|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 676
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 676 |
Music is a really big trigger for many different things. I have so many songs that remind me of different people, events, times. Gotta enjoy the memories of living.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1
Junior Member
|
Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1 |
Tom, I'm an FWW and I have FAR more empathy with the triggers that songs can cause a BS than you seem to have. Enjoy the memories of living? Are you for real? Did you know that these songs make people feel physically sick when they hear them?
FWIW I hear some of the songs I thought were so "romantic" during the A and I just laugh out loud that I thought they meant something. They are PATHETIC with a capital P.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 8,297
Member
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 8,297 |
Tom, I'm an FWW and I have FAR more empathy with the triggers that songs can cause a BS than you seem to have. Enjoy the memories of living? Are you for real? Did you know that these songs make people feel physically sick when they hear them?
FWIW I hear some of the songs I thought were so "romantic" during the A and I just laugh out loud that I thought they meant something. They are PATHETIC with a capital P.
Posting as the right KiwiJ this time.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,583
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,583 |
{{{{{Not}}}}}
During the affair, FWH was doing some repair work around the house and Lips of an Angel came on the radio. He cranked it up really loud and was singing just as loud. URGH!!!!
Then my teens started talking about how cool that song is. I cooly (with a bit of rage bubbling under the surface) told them exactly what that song was about.
Then I visualized in my head yanking that radio out of the wall and throwing it across the garage. I didn't....I was in plan A. I regret not doing it, though. I should not have tolerated a song like that being rubbed in my face in my own home.
So, yeah, that song has been a huge trigger for me, too.
I'm sorry it was such a rotten day. I hope you are feeling better today.
Happily married to HerPapaBear
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,583
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,583 |
Look on the bright side, it could have been during a hemorroid surgery.
Happily married to HerPapaBear
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 2,305
Member
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 2,305 |
Must have been the time frame because those same songs are big triggers for me and i turn them off everytime they come on the radio. Not, sorry you were in a situation where you could not do that . And i also agree with whoever said the person that wrote Lips of an Angel sucks and was probably in an affair when they wrote it.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,094
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,094 |
Hey Not. Sorry, late to the "party" here, but I hope you're feeling better today. Triggers are a bummer, especially when you're strapped to a dentist's chair. At least you're home now and can change the station all you want. Don't try the Disney Channel on XM though, the new Black Eyed Peas song (all about lying) is a nice little trigger. (Yes, I was listening to the Disney Channel on XM....) opt
Me: 43 y.o. BFWH, D-day 11/11/09 (NC since 9/01) Divorce from WW final 9/16/10. Current Status: MB-based Marriage to Nature Girl 12/8/12 (first date on 12/11/10) Mine: S(16), D(11) NatureGirls: S(23), D(21) Another EA Story
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 676
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 676 |
Tom, I'm an FWW and I have FAR more empathy with the triggers that songs can cause a BS than you seem to have. Enjoy the memories of living? Are you for real? Did you know that these songs make people feel physically sick when they hear them?
FWIW I hear some of the songs I thought were so "romantic" during the A and I just laugh out loud that I thought they meant something. They are PATHETIC with a capital P.
Posting as the right KiwiJ this time. Sorry, I was making a general statement about music and the various types of triggers that it has.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,722
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,722 |
Music is very powerful for triggering all memories associated with the song, whether good or bad. It really sucks when it's bad though, because all the feelings associated with the song come at you hard.
For me, the bad ones are "So What" from Pink (WW told me that the song captured what she was thinking and feeling way back around the ILYBNILWY time and before I knew anything about the A) and "You Belong to Me" by Taylor Swift. I don't even know the whole song, but WW had that set as music that would play when you called her cell phone. I can only assume in her mind it was POSOM she was thinking about in the song. Made me just cringe every time I called WW's phone. She has since changed it. If I ever hear either of those songs now, I turn the channel immediately.
On the positive side, there are many 'good' songs that I like to listen to now that make me feel good when I hear them. Typically a lot of loud angry music, but not always. There are many good songs out there that make me feel positive about what I'm doing here. Music triggers are very strong either way.
Forgot to add- Really hope you are feeling better today!!
Last edited by SickofLimbo; 07/09/10 10:39 AM.
-SOL
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537 |
{{{{{NOT}}}}}
I'm sorry i am a day late here. I hope your mouth is feeling better hate the whole teeth thing. I also hope you got better with the triggers when you got up. I know what you mean about most songs that were "good" during that time period and how they totally stink now. Glad there are only two triggers left for you and i pray that those too shall pass for you. Hope you and the fam are great and you mouth heals fastly
~ME
Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,921
Member
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,921 |
There's a point where you get past all of the triggers and nothing really bugs you anymore. At least that should be the goal.
I don't get triggered by anything, which is way different than it use to be.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,499
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,499 |
THANK YOU everyone!!!!! For the prayers and support...... I'm feeling LOADS better today. I'm off the vicodine and using darvocet instead. Still a prescription, but I found that the vicodine gives me a huge "hangover" headache...... Mr. Not took wonderful care of me yesterday...... You think my posting on drugs is bad, you should see my texting......... He brought me medicine and even went out in a huge, nasty downpour to get me ice cream.......he's awesome...... As far as the trigger, I didn't think about it again after I woke up. The Angel song really tears me up.......still. I hate it. Being 2 1/2 yrs out from dday and 2 yrs into R, I WANT it not to affect me. I do extremely well with most every other trigger but not that one......... And yes being tied down in a dentist chair being FORCED to listen to it while someone is pushing around on your jaw with a 200lb plier......double yuck..... But on a funny note......did ya all notice my thread title????! "Today just BITES.....".....and I got a tooth pulled!!!!!!..... I didn't even do that on purpose.......I still crack myself up........ Thanks again everyone.........loves ya all more than my luggage....... Not
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,583
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,583 |
LOVE YOU, NOT!! Glad you're back to your sweet self! Being 2 1/2 yrs out from dday and 2 yrs into R, I WANT it not to affect me. I so get this!
Happily married to HerPapaBear
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
Member
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820 |
Glad you are feeling better and good post I thought I was the only one with a music trigger........glad to see it's all a normal thing and also looking forward to it all ending for good......
BW 56 WH 57 Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that..... DS 23, DS 25 D-Day Nov 23/09 NC Mar 1/10 Working on Recovery Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,499
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,499 |
Thanks SMB.....back atcha!!!!! Glad you're back to your sweet self! I'm sure Mr. Not would NOT agree with this.....at least not this morning..... In my best defense though, he was asking me some stuff that required thinking when I had just woke up and hadn't even had any Tylenol in 10 hrs........I'll make it up to him later...... Being 2 1/2 yrs out from dday and 2 yrs into R, I WANT it not to affect me. I so get this! [/quote] Yeah, I know you know what I know.......{{{{{{SMB}}}}}} Not
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
2 members (doseedo, 1 invisible),
533
guests, and
40
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|