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I got him a gym membership but he will not come with me. I wish he would!!!

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I guess all you can do is keep inviting him and try to make it seem fun (and dress cute). My husband loves my new smaller workout clothes. wink


Over it.
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Today is my WO "day off". I worked out fairly hard yesterday and it DID help me feel better! The gym was packed, though, and I hate that! <note to self: it's VERY RUDE to hog three machines at one time trying to do circuit training in a crowded gym! Do people have no gym etiquette?!?!? I'm PMSing so I wanted to scream. I controlled myself, however.>

Today is running errands...lots and lots of errands...we're going camping this weeekend and I have to finish up for that as well as get a few other things...birthday presents and stuff. So I won't WO but I WILL look good. smile



Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
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Bumping this up. Was looking at my past goals when this thread started and I am pleased that I have lost more weight from when this started.

We get down on ourselves as these A destroy. This is a good reminder that we need to take care of ourselves.

There are some newbies that need to start thinking of their own needs and there are some Mbers that posted that might want to re-look at their previous posts.

Enjoy


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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I'm getting braces on the 19th!!! But not before I have to get 8 teeth pulled. Unfortunately my teeth were too bad for invisalign, I think. I've also been trying to dress better. My h loves high heels so I now have discovered the joys of shoe shopping!


Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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Have to add though...shoe shopping can also be very frustrating when on a tight budget! I did recently become aware of the clearance section at DSW!!!! Ross also has decent prices on shoes.


Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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wax everything from the eyebrows down. it's actually cheaper and lower maintenance than shaving. i haven't owned a razor in like a decade. it's not one of those immediately visible changes, your husband will just think you're a miracle of magical smoothness.

get lovely skin. laser, retin-a, tan-in-a-can, whatever it takes, and let it be your secret how you achieve it. shhhh.

daily: do one prettiness-enhancing thing only for your husband and that no one else will ever see. fancy panties or something.

ASK BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING TO YOUR HAIR. many of us have learned this the hard way. isn't that right, fellas?

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Many good tips to review here.

If we do not feel good about ourselves, we will never thrive.

To live well is the best revenge (eye opener)


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
Joined: Jun 2008
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Originally Posted by RemainNameless
wax everything from the eyebrows down. it's actually cheaper and lower maintenance than shaving. i haven't owned a razor in like a decade. it's not one of those immediately visible changes, your husband will just think you're a miracle of magical smoothness.

get lovely skin. laser, retin-a, tan-in-a-can, whatever it takes, and let it be your secret how you achieve it. shhhh.

daily: do one prettiness-enhancing thing only for your husband and that no one else will ever see. fancy panties or something.

ASK BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING TO YOUR HAIR. many of us have learned this the hard way. isn't that right, fellas?

I have to agree. My wife is almost always smooth. I love it. I tell her all the time that I love how she looks, smells, and feels like a woman. She waxes eye brows but shaves everything else. I also have preferences on underware styles and colors. She does accommodate this quite well and it�s much appreciated.

I�m not so picky on her hair. I have certain styles that I like more than others but she�s not doing anything drastic like shaving it into a mohawk or shaving her head. She keeps it clean, looking nice, and smelling nice. Other than that, I�m not really picky. I am definitely not like some of the husbands that only want their wife to wear their hair one way.

And there�s a few things I do in return for my wife that she likes�I keep my eyebrows trimmed, nose hair not seen, keep my underarms shaved (yes, I have hairless pits), keep body hair very shortly trimmed or bare. Really other than top of my head, eyebrows, forearms, and legs, I�m pretty bare. So I guess she and I do spend a certain amount of time dedicated to making sure we look aesthetically pleasing to each other.


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

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Easiest "diet" I ever did, and it has changed my entire eating and living situation. Took off the weight, and for four years I have KEPT it off. It is a permanent change.

This manner of eating has changed the WAY I eat, in terms of quantity. There are no real restrictions on what kind of foods, so you don't have to change what you eat.

Every Other Day Diet:

1. The first phase starts with looking at how much you eat - and I mean EXACTLY how much you eat - for at least one week. Don't focus on changing anything! Just closely examine how much you eat every day. Document it, and look at your plate - how full is that plate? How much food do you actually consume every day?

2. Phase two is the beginning of the diet. Day one is eating your "normal" amound of food. Look at that day's worth of food closely. Do not overeat, do not binge, don't go crazy. Just eat a normal amount of food.

The second day, you eat ONE-HALF the amount of food you ate on the first day. Half portions. You can eat whatever you want - just place ONE-HALF of the amount of food you put on your plate the day before. You cannot have seconds.

The third day, you eat normally.

Day four, HALF-Portion day.

Day five, normal day. Day six, Half-portion day.

Use this alternating day sequence for at least three weeks.



