I am so so sorry writer. And I understand why you are not okay. I believe that you will be....but I know that doesn't matter a whit now. You have my permission to scream obscenities into your pillow.

writer1,

Don't assume anything. Don't assume that the DA is on the side of the other family because he is talking to them. I am not up on the laws in CA, but unless it has been changed, their Victim's Rights Act requires the family to be consulted and heard regarding prosecution, at trial, and prior to sentencing. That doesn't mean the DA is buying into their side. I don't understand why your attorney is not keeping you better apprised of the process at every turn.

Writer,

Ya know, sometimes people would like at least acknowledgemnts of when someone does try to offer advice and support even when it is just simply encouragement! I fully realize they should not expect it. I realize you are very stressed and busy, but still. Just shaking my head.

Tom

I don't know what this is in reference to, but if I have ignored or offended anyone, I am sorry. I don't mean to not respond, but there is just too much going on in my head right now, and sometimes, I just can't.

Retread: Our attorney told us on Tuesday that he did not think the DA would need to talk to the family, so it can't be required by law. The DA has chosen to talk to them. Much of what we have been told by both our PD and private attorney has not actually turned out to be the case.

I'm going to take a drive now with my H and try to clear my head.

I do appreciate all of the help/advice/support everyone is offering. I'm sorry if I'm not doing a very good job showing it. It's all I can do to remember my own name at the moment.

writer, almost all of us can understand that. I have no idea why you were attacked like that by one poster at this very low point for you. Please pay no attention.

If any poster feels that their help has not been sufficiently acknowledged, they are free to stop posting. This thread is not about them.

Perhaps Jack Daniels was in the house today.

I think I am just done with this.

I have tried to talk to my son a thousand times, and I get nowhere.

Most of my questions are answered with sarcasm and anger. All I get is "I don't know." The only thing he is sure of is that he did not rape her. He doesn't know if he wrote any of the IM's. He doesn't remember. He may have written them and admitted to raping her just to get her to leave him alone. That's what he says. The IM's may be real. They may not. He may have admitted to raping her. He may not have. He didn't do it, but he might have said he did. Who knows.

"I'm screwed. Just accept it." "I just want to enjoy my last few days of freedom." "It's over, there's nothing you can do about it." "I don't want to talk to you about it."

That's all I get. He won't talk. He won't fight. All he does is lash out at me if I even try to suggest something that we could still do. "It won't work, why bother?" "AREN'T YOU LISTENING? I'M SCREWED." These are the things I hear, over and over again. I've been hearing some version of them for the past 4 months.

I can' fight anymore. I can't do this by myself. I feel like everyone has just given up - my son, the attorney, my H. I don't know how to fight this battle alone. This is my son, and I don't want to give up on him. But he's already given up on himself. I just want him to help me help him. And he won't. And I don't know what to do with that.

So basically, He had sex with this minor girl , (he was a minor when it happened too),and she is calling it Rape? Thats what I got from it all.

If it goes to trial like you suspect the only hope is you can show the truth which from what it sounds like, she lied about consenual sex and she is entraping him. The lawyer implying that he is powerless sounds like crap to me, cuz they were both legally minors when the sex was happening. Plus this lawyer doesn't sound quite right anyway.

So maybe he did say some of the things they are accusing him of, maybe he is guilty of being nasty at some point. What your lawyer hasto prove is that she had consentual sex with your son, and she is trying to get even with him.

Find aut about that law help link that talks about what you can do if your lawyer doesn;t show up in court, the one about fairness. Call them and get more help. Maybe you can get a mis-trial or something, at least you might get a specalist who will tell you what can be done, instead of the advice from the lawyer you have and us in the peanut gallery.

He didn't Rape her, right? She is making this up to get back at him for breaking up with her and dating another girl right? Its all over the internet and you have all kinds of evidence this is a "high school drama" right? Her family threatened your son pubicliy, has had incidents with the law, is know to be trouble right?

Use that information and find a way, (lawyer), to help you. Its too bad the one you spent money on has failed you but there is still help somewhere, start with that link.


If he was not a minor when this happened I would say different but he was so it comes down to the WHOLE truth in court, not to just thier version of it.

Don't let the possiblity that this lawyer was not what you needed be a reason to feel powerless or guilty. The truth is still the truth.

Half representation is worse than no representation IMO.

sending positive thoughts your way, writer!

OK, writer, I found a good-paying job for you:
http://www.salon.com/life/life_stor...2010/07/26/write_college_essays_for_cash
Maybe time to post an ad on Craigslist?

That was a funny read Ima. Thanks for the laugh.

It seems a little like scholastic prostitution. But it does make me want to go into teaching and hopefully prevent kids from turning into the sort of college students who would actually consider paying someone else to write their papers for them.

Perhaps the DA smells a rat.

Have you entertained the idea that the reason your lawyer does not want to go to trial has nothing to do with your chances, but has everything to do with the effort he would have to put in if you do go to trial?

To him, it was not financially beneficial to put in the effort it would take for a trial.

Translation = You weren't paying him enough to bother with it.

Now he may have to go to trial. This may not be a bad thing, his attitude may change now. Either way, I do not like your lawyer.

What evidence do they have against you son?

Also, once things have settled down a bit, you might try this book out.
http://www.amazon.com/48-Days-Work-You-Love/dp/0805444793/ref=pd_sim_b_2
I have heard Ramsey recommend it several times on his show.


I wish you and your family the best in this hard time.

Thanks Gack.

I actually own that book. I haven't read it yet, but I want to. Right now, it seems I have the attention span of a cricket... Hey, is that a tree?

Read the reviews!

Nothing but a printed out IM log, correct?

Yes, about 3 or 4 pages of a printed IM log.

Will the court allow, and can you quickly come up with some character witnesses?

Is your lawyer going to point out that a printed out IM log can easily be fabricated?

We have character reference letters. We are trying to come up with some people who may be able to come to court and testify as well, but I'm not sure if we'll be able to. It's very short notice and everyone works.

I hope my lawyer will point out that the IM log can be fabricated. At first, he was saying that it wouldn't even be admissible if they couldn't verify it directly from the computer, but he seems to have changed his tune about that. Now, he's saying they don't have to verify anything. I'm not sure why. He said he can request the IM record to be verified, but he doesn't want to do that, because if the record does trace back to my son's computer, then it would be even worse for our case.

The IM's were written 8 months ago, so of course, my son has no idea exactly what he wrote to this girl. He did say that she was constantly harassing him every time he went online, and he may have flippantly agreed to/apologized for raping her just to get her to leave him alone. However, the IM messages the girl produced are much worse than a flippant agreement. They are pretty damning. Several of them were written on days my son insists he wasn't even in contact with her. They broke up on the 20th of December, and he says he didn't have any contact with her until a week later, after Christmas. But the first two IM conversations are dated Dec. 21 and 23.