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Mark1952 #2407882 07/20/10 09:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Mark1952
SS,

FWIW, the Arkansas or southern Mizzou Ozarks is where I want to live. When I am there, it feels like home, more so than where I have lived my entire life.

Houses that sell for 250K and up around here are going for around 100K there. And we're talking new construction here. You can still pick your floors and cabinets.

On the other hand, it is an area that is very difficult to have a 30 year mortgage and any additional debt. In many small communities, the number one employer is Walmart. The county where I want to live in southern Missouri has as it's top employer a truck stop along US 63 and number two is the smallest Walmart I have ever seen. People in the area typically have to drive 75 to 100 miles each way to be gainfully employed.

OTOH, taxes on a 4 bedroom house on 40 acres is about 400 bucks per year so for retirement, if you can pay for a house outright, living is really cheap. There are jobs, but many of them are seasonal. Additionally, the places with the most jobs are the places I would least like to live. I don't want to be near Branson or Mountain Home. I want to be in Viola or Dawt or Dora or someplace along those lines.

We had a plan to retire that meant that we would soon have enough equity in our house and vacation property to pay off our debt and pay cash for a house. Retirement income could come from a 401K and the retirement plan at work until we both qualify for SS.

So now the 401K is more like a 201K and the retirement program at work is about 50K below what it once was and is being dissolved. Our house is down about 35K and our vacation property is down about 15K.

Health insurance just went up 35%, I haven't had a bonus in two years (it was once over 5k per year) and overtime is all but gone.

I now figure that I will be able to retire when I am 103 or three years after I die...

Whichever comes first...

Mark

Luckily for me, I am in an industry that is always hiring. The income has gone down with the economy but I know that I will find work. I need to work on debt reduction too! This little escapade on the Pacific central coast has been very expensive.


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still,

It's Friday!!! I hope your weeks is still going strong!!!! Have been thinking of you and all that you are doing this week!!!

My x and my dad were both military so we usually had the movers come, but every once in awhile we would think "ah what the heck we'll do it ourselves and keep the money" Always made it but with lots of work and lots of friends.

You are going to a beautiful area of the country my daughter lived in Benton just south of Little Rock for 2 years!!!

Take care and up date us when you can!!!

Dawn


BS 49
Divorced 10 yrs/married 21 yrs
Life is good and I am happy!
Engaged to be married on the 4th of August 2012!
30yoS&DIL & 2 gson/27yoD-Divorced & 3 gson/21yoD
daybreak #2409269 07/23/10 10:59 AM
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Originally Posted by daybreak
still,

It's Friday!!! I hope your weeks is still going strong!!!! Have been thinking of you and all that you are doing this week!!!
My week has gone so smoothly that I have packed everything that I can until my hired labor comes on Saturday to help with heavy and oversized furniture. I am actually just about out of work to do. I am going to run some errands and enjoy the beach today to kill time. Sunday is cleaning day. Monday my containers get picked up and I walk through the house with the landlord. Then, I am heading home to Arkansas. I am itching to be on the road already!

Originally Posted by daybreak
My x and my dad were both military so we usually had the movers come, but every once in awhile we would think "ah what the heck we'll do it ourselves and keep the money" Always made it but with lots of work and lots of friends.
I thought about movers. I have heard such horror stories though and I have packed so many times that I have it down to a science. When I was married, we moved a lot because of my husband's job. I moved 8 times in 10 years. This is my third move in the last year. I am really looking forward to be able to stay put and grow some roots.

Originally Posted by daybreak
You are going to a beautiful area of the country my daughter lived in Benton just south of Little Rock for 2 years!!!

Take care and up date us when you can!!!

Dawn
I know where Benton is! I used to drive through it on my way to Lake Ouachita - my favorite lake so far. I am going to be about 3 hours north of that.

Thanks for checking up on me. I am excited and ready to move. It does get very quiet and lonely around here though. I am getting a little stir-crazy. I haven't seen another person for a week. Thank goodness for telephones and the internet. I am looking forward to getting out of the house today!


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Every morning this week, I have woken up with excuses to call my ex-husband... I have not contacted him. I have stuck to my promise to myself to be in a Plan B for me. I can think of a dozen loose ends that need to be handled. They are all excuses. My actions are matching my words and intentions this week. I feel much stronger. I feel like I am protecting myself and making progress. It feels really good to be on course.


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Originally Posted by stillstanding2
Luckily for me, I am in an industry that is always hiring.
Wow. Where do I send my resume?

I've been looking for work since April and have not even received a simple, "Thank you for your application" response! I too, thought being in the IT field was recession-proof, but this economy has just added icing to the cake that my ex-wife's adultery baked.


Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
Fred_in_VA #2409555 07/23/10 11:01 PM
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Go to your nearest car dealership. Lol. They are always hiring!


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But don't send a resume. They hire PEOPLE not paper. wink


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still,


Glad that you seen yourself that they are just excuses to contact x. Good for you to sticking to plan B!!! Stay strong!!!

Have a safe Saturday, hope everything gets loaded!!

