The lawyer has a good reputation, and he was recommended by a friend of mine who is also an attorney and who I trust completely.

I can't look for a new attorney. I can't afford it and there isn't time. The judge made it quite clear (even when we were forced to show up without our attorney because he was sick) that he would not postpone the trial again.

And with his computer in custody if he is innocent, its a good thing they have it. It doesn't matter now , the lawyer is going for the deal Fri. , and her son says he wants it. I read between the lines that he feels guilty, or at least has written some foul things that can be proven if the DA inspects the Pc.

I still don't like it that wench and her family could get away with all this crap. But the world can be a crappy place.

CP: My son still says that he didn't write the IM's. We had one night when we knew that he was going to be arrested, and my son went through his computer before it was taken, trying to find anything she could use against him or anything he could use to help his case, but he was unable to find anything. He didn't have any of their IM's saved on his computer. He didn't even have the IM program on his computer anymore at all. All of the IM's that they currently have in their possession apparently came from the girl's computer, which of course, we have no access to. It was never taken into possession by the police or analyzed. They are just taking her word that the printouts she provided are legitimate.

His life isn't over, but his past will haunt him posibily and people don't forgive very easily. When HR depts see anything they just look at the other applicants who don't have past issues. Security type posiitions just won't take the chance.

But his life is not over that is right soolee, that is a bad attitude I agree. It will be a thorn in his side.

I tried to write a menu yesterday so that we could go grocery shopping. But every time I wrote down something that I wanted to fix, I couldn't remember the ingredients necessary to make it, or which of them I may already have in the cupboard or would need to buy. I wrote down three things and sat there staring at the paper for 5 minutes, before crumpling it up and starting over. The second time, I only made it to the second item before I wrote a "b" instead of a "d" and so I crumpled that up and gave up. I went to the store and bought some buns and ice cream and now we're eating salmon burgers for dinner tonight and after that, I just don't know.

How can I plan out a menu when I don't know what my life is going to look like a week from now? I don't know how many people I will be feeding. I don't know if I will be saying goodbye to my son for a month or two years, or maybe even running across the Mexican desert, laughing at all those silly Arizonans expecting to catch people only going the other way.

I remember saying things last night to my H that didn't even make sense to me when I was saying them, and now I can't remember them at all.

I think I may seriously be losing it.

Your over analyzing of everything is paralyzing you, and it comes across as apathy to many of us.

Write out simple menu's for the week. This is what I do. Then I e-mail them to myself. For dinner, it is a protein, a vegetable and a starch. Three things on a plate are healthy and good and easy.

Buy some fruit, vegetables, potatoes and frozen chicken or beef.

Gee, Gack, I'm so sorry that I'm not dealing with this crisis in a manner that suits you. I'm doing the best I can. I'm still getting out of bed every morning. A little empathy might be nice, and if you can't offer it, kindly stay off my thread.

Monday:

Breakfast: Oatmeal and fruit
Lunch: Sandwiches
Dinner: Chicken breast, brocoli, baked potato


Tuesday:
Cereal and bacon
Salad with chicken and fruit
Hamburgers and carrot sticks and celery
Snacks: Fruit and cheese

Etc, etc..........

I wish I had more time and did not have to work 10 hours a day like I do now. At least you have time to cook, clean, and care for your family. If you choose to do so.

I'm going to try going to the store again on Saturday, when my H can go with me and help out. I will try to keep it simple. I just kept staring at next Thursday on my menu, wondering, who will be here to eat whatever it is that I fix? Will it just be me, my H, the baby, and our 16 year old? Will I be able to take my son to the courthouse and say goodbye for however long he will be gone and then come home and do something so ordinary as fix dinner. How can I fix dinner when I won't know how he is or how he is being treated? This isn't like when my daughter went away to college or my older son moved out. I knew they were okay. I knew they were happy, doing something they wanted/needed to be doing. I knew I could call them up and talk to them any time I wanted. I won't have any of those reassurances if my son goes to jail.

No one can help you with those feelings. You have to get strong and tough inside and get some counseling if you cannot deal with this. I can imagine that not knowing how things will turn out is killing you. So, for now, quit thinking of it. Thinking of it is hurting your life.

I know this is a shot in the dark...but have you tried calling up the California Innocence Project?

All they do is get people out of prison who have been wrongfully convicted. The work is also done Pro Bono.

I just can't imagine that some legal person in this world wouldn't give you a half hour of their time for you to explain the situation and offer a bit of advice. Particularly if you consulted with a group that offered pro bono work.

Who cares if it suits me, I don't think it suits you.

Don't sell yourself short. I believe if you research the heck out of the law, his charges, and similar cases,..... you could have this dismissed. (Or at least win the trial)

Many of us have dealt with, or know someone who has dealt with a similar situation. And we are telling you something is not right about how this is progressing.

