I would definitely expose to her parents what is going on, if they are good folks they might be able to help her.

But you need to file for either a divorce or an annulment.

Like I said, I almost never tell anyone on here to go strait to that, but you should.

She started this behavior at 19.

I have seen it many, many times. When your that young your adult personality is still forming, your sens of right, wrong, and your sens of morality are being assembled. These senses get "Hard-Wired" in your brain within a few years.

She is forming a life long moral value system that says it is alright to leave your husband and have relationships and sex with other men anytime she wants. Don't be surprised to find out she has been dabbling in recreational drugs as well. At that age promiscuous sex always seems to be followed by drug use.

This path of destructiveness will continue until something snaps her out of it. In my experience it is usually an "Unplanned" pregnancy where the fathers identity is ambiguous at best. Sometimes not even that affects there downward spiral.

Go talk to her parents.
Go to a dark Plan-B
And please,Please, file today.

thank you gack, i think thats the response i needed. I got the papers today, its gonna be a couple weeks before i can file because im broke right now, but thank you for the advice everyone

You are young and no kids makes it best to dump her for she has shown that life with her will be married to a serial cheater.

Me telling you to dump her is not the same as what do you want to do. Which is?

This girl will need years of therapy with a good IC to fix herself.

Will this happene?

Will she stay fixed?

Ask family members to help you file SOONER...sooner is better then alter trust me! Your family will understand.

Have you exposed her multiple A's to her family yet? If not I would do so..like YESTERDAY!

i will expose tonight. its probably gonna be rough because she is their little princess and "im the bad guy" to their knowledge. But well see what happens and ill update asap.

Good for you!!

Just for a warning your wife will be VERY VERY angry and upset when you do this.

But they all need to know what their little precious daughter has been doing...give them PROOF!!

Please get tested for STDs before you ever have sex again!

Alright. i exposed everything to her parents. they were upset but not too surprised. They said shed be on the phone with them while she would be with another guy so they figured something was up but didnt realize it was as bad as it was. They also brought up that they believed she may be bi-polar she has always showed signs but never gone in to be diagnosed. Either way they are on my side and will be contacting her shortly. I also told them to not be surprised if she shows up at their doorstep in a week. They told me they dont blame me and ive put up with it for longer than they would of. I was surprised because i was nervous as hell calling them i didnt think theyd believe me or just blow it off but they seemed to want to help. well i guess ill update as soon as my wife comes at me with a knife lol.

Great job! I am happy that you were supported! She will be angry, but just tell her you are doing whatever it takes to save your marriage.

Next up...

And after that comes out, you will find there have been many more sexual encounters than just the three you know of.

AWESOME!!

And after that comes out, you will find there have been many more sexual encounters than just the three you know of. [/quote]

I did find out that she has been smoking pot every once and a while, and shes deffinately been drinking alot, and trust me i do believe theres been more than 3 encounters, her and my [ex] friend have had a thing but they both deny theyve had sex, they just "kissed"... whatever. But now what, ive exposed. Last night she came home mad, i was 80% asleep so i dont remember much of what she said but her dad isnt talking to her and her mom is upset, and "Im treating her like im her father and shes my kid". But now what? Do i just send her back home? Or do i try to get her help?

You file for divorce, or annulment.

Borrow the money from you parents and hire a lawyer and get it started.

You need to be doing this TODAY!

She does not want your help, so don't.
If she wants to go to her parents then let her.

But you NEED to file for divorce or annulment, NOW!

Alright after doing alot of research on this site ive realized and learned ALOT.

Funny enough the past few months i have been doing a pretty solid plan A without even knowing it. And whether or not she has some underlying problems (depression, bi-polar) she has been unhappy with me from not meet EN's and the romance was gone. She has always told me shed never cheat on me and it was against her moral values. Therefore something changed her values. So I think OM started talking to her meeting her needs and she may of pushed him away at first but slowly started to change her moral values to meet her needs and be happy. Obviously she had to push me away to continue to let the affair continue. After the spark was gone with the first OM, she was further from me than ever, and since shes an extremely attractive woman it wasn't difficult for her to replace the first guy with another. and so on. and since this has been going on for months and months her moral values are so f***ed that shes lost in some fantasy world where she can come and go as she pleases, because its ok for her to do what shes doing because she is already emotionally seperated from me and divorce is inevitable. So in order for her to stick to whatever morals she has left she will start a fight and seperate from me physically and therefore its not cheating. (she actually told me that she doesnt feel shes cheated on me because we were seperated when the acts took place, and by seperated she "moved out for the night")
Although Plan A did not bring her back to me, i do think i did a good enough job showing her I care and confront her about the affairs, and now ive even exposed them.
After everyones advice and researching this site, i too feel divorce is inevitable, and I will be going to a dark plan B.
But where Im going to break everyones advice is i'm going into plan B for 2 reasons, I want to protect myself, but im not ready to move on. When I send her back to her parents, I am hoping she hits a brick wall of reality, but i do want her to come running back to me. (unless she gets pregnant)
But i will be ready to move on if she moves on or continues to be crazy.

I just hope im not over analyzing the situation and having a false sense of hope, like some of you have mentioned she might have underlying problems, and even if she does come around will it be permanent? Either way If all goes as planned and she comes back I will use all the resources on this site to make sure nothing like this ever happens again.

thoughts?

Ive got the divorce papers (annulment is no longer possible)
My dad is helping me with the legal stuff, but not financial stuff because they cant afford it either. But since it will be uncontested I won't need a lawyer, so once i get 280$ i can bring in the papers and file, then in 4 months show up for the final hearing and its over.

If you are going into plan B let me tell you a couple things....

When a couple has no kids, it is harder for the WS to come back, and right now it doesn't sound like your wife has no reason to come back to you sorry :(, sounds like she is doing just fine with out you (even though in reality she is messed up emotionally) but in reality you have a 20% chance that she will be crawling back, and when she does it will be a LONG LONG recovery.

Go into A DARK PLAN B for NOW!

File those papers anyway, you can still do this in a dark plan B

Find someone who can be the IM

Change the locks, so she can't come in the house while you are gone

Talk to your lawyer and see what you can do about her adulterous life, so you do not have to support her after the marriage.

Good luck!

what does IM mean?

Are you supporting her financially?

If you are ready for Plan-B, then ask her to move out.

Once she has provide her with a Plan-B letter stating that until she is done committing adultery, you must protect yourself from the pain she is causing you. Explain to her that once she is ready to go no contact with all the OM, and ready to commit herself to marital recovery, you will consider allowing her back. But until then you wont no further contact with her.

Name an intermediary she can use if she needs to contact you.

IM : Intermediary

Yes i am supporting her financially, But her parents already said she wil be able to move back in with them "but she will be working and going back to school and she will not have men running around this house" =] ... i liked the sound of that. The only Bills Ill have of hers will be our phone bill, but ive already blocked all text messaging and internet usage and shes limited to 450 mins a month after that her phone will not work.

next wed will be the day shes moving out, what should i do until then? should i write the plan-b letter today? or wait till shes actually moving out?

also i really cant think of an intermediary, my friends and family wont want to talk to her, the only people i can think of is maybe her parents. but thats a big maybe because i honestly dont think shell tell her parents to contact me if she does need anything. is an intermediary necessary?