TALK TO YOUR WIFE ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE ISSUES!!!!!!!!

Amen - sistah!

Tom, you're having an emotional affair with this woman. Knock it off. Is your wife friends with this person?

I thought I was "in love" a couple other times. But it wasn't real. It was not recipricated at all, I wasn't a strong enough person either time to really be in love either.

If you are not going to fix this....IDK what else to say but to D your W....It will save her the devestating, horrific pain of your Affair continuing.....

Seriously, there is no affair, we are coworkers/friends that talk to each other. We don't even really hang out that often outside of work. Almost always when we have it has been with other people around. Men and women can be friends. I work with basically all women, its bound to happen that I be friends with some of them.

My wife knows this other person, likes this other person. We have all hung out together at times. Her and I, though we are friends, and get a long very well, would never work in a real relationship. Just would not happen.

Seriously, there is. You're deluding yourself. You're giving your conversation to a woman at work, and coming home to flip on the TV with your WIFE. That's really effed up.

I'll ask again: does your wife know about your friendship with this woman, and does she approve?

Yes, she knows we are friends. My wife, if asked, would also say that she is probably the "best" friend I have outside of marriage and relatives.

I have HIGH DOUBT that your wife would approve of you discussing your marital issues (that we now know your wife is unaware of) with this OW (other woman).

So, ask her. We'll wait.

No, I don't tell her when I discuss marital issues with my friend. As I am guessing my friend doesn't tell her husband she discusses hers with me. We just use each other as sounding boards because we have had similar experiences in life. We relate to one another, so it is good to get someone elses perspective who relates to similarly. That is all.

Tom, among other things, this looks like an indicator that you have an EN for intimate conversation.

That is DANGER!

And you don't see it. *sigh*

Yes I enjoy good conversation. Also evidenced to my amount of posts in the past couple of days on here lol.

Tom, My WH left me and DS for a friend/coworker that he talked to about our marital issues....please, wake up.

I don't understand why it is so wrong to talk to a friend about issues/concerns in your life?

WH decided, what would the harm be in having SF with her too....

Tom, nobody outside of your marriage should know more about your marriage than BOTH people in it.

I think the first thing you should work on is honesty.

You and this woman each discussing your TROUBLED MARRIAGES is a recipe for disaster. I assure you.

You won't tell your wife!!! That's what so wrong.

If you're doing something that you won't tell your wife, that's your first clue that ought not be doing it.

.... well the truth comes out....

figures....

Tom - I had a co-worker. We are friends. Our families get together to hang out. We'd talk about our marriages because I figured that's what friends do. After hanging here a while I realized what a slippery slope I was on.

You are not safe from having an affair. Your marriage doesn't protect you. Her marriage doesn't protect her. The only protection are EPs.

HECK YOU CAME HERE INITIALLY POSTING ABOUT GETTING INTO AN AFFAIR. So don't tell me it isn't on your mind. You're lying to yourself, bud.

So this co-worker of mine. We're 'just friends' but I put up some EPs anyways.


Not good enough. It should be NEVER hang out outside of work.

You can be friendly with your co-workers. There is no reason to be 'friends' with them.

My EPs for my coworker friend - and by extrapolation for any future 'guy' friends I may have:

I log any online conversations we have. The logs are always available to my husband. With work sometimes its easier to message/email.

I don't contact him outside of work.

If our families are going to get together I call his WIFE.

NO marriage talk, ever.

I've stopped going to lunch with my co-workers because a couple of times other people didn't show and it was just me and him. Big nono! I only go if I'm picking up my husband and he's going too.

I am never in a situation where I am alone with him. He recently recommended a mechanic to work on our car. It would have been easier to drop off my car after work and have him take me home. That puts me in a car alone with him. NONO. I picked up my husband, he dropped me off at home and HE took the car in to the shop and got dropped off by this friend.

An affair is very easy to get in to and we're ALL wired for it.... the only protection is precautions. No nothing untoward ever happened with this friend. My husband has been privy to ALL of our conversations... nothing EA like at all - doesn't matter...

Sheesh Tom....


Quoted for TRUTH!