Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
Member
|
Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871 |
I always appreciated my mother, but it wasn't until I had a kid that I could better UNDERSTAND her. Better yet, it wasn't until I faced being a single mom that I fully respected her (not that I didn't respect her already...or that I desired being a single mom over saving my marriage...but I'm sure you got that ;))
Last edited by silentlucidity; 07/14/10 05:53 PM.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 27
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 27 |
Wow, Mel - I just finished reading this thread. I can only imagine your pain. I totally agree with Neak. She phrased it all very well. While I do understand what Mrs. W and SMB have said about not missing your son's wedding, I do think you have to know your own limits. I am proud of you for standing up for what is right. I applaud you - you are a very strong woman, and obviously a real parent for life. Parenting doesn't end when they turn 18 - you have to be an example and stand up for what is right until the day you leave this earth.
I also love the ideas of honoring your son's marriage separately. It is sort of sad that we place so much emphasis on one day. When it's all over, it ends up being just day (although hopefully one filled with happy memories).
I believe that I would do just as you are doing, if I was in your shoes.
You go girl!!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 658
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 658 |
I always appreciated my mother, but it wasn't until I had a kid that I could better UNDERSTAND her. Better yet, it wasn't until I faced being a single mom that I fully respected her (not that I didn't respect her already...or that I desired being a single mom over saving my marriage...but I'm sure you got that ;)) AMEN SL! I am sure I appreciated my mom when I was growing up but I may not have called it that when I was little. It wasn't until I became a mom that it really started to hit me. HOW DID SHE DO THIS?!?!?!?! (I am one of 6 and one of my sister's has Autisum) Mom and Dad always told us we have no idea how much they love us. Now I get it. Now dad say's "just wait until you have grandkids, you think you can't love anyone as much as you love your kids, trust me you have more love in there." I am sure he's right!
W (me) 44
H 43
Married 19 years
DS 17
DS 15
DD 13
DD 8
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 658
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 658 |
Yes, I was the MEAN MOM and OW was the caring person who gave him a refuge from the meaness. Its amazing how much the language of sicko fogbabble has influenced his thinking. I can only hope and pray that he wakes up and rethinks that position now that he is an adult. Thanks for your thoughts, SL.  MEAN MOM.....LOL!!!!!!!!! I remember thinking my parents were being mean when I was a kid. The difference is when I became an adult I realized they were great parents. That was before kids, after kids I appreciated them even more. Sadly, I think you are right on about your son. He has been poisoned by the sicko's and unfortunately you can't change that. You can only stick to your beliefs and know you are right.
W (me) 44
H 43
Married 19 years
DS 17
DS 15
DD 13
DD 8
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083 |
Mel - October is getting close. How are things working out?
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Thanks for asking, Kayla. We are still trying to work things out.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
345
guests, and
70
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
|
|
