No MB M is perfect, but there is a difference between the people who follow the concepts and advice here and those who don't. Those many people who fail do not, and those who succeed, even in divorce, do apply these techniques to their life.


This path you have choosen seems pretty low resistance also. Soft deadlines, soft boundaries....soft, soft, soft....marriage.


Plan ahead to fight for your kid, the kid does not have to go with her, there are other options even if your lawer will not admit it.

This is a weird situation you have put yourself in, and you did it all on your choice.

This whole thing is making my head spin. When she tells you that she wants more time to think it over, it's so she can have more time to go hang out with OM, this is essentially an open marriage now and you are allowing it.

You tell your lawyer you want full custody. You tell him you want him to fight for that or you'll get another lawyer. Then you tell your WW that you are filing for full custody and she will pay you child support and until she is ready to fully commit to the marriage, you want her out and she can go live with OM.

Stop being nice and stand up to her. Even the women are telling you this. I'm not just spouting off some alpha male junk...she doesn't respect you because you're way too nice and she feels like she can fun all over you. Being nice is nice but too nice is asking for trouble.

And 2 months is a drop in teh bucket. There's no way I'd agree to alimony and dropping her CS calculation to 25K...I'd go for full custody and tell her you'll run yourself into bankruptcy fighting this.

There's no way I'd let some wayward spouse tell me how it's going to be. You need to become a shark.

I don't understand this YEG. Why are you discussing lowering HER child support number to 25K when you also talk about how you'll never get custody. If you don't get custody, you'll be the one paying child support, not her.

I'm afraid she is leading you by the nose straight to her dream divorce. She's setting you up my friend. I'm sorry you can't see it. It seems you so badly want to believe her that you've put on blinders to what's really happening here.

Too bad you can't get an emergency session with Steve. I think you really need it. Oh, and when you do talk to him, please don't sugarcoat it... give him ALL the info.

Still prayin' for you.

I think its about the calculations...

When they use that "method" in CS....the amount is based on how much each party earns. She wants her earning amount lowered so that her contribution is lowered...thereby causing YEG to pay MORE in child support to HER.

That way...if there is large CS...she gets off easy because she doesn't have to report that to the IRS like she would have to Spousal Support. YEG cannot claim CS as a deduction but he would get to claim a deduction for Spousal Support. She has found her a way to come out a winner...and YEG a loser.

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I think WW gave YEG some SF. He is very foggy!

She has sought legal advice..and it is coming across as diabolical to me.

She is lining up her ducks.

Watch what you sign YEG...you might be signing over the farm.

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Yeg, really man, when you see her tonight, I'd have that list ready of what it will take for plan B/D not to happen. The UA time, no contact, NC letter written, etc.

You're going to end up paying big time if she has her income lowered, so much so that it won't matter if you're paying alimony or not. It's not like you're being a jerk. You've been accomodating; she is the one trying to run off to a fantasy life.

You're not me, but here's how I would do this.
Contact your lawyer and let him/her know you want full custody. If they say "no way" find another lawyer.

You tell your WW that you are not taking back the divorce papers. That you have decided taht you are going for full custody and that in any case, her income will not be lowered. I would also tell her that I would be willing to bankrupt myself completely fighting this.

Ridiculous. Love her you do and she's taking advantage of that. You should be mad enough now that you don't want to play nice.

No i havent had SF with her. I havent had near SF.

No she is WAIVING alimony. Saying that she will bar herself.

How big of her. NOT. Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that she would have to claim alimony as income on her tax return. Child support doesn't have to be claimed.

Is all I have to say...sorry YEG, but atleast we can say we tried.

GOOD LUCK with the rest of you life...just remember...

WE TOLD YOU SO!!

CORRECT!!!

That's why she wants her earnings (and earning potential) cut in half. She wants to have MORE child support since she doesn't have to claim it.

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Does anyone else feel like they need to throw up??? I feel sick to my stomach that YEG does not see this....and I'm really sad, because I thought YEG was smarter then this...sigh...

PLEASE YEG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just don't understand....

You came on here to help your marriage right?

And yet the plan you are in is heading to a big fat DIVORCE!!

If you where going this path why didn't you just sign the papers and get it over with?

Instead of staying in it this long??

I'm confused.

Help me understand, and don't say "she sleeping in the same bed as me" bla bla bla...wanna know why she is doing it?

Because she knows you are a nice guy, and as long as she "acts" like she wants to recover you will give HER ANYTHING!

SIGH...

Wait...so alimony is claimed as income but CS is not? I didn't know that.

Oh hell, I'd definately bump her wages up to 50K, find a lower paying job, give her spousal support, and fight her on this until bankruptcy.

But this whole thing makes me angry and bitter. And, in the meantime, I'd expose OM for making contact a 3rd time so he's have to find a new career. There's no way I'd make this easy on anyone.

Look up pom's story. He rolled over and got taken for a huge ride because he started rolling over just like YOU!

You must take control back.

But, you clearly don't want to be told that. You want to be tld that your current course of action is okay. It's not.

Good luck.

Yes, just like Alimony is a DEDUCTION for the person paying it. But child support is not deductible (by the person giving it)...nor does it have to be claimed as income (by the person receiving it).

So...which one is a WS gonna want?

Doesn't take a degree in rocket science to figure that one out, does it.


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Here is her point about the child support.

The earning potential of 50k was based on her old job that she lost. Since she is barred from that field now she cant get a job that pays as much. She thinks that is unfair.

I dont think she wants a lifetime cap on her income being 25K. Just she is afraid that she will get screwed in the long run.

Ok. While writing this out I see your point. If she really wants to give it another try why would she be worried about leaving.

Ughh this sucks. I hate feeling manipulated but Im starting too see your point. Damn it.

Yes. This is true....


He still has a case for not paying ss under his state's law since she commited adultery. If he takes her back he loses that. I would make her sign a no alimony agreement and cs would be what a judge ordered...I would not agree to lowering it if I was YEG.

YEG she is running the show. You are allowing her to.

Consequences from HER adulterous actions....not necessarily unfair.



So what does that mean??? That she is gonna put the screws to you then???

You need to look her in the eye and reply....

"so...YOU don't want to get screwed in all this mess...you want ME to get screwed....gotcha"

Is there a crazy-making icon?????

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