We are trying to help you.

Good!

Because I'm gonna tell ya, the alternative sucks

Better than that, you have my sympathies, and my support.

I just refuse to believe there is nothing you can do about any of this.

Technically, it would be "Stay out of my thread"

And we love you too!

Here are some things that the Innocence Project considers bad lawyering:

� failed to investigate alibis
� failed to call or consult experts on forensic issues
� failed to show up for hearings

I googled "teen crisis la" since I would consider this a crisis.

Here's the Web page for a crisis center
http://www.1736familycrisiscenter.org/help.htm

They even take collect calls. And they have a youth advocacy program for first time juvenile offenders (not saying you'll need this. But it does seem like they might be a resource for you). I'd be surprised if the center had no way to support you or your family.

ETA:
Here's a link from a site on domestic violence. It's about computer safety, and how there's always a computer trail. Furthermore, they tell abused people to not use IM to try to get help, because there's a trail.

http://www.nnedv.org/internetsafety.html

Hey Writer,

Are you sleeping? I mean more than 30 minutes at a time? Are you eating? Is there anything you are doing besides all of this?

Your grocery list debaucle has me concerned. Maybe because, as a person with a diagnosed illness, I hear the old "suck it up it's all in your head" song and dance way too often. Kind of like, "I know a truck just ran over your leg, but grit your teeth and walk it off." I also know you have no spare penny to go to a doctor or get prescriptions. So I am not going to say call a psych because I know you can't.

But do you have bendryl in the house so you can sleep at night? Can you cut out caffeine? Is it safe to take a walk in your neighborhood. Would you like to email me a chapter of your novel and have me tell you how good it is (because I am sure it is, besides, all us teachers do in the summer is eat bon bons anyway!)

I am not an attorney. And even though I love Law and Order and Matlock....uh, no. So I have no idea how to help you there. But I can tell you that I can tell you love your kids. I can tell you that, as Cory Ten Boom wrote, "There is no pit so deep that God is not deeper still." I can offer to find stupid youtube stuff to make you laugh. I can tell you what size pants I wear so you can feel really skinny and sexy. I can tell you that my drinking, rebellious drug selling brother (when he was in high school) is now a successful tech coordinator for his state department, he owns a house and a car and a cute dog, and he is one of the coolest people ever.

I can tell you that when I die one day and walk through the gates of heaven Jesus is not going to say, "Hey, aren't you that girl who had an affair/has bipolar disorder/wore pants from lane Bryant/never could keep her house spotless?" I've never seen a grave stone that said "She wore a size 16," "He ran over a squirrel," "She was a tactless smart-a**."

When you are in kindergarten, you learn that 2+2=4. When you take trig in high school, they add x's and z's and all sorts of weird symbols. Grown up life is sometimes way more confusing symbols than it is 2+2, and this is one of those times.

Hang in, get my email from the mods if you need to scream (as long as I can scream back someday). Eat that ice cream. Kiss your baby. Tell your 16 year old that one day he will have life lessons under his belt that those who had an "easy" road can't even fathom. Hug your other DS's that no matter what there ARE people in their lives who will ALWAYS love them. Tell your daughter that a strange Alabama woman would love to see Alaska someday. Give your DH one of THOSE kisses.

I haven't even READ your novel, and I'm already a fan. I have probably made you gag from sugar shock, but I don't care. When I lost my job and knew the gossip around the school was flying and couldn't control anything....I longed for somebody to come beside me and be silly and obnoxious and full of encouragement I couldn't yet believe. So that's my self-appointed role.

Ok then why does he want to take the plea? Please don't say its the money or that your lawyer is doing the best for you, I don't ses it that way.

But why have a half-aZZ lawyer go to trial for you? I think your stuck unless you follow that link given you that takes 800 calls now cuase of the time table and because the judge won't continue any more.

If he is going to do the plea tommorow then you don't have time to think about it. I know this is hard and I hope it works out, just hang in there

Writer,
If you have faith in your son and he said that he did not write those IM's I would go the way of the trial.

If there is nothing to verify then let them look and then the girl will be the one who has falisfied documents

His attorney needs to believe in him. Do you know what any of these supposed IMs said?

take care

I don't know how anyone can consider IM's legitimate evidence. Unless the entire conversation is a series of screen shots, the conversation saved as a text file can be edited by anyone.

When my H and I were going through the immigration process, I saved our IM's to serve as proof of our relationship and at the time, I noticed that I could have written anything I wanted. They were just plain text files.

I truly don't get the justice system.

As printouts they pretty much ARE useless, however, with new electronic discovery processes, forensic guys actually analyze the computer files that store the IMS and read the metadata as well from those and emails. I was just reading an article about this from the American Lawyer. Fascinating stuff.