Rant/Vent:

I hate waywards.

Drama Queens/King Babies who want to stay in victim mode and suck all of our emotional support because life is so UNFAIR but they won't get up and DO SOMETHING!!!!!

Rant/Vent:

I hate waywards. There are absolutely no words in the English language to describe their vile, hateful, destructive abuse. The selfishness, the ugliness, it is unreal. It is horrible, ugly and evil.

There is little worse than destroying a family. Than emotionally raping the ones you purport to love.

I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.

Waywards suck

I'm an actual human being who made a bad decision. But I am not vile nor am I evil. I know vile and evil. I wish I didn't but I do.

After having counseled thousands of couples with hundreds of marital conflicts, I am completely convinced that a spouse's unfaithfulness is the most painful experience that can be inflicted in marriage. Those I've counseled who have
had the tragic misfortune of having experienced rape, physical abuse, sexual abuse of their children, and infidelity have consistently reported to me that their spouse's unfaithfulness was their very worst experience. To be convinced of the devastating impact of infidelity, you only need to go through it once.

Since you've had an affair, I would imagine that your wife is very emotionally defensive about the subject. It's the worst experience of her life -- worse than the loss of her son five years ago. Can you imagine anything being that bad? Well, you did it to her, and she is suffering as a result. It's all she can do to remain rational. If she were to express herself emotionally at this point, she would probably be expressing deep feelings of hopelessness and catastrophic loss. By trying to be rational, she is able to focus on the practical side of the issue.

"We regard infidelity as the worst offense in marriage. More damaging than physical abuse. And when a couple goes through a period of time when their relationship is broken, and they are not meeting each other's emotional needs, infidelity is very common. Granted, we can even patch these marriages together when the incentive to reconcile (children) is present. But it would be much easier and much less painful if you and your husband never had to go through it.

An affair is devastating to a betrayed spouse. It�s one of the most painful experiences that he or she could ever endure. In fact, most betrayed spouses cannot think of a single tragedy that is worse for them than the affair. Consider these examples (names have been changed to protect their identity)

* Nancy's father was murdered, her mother died of a very aggressive cancer in the same year. Both were very close to Nancy, and their sudden deaths were devastating to her. But she reported that the pain she suffered from her husband's affair was far more devastating.

* Cindy had been sexually molested by her father in her early teens. Yet her husband's one-year affair with a woman he met while away on business created far more trauma for her than her father's irresponsible behavior.

* Julie was raped by a stranger when she attended college. She told us that the rape paled in comparison to her struggle with her husband's two year affair with a female co worker.

* Robin was gang raped when she was twenty three. She reported that her husband�s one year affair with a woman he met at a local bar was much more difficult to overcome than the physical and emotional damage from the rape.

* Chad's six year old son died in a backyard accident. He said the pain he suffered from his wife's affair with a neighbor was far greater than the pain from his son's tragic death.

* Sylvia's younger sister was raped and murdered by a stranger when Sylvia was twenty one. But her husband's five month affair with a co-worker caused her to suffer more than the brutal death of her younger sister, whom she cared for deeply.

These are just a few of the testimonials that we have recorded when counseling victims of infidelity at the Marriage Builders Counseling Center. Scores of others have told me the same thing. A spouse's affair is the just about the worst experience in anyone's life.

I'm an actual human being who made a bad decision. But I am not vile nor am I evil. I know vile and evil. I wish I didn't but I do.

the folks who commit said acts are evil by defintion because we are judged by our ACTIONS,

Sorry Mel, I'm just not buying it. I am not evil by definition. I do a lot of very, very good things. I may have done something evil but that doesn't define me any more than all the very good things I have done define me.

I thought AA taught you to love the person, but hate the disease?

And this is a stupid conversation. I feel like I am in the land of religious zealots who in their quest for converts focus solely on sin and punishment,

I am a redemption and hope kind of chick.

I'm suggesting to the MB website designers that they put this post on the registration page. It only seems fair.

Enough.

There is vileness out there -- infants shaken to death, toddlers whose feet have been held in boiling water for wetting the bed, 11 year old girls raped by their fathers, brothers, stepfathers, or all of the above and giving birth, young women duped into sexual traffic, a 9 year old boy with 2 unset fractures of his arms and cigaret burns on his back for crying about the pain, a 4 year old girl raped vaginally and anally with a Lego penis that her rapist helped her construct, and I am not making any of that up.

I'm an actual human being who made a bad decision. But I am not vile nor am I evil. I know vile and evil. I wish I didn't but I do.

In the immortal words of princessmeggy, I'm out.

Enough.

I'm not defending myself. To compare me to Hitler is on its face stupid. I don't need to defend myself against stupid.

Maybe I'm way off on my assessment of where an A fits on the moral spectrum of evil -- personally, I think the guy who helped the four year old make a Lego penis and then raped her anally and vaginally with it is in a different league than me but I gather you folks disagree -- but anyone who compares an A to the systematic slaughter of 6 million innocent people is WAY more way off than I am.

Mel, I did an evil, vile thing. That doesn't define me. I also do good things. Those don't define me either.