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Enter husband #2 or Mr. Rebound, as my sister calls him. I met my current hubby when he hit on me on the internet about a month after my hubby left. We started dating shortly thereafter and quickly fell in love. My divorce from hubby #1 was final on Dec 17, 1999 and my new hubby proposed to me on Xmas eve. We were married the following April.
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Sounds decidely affairage to me Jen. Is this a friend of yours?
Are they still together now?
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Well I would have to say yes, because as we all know, it aint over till the fat lady sings, and a married woman has no business dating until the D papers are signed
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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There must be a statute of limitations on affairages. Going by this anyway.
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This is what Dr Harley says... Dr Harley's response to affairiage they are warning you about what happens to relationship that originated as an affair. I have counseled hundreds of these couples and am presently counseling couples that married after an affair, and I can tell you from first-hand experience, and their own unsolicited comments, that if they had put the same effort into their marriages, they would be happily married to their original spouses today.
While it's true that there are happy marriages that start as affairs, they are in the minority. Only about 5% of all affairs end in marriage, and only about 1/3 of those marriages survive the first five years. You probably have one chance in 100 of turning this marriage into a successful relationship, and you're off to a terrible start in spite of your love and commitment.
I have a theory about why marriage after an affair is so unsuccessful, but the fact that they're unsuccessful is well documented. My main contention is that for whatever reasons, those who have affairs tend not to follow one of my cardinal principles for marriage: The Policy of Joint Agreement (never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse). They tend to do what they please without considering each other's feelings. While that may not apply to both members of the relationship, it almost always applies to at least one of them. Your friend's affair with another man in the beginning your your relationship is evidence that she's not thinking about your interests.
I try very hard to keep these marriages together, in spite of the fact that there is such a low probability of success. If I thought I would fail, I wouldn't be wasting my time. And yet, I have had very little success. I keep thinking that I will eventually find a way to succeed.
There are so many obsticles to overcome. In addition to failure to follow the POJA, there is also a marked failure to follow the Policy of Radical Honesty. They tend to be incredibly dishonest, in spite of the fact that they start out thinking they can look right into each other's very souls. Also this As it turns out, most affairs end within six months of their seeing the light of day (being revealed to their family and friends), and almost all affairs end without leading to marriage. Even those few that end in marriage have only a 25% rate of success.
That's because affairs are based on dishonesty and thoughtlessness for the feelings of others. That same dishonesty and thoughtlessness eventually turns on the lovers themselves, and the affair is destroyed by those same flaws that made it possible in the first place. What drives affairs is passion, not commitment, and once the passion wanes, there is nothing to help the lovers restore their passion.
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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Enter husband #2 or Mr. Rebound, as my sister calls him. I met my current hubby when he hit on me on the internet about a month after my hubby left. We started dating shortly thereafter and quickly fell in love. My divorce from hubby #1 was final on Dec 17, 1999 and my new hubby proposed to me on Xmas eve. We were married the following April. It is. This statement was made in the first post ever to this board. The events surrounding the marriage were not hidden from MB. Why are you reposting this? Would you like to see this poster banned?
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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The Harleys encourage honesty in sharing circumstances on these boards and offer to help ANY person earnestly seeking marriage improvement regardless of these.
** Please do NOT use these attributes as weapons **
I am watching closely.
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Interesting tactic to avoid your entitlement thread. As SC said, this information was never hidden from the board. The only person this makes look bad.... is you, Jen.
Happily married to HerPapaBear
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"Outing" someone who outed herself in.... 1999Wow! That's some detective work.
Happily married to HerPapaBear
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Sounds decidely affairage to me Jen. Is this a friend of yours? It is someone who was once a friend of Jen's, whose friendship Jen rejected after this friend tried to help Jen's marriage after she broke NC and restarted an EA. I think this vengeance from Jen has been a long time coming.
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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