Dawn


BS 49
Divorced 10 yrs/married 21 yrs
Life is good and I am happy!
Engaged to be married on the 4th of August 2012!
30yoS&DIL & 2 gson/27yoD-Divorced & 3 gson/21yoD
daybreak #2409725 07/24/10 08:33 PM
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Two big strong friendly men came to load my containers first thing this morning. I may never enlist friends again. They came prepared to work! They got everything to fit in one container instead of 2 so they saved me a bunch of money on transportation costs too. They were super polite too. I had some time to kill today so I got in my car and ran some errands and then took a nap on the deck. I'm spackling picture holes in the walls tonight and will start cleaning up. Tomorrow, if I get done cleaning early, I may go to a movie or get my nails done. I might just do both! The container gets picked up Monday morning. I meet with the landlord afterwards. Then, I'll be on the road heading home.

Still haven't had contact with my ex-husband and it is getting easier.

It sure is quiet and spacious without tv, radio, or furniture. It is only for a couple days though. It is good to live simply every once in awhile - makes you appreciate things. smile

I'm back on track.



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I woke up feeling really lazy this morning. All week I have been fighting back this lump in my throat- tears of gratitude for friends that stand by me no matter what and family that always loves me - even when I'm lost. I don't want to cry anymore. I'm tired of feeling sad about an ex that didn't keep his promises. I'm scared and nervous about moving. But, I am far from alone. I know that I can do this. I know that I will be okay.

I called my mom last night when I got lonely. We talked about how much has changed in the last year. I told her that I would call her every night when I stopped for the day so she would know that I am ok. I shared my travel route and plans with her. I also emailed her my list of people to contact if something ever happened to me. I emailed the same list to my best friend in Arkansas since I am going to be staying with her for a week or two until I get settled in.

Time to get moving!



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I am not feeling afraid anymore tonight. I am feeling strong and calm. House is clean and ready to vacate. I will be driving home tomorrow. I may not be around here as much because it is time to get serious about living. I am tired of grieving. I am feeling at peace with my life tonight. There has been too much turmoil this last year. I have nobody to interrupt my thoughts or distract me now that I have had some time to myself. I like having time to think. I have learned a lot through this mess. There were many times in the last year that I truly did not see how I would survive the aftermath of my ex-husband's infidelity or the divorce that I never wanted. I was utterly lost. There were so many times it just seemed too hard. I feel like I am finally ready to let go of the hurt and the disappointments. I am standing on the edge of something wonderful and new. I can start to see it. I feel ready. This has been a year to learn much the hard way:

There are no sure things.
Guard what you value you most - always.
Stand up for yourself early. Don't put up with nonsense just to keep the peace.
Always listen to your gut. Your gut is on your side.
Don't take time or people for granted.
The bad times do get better - slowly.
I am so much stronger than I thought.
I am much more self-sufficient than I thought.
I can fall flat on my face and get back up and try again and be okay. It is even ok to stay down for a minute and catch my breath before I stand back up again. Lol.
It is okay to accept help if you need it.
You can love somebody with all your heart, watch them walk away, and have peace (eventually). Life can even get better.
The only person that I can make change is myself.
Words and intentions are nothing without actions to back them up.
There are no little lies.


Thank you everyone that took the time to post to me. Thank you for caring.




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ss2,
I have to say I really admire you! This seems so major to me and you are just tackling it head on! Please continue to keep us posted as to how things go with getting a new place, job, friends, etc. How exciting though! And congrats on staying away from X, don't need him! The unknown future is way better than the known past!


Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
kaycstamper #2410444 07/26/10 11:29 PM
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Thanks Kaystamper! I have just checked in for the night. I drove 542 miles since noon when I left. I got a message on my voicemail while I was driving from a potential employer in my new town. He saw my resume on Careerbuilders and he said that he loved it! I'm really excited. He wants to meet me asap.


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That's fabulous news!!! Here's to new beginnings.


Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
Greengables #2410549 07/27/10 10:15 AM
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Still going strong. Still on track. Getting ready to get on the road again. Checked my email and have another response to a job application that I sent over the weekend. Also have a friend connection interview. So, now I have three job interviews lined up for next week. They are all good jobs too!


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Good luck to you. Boy do I need a new line of work. You seem to have job opportunities falling down from the sky.

I'm an art teacher looking for full time work and believe me, employers are not out there looking for candidates. Jobs openings are often posted for a short time then filled right away.

Due to the economy schools are struggling and there are many well qualified candidates out there.

I've not posted to you before but have been reading. I wish you the best in your new life.


Formerly nam here since 07/31/03 coastal, CT
nams #2410677 07/27/10 03:51 PM
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SS2,
I too am surprised and the quick job interviews...what line of work are you in?


Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
kaycstamper #2410713 07/27/10 04:59 PM
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still!!!!

Awesome!!!! Way to go girl!!!! 542 miles are a lot! Stay focused!!!!

Best wishes to you!!!

Dawn


BS 49
Divorced 10 yrs/married 21 yrs
Life is good and I am happy!
Engaged to be married on the 4th of August 2012!
30yoS&DIL & 2 gson/27yoD-Divorced & 3 gson/21yoD
nams #2410812 07/27/10 11:31 PM
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Nams; I teach Art full time. I know the market stinks!

BC

end T/J


Me; W 46
Him; H 46

2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
barbiecat #2410819 07/28/10 12:20 AM
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Drove 832 miles today. I have been in sales for 25 years. 15 years in sales management. I have just under 600 miles left. I should be done tomorrow.

Today was hard. I have lots of moving memories tied to my ex. We moved 8 times in ten years and lived all over the country. This is my first move solo. I never would have had the confidence to do a move like this if I hadn't lived that kind of life with him. I also wouldn't have met the friends that I will be staying with in Arkansas. Everything happens for a reason.


Over it.
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