Just curious...What is the longest amount of time anyone has gone before they realized they couldn't take their WS back?

Why do you ask?

ss409,

Can't say what will happen, but it has been 20+ years, since my wife had her bad "EA". Because of who OM was, should I find out it was a PA, I'm not sure I could continue the marriage.

God Bless
Gamma

ss409 - you've got posts all over MB. Can you notify the mods and ask them to combine them all? It's easier if you keep all of your posts on one thread so people can keep up. I personally usually won't go searching out someone's previous threads because frankly, I just don't have the time.

Once you do that, people might get a better idea how to help you.

Pepperband...to answer your question, I was just curious. I've already decided I can't take my WS back. I waited 4 months (most of which he lived with her), for him to decide what he wanted. During all this, I kept telling him I wanted us to go to counseling. He had agreed to MC, but I went out of town (previously planned)for 5 days and he said I had abandoned him. It has been over a year now since the A was reveled, during which time he has been living with her. The other aspect is, he has changed into a complete stranger. The transformation is like night and day. He's gone from no drinking to drinking, abhoring smoking to smoking, no cussing to can't hold a conversation without cussing, being tattoo and piercing free to getting tattoos and a nipple piercing. What's even worse is he has turned his back on God and he no longer speaks to friends he once had so much love and respect for. Months ago, I could and would have taken him back, but now it's too late. There is too much hurt and anger on my part to even consider a reconcilation. I know there are probably many out there who have waited years until the WS returned, but I just can't do it.

I thought I'd post and let you all know that I've forgiven my WH. This doesn't mean that we will be reconciling (divorce is still eminent). This also doesn't mean I condone or accept his actions.Forgiveness benefits you more than the other person, and that forgiveness has helped me tremendously. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can really start looking toward the future. I still pray that my WH will repent (we are both Christians). I am also praying for all the BS's out there who are going through this pain, and the WS's who now realize the pain they have caused and are trying to repair their marriages. God bless you all.