Phase two actually works to reduce your overall calorie intake by 25% over the course of any given week, because you are cutting down your calories just by dieting every other day. The bonus is that you are dieting ONE DAY ONLY - on the "half" days. You know you get a break on the "normal" days.

3. After your three weeks, you should see some changes in how you are seeing food portions. Your "normal" days are now reducing in portions, because those "half" days have become influential in how your mind views what a TRUE portion of food is. Your brain is beginning to view food portions as being smaller, and realizes that it can make it through a day on much less food than it thought. Move into the next phase!

4. New rules. Using your hand for the "normal" day portions - you are now reducing your portions on those days to where they should be. Your palm is the size of portion for meat servings. Your hand is the size for pasta, rice, or sides of veggies.

Palm size for desserts.

The other rule is: You are not allowed to eat ANYTHING out of a bag...you have to take a serving out of the bag, put it on a plate, and eat it from the plate. Put the bag AWAY.

Half-days are still half-days - OF THE DAY BEFORE!!!

The pounds will now drop off. But you will not miss the food. Your stomach is shrinking, and you will realize very quickly how portion size and your mind will work together to satisfy your cravings.

You CAN have dessert - just size it correctly. You can have what you want to eat - just size it correctly. You are not a slave to the food, but rather you control the food portion now, and the brain, after just a few weeks of work, realizes that the portions are the controlling issue.



I lost 56 pounds this way and went way under my goal weight. After a slight rebound, I am still at my goal weight, with a total weight loss and maintenance of a loss of 47 pounds - after nearly 5 years.

The best part is I do not diet at all. My portion size has literally changed, and I don't even WANT a lot of food anymore. It doesn't interest me.


Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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I'd forgotten about this thread and am happy to see that I've lost 8 pounds since I lasted posted ~ and when you're only 5'2, 8 lbs is alot, LOL!


Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
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Good for you, MF! That is a ton for that height!

I thought I posted on this thread before on my favorite workout videos since I am a video fitness junkie... maybe it was lost in the crash?

I am a makeup junkie as well although I strive for the natural look. Keep me away from Sephora! Dangerous!

The thing I never ever skip in my beauty routine is
#1 good moisturizer (whole face) & concealer (under eyes)
#2 eyebrows (people have good hair days ~ I say good eyebrow day)
#3 curl lashes/mascara.

This is every morning, even if I am just staying home. I literally feel like a hag if I don't do it. It makes a HUGE difference!


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
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Thanks Susie! I feel great which is funny because I didn't feel bad before. smile

I always at least put foundation and powder on, even if I'm only going to the gym or staying home. I also moisturize my face twice a day and am vigilant about putting sunscreen on my face and wearing a hat in the sun. My motto is PREVENTION!

We went waterskiing last week and since we were in and out of the water so much I didn't bother with make-up~ so I just refused to look in the mirror. wink

DH kept hugging me and saying "you are so cute" ~ good thing he likes the natural look, LOL!



Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
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I got my eyeliner tattooed. Not.for.wussies.

but it looks really good.

Since I HATE makeup, I do not know how I am going to improve. I have tried all the tricks out there,

I just hate putting it on, and I tend to rub it off if I am wearing it.

I would LOVE a facelift- I seem to "frown" all the time.

but- not with kid in college this fall.

BC


Me; W 46
Him; H 46

2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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I can't wait till this baby is out so I can start working on the attractiveness! smile I used to take SUPER good care of shaving and plucking my brows and was really well groomed. Then DD came along...I stopped having time to keep up my eyebrows every day and shaving went from an every day thing to an every third day thing.

I plan on waxing when I'm done popping out this kid. smile And I might get hair extensions - my husband loves long hair and I can never grown mine long enough. I got a second ear piercing and he hated it.....so I might take that out but we'll see. smile

I think attractiveness is very important. I mean - imagine if you were married to a fat ugly slob who took no concern over his appearance. And it's so easy - ANY woman can look great with the proper grooming. smile


Me: BW, 27
Him: WH, 29
DD 4
DS 1
Married 07/25/09
A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner)
D-Day: 3/31/10
2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010
3rd D-Day: 4/21/10

Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10
WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10
False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10

Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012

Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
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Still waiting, eh?


Me; W 46
Him; H 46

2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
Joined: Apr 2010
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Originally Posted by barbiecat
Still waiting, eh?

still waiting..... smile


Me: BW, 27
Him: WH, 29
DD 4
DS 1
Married 07/25/09
A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner)
D-Day: 3/31/10
2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010
3rd D-Day: 4/21/10

Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10
WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10
False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10

Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012

Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
Joined: Jun 2010
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Congratulations!! Boy, girl, or are you going to be surprised? Have names picked out?

i went 2 weeks past my due date with both my kids, so i empathize...i was a frickin BEHEMOTH!

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