Have you and your H sworn affidavits as to the timeline above? That your son was not kicked out of the house early? That he arrived home at noon of the day following the alleged rape? Driven to your house by the girl's mother? With the girl in the car?

I assume you have given your lawyer a copy of the girl's emails, attempting to convince your son to get back together with her?

This does sound like a case where she felt spurned after they had sex so she alleged rape to soothe her hurt feelings. I would like to see your lawyer trying to build more evidence of this.

The key is to tell a compelling story. Sounds like she will have to go with "I was so traumatized, I couldn't tell my parents the next morning, so I pretended nothing had happened." He says that whatever sex occurred was consensual and then later she felt bad when he broke things off. Both stories are reasonable on their face.

The DA seems to feel that the IMs are conclusive. A writen admission of guilt. Your lawyer will have to undermine them. I hope he is computer savvy. Heck, I hope the judge is computer savvy enough to understand that IMs can be easily faked.

Writer,

Ya know what, I am sometimes a blunt person, but I know I am a sensitive person too. Have been told that. My heart now ackes for you and your family.

I am not legally equipped but I hope that one of those with a legal background shows up for you tonight. I am sure you know this, but tonight, you need to have a special and close talk with your son so that he can decide. The judge or the DA probably won't ask you but will ask him. The only thing that I can think of....and this is just based on my experience in the tax code as far as IRS cases, is that when someone insists on a hearing or trial, then sometimes the IRS attorney's back down if they feel they don't have sufficient evidence to prosecute. That is not criminal law however.

Well, I do like to hug, so, since I am old enough to be your grandfather you do have a [[[[sort of hug]]. okay. But more than that you and your son will have my prayers tonight for tomorrow. Ya know, before you go to bed tonight, just search for "Divine Mercy". okay. thinking - and no religious bent meant here - that it might give you some peace.

Other than that I cannot offer anything else.

Tom

Writer,

Just one more think, I do feel so badly as I have, but even more so now, for questioning you the other day about not responding. That was me being selfish and it was offensive to you.

Tom

Doesn't seem enough time to educate them now does it? But maybe the DA is more interested in the truth than a conviction and he will get them investigated.

Sorry, I know thats very unlikely, although possible.

My H and I were not home the morning after the incident. It was our anniversary, and we went away for the night. Our older daughter was staying in the home watching the baby and our sons. Unfortunately, she is in Alaska now, so I don't know if she could do affidavit. No one has even asked us to do anything like that.

Yes, the attorney has copies of the emails sent to my son by this girl.

I don't know how computer savvy our attorney is. At first, he was telling us that the IM conversation wouldn't be admissible unless it could be verified through an analysis. Then, he received a copy of the printouts from the DA and completely changed his tune. He stopped talking about having them analyzed and started recommending that we go for a plea bargain, since my son would likely be found guilty based on the evidence in the IM's. It seems like we're constantly being led to believe one thing, and then something else entirely happens.

Well its 3:30 on the west coast so there is still time for the Phone call that takes the plea.

I will check back later on writer and see whats up.

Prayers

It's okay Tom. I wasn't offended. I just have so much going through my mind right now. I like to pretend like I'm still functioning, but I'm not really. I don't eat much, I don't sleep well. I feel constantly agitated. I want to go to the doctor for some anti-anxiety meds, but I don't even have the time to do that.

I wish there were DA's like this. I am losing faith in this system so quickly.

The attorney is in a meeting with the DA and the judge right now.

I think I might throw up.

Writer - Part of your anxiety might be exasperated by the little sleep you're getting. One thing you might be able to do is buy some tea meant to be used before bed and taking a cool shower. Ask your husband to rub your back; that always soothes me. Might be good for you too.

Another idea, and please don't think I advocate habit-forming anything, but is Tylenol PM or something else OTC to help you sleep. My only suggestion with that is to start with 1/4 the dose. That usually is all I need, and it works quite well. I get insomnia from time to time, and when it goes on for 2-3 days, I do that so my immune system isn't compromised by too little sleep.

Heres a prayer,

Lord you said that you will be here for us no matter what happens, you also said go boldly before the throne of grace, we are there now, asking that this travesty of justice be clarified, an writers son not suffer from the evil of false witness.

Only you can heal this, and you can do it no matter what the outcome. We ask that what might be a miracle for writer but is really the truth be revealed in this situation. Touch these representatives and guide there judgement, supernaturally. Let this be one case that brings just consequences. And be with them for this young man and woman.

The conviction and faith Writer has for her son has been inspiring for us, and her humility to ask for help has shown her heart. These things will not be lost upon her son. Let them not be lost on the system, the judge, the DA, and let them guide and embolden her lawyer.

Amen

Here is the plea bargain offered by the DA and Judge:

They will drop one of the charges (probably the oral copulation) and my son pleads guilty to the other charge.

He will be sentenced to 120 - 240 days in juvenile hall. As long as he doesn't get into any trouble while he's there, he will be released after 120 days.

3 years probation after he is released.

He will not have to register as a sex offender or answer "yes" to those questions on job applications relating to felony convictions (since technically, he won't have one as a juvenile).

The lawyer is recommending that we take the plea bargain. So is our family. We are leaving in a few minutes to talk to the bishop about it.

If we do not accept the plea bargain, we go to trial tomorrow. He could be found innocent or guilty at trial. If found guilty, he would be facing a minimum of 2 years in prison (not juvenile hall), 4 years probation, and registering as a sex offender for life.

I hate being in a position where I have to instruct my son to lie and plead guilty to something he did not do, but I would hate it even more if I told him not to plead guilty and he is found guilty at trial and his entire life is ruined. In order for him to be found guilty, all the judge has to do is believe the girl's story over my son's. It's such a huge gamble.

This is so hard.

If I was your son.

And I was inoccent.

I would not take the plea.

I would goo trial.

If I was found guilty, I would file an appeal.







If I was your Son.

And I was guilty.

I would take the plea.





I am not saying your son is guilty



However, as a parent.
I understand why you want to go for the plea, even though he claims innocence. You are taking the less of two evils, and I cant blame you for that.

I believe even if you take the plea, this will haunt him in the future.

I do wish you and your family the best in this hard time. I'm just not one to give up.

When they tell me it cant be done....
I try and prove them wrong.

Do you have the money to go thru a trial and possibly an appeal if they find him guilty?

If not, take the plea after first your attorney tries to negotiate the thing DOWN. For example, he could ask for 60 days in juvi with good behavior.

Then, start teaching your son what type of friends he should hang around with and NOT to have sex with girls for a long time. The kid has bad bad judgement. Teach him please how to live a good life.

I was reading something about forgiveness that really touched me the other day. It reminded me of the pharrasees in our own minds and how pride can rob us from it. It made me tear up because it reminded me of my late wife, and how she believed. You will find it hard to see how she could have been so humble at one time to think this way if you judge her by her actions I have described in my posts, but it was one of the most rebelliuos acts of love anyone could have had as a conviction. Here is an excerpt from the article.

From an article by Lewis P. Smedes. "Forgiveness, the power to change the past"

-------------------

God offers two answers to our deepest anxieties. He is a forgiving God who recreates our pasts by forgiving them. He is a promising God who controls our future by making and keeping promises. By forgiving us, he changes our past. By promising, he secures our future.
By his grace we participate in his power to change the past and control the future. We too, can forgive, and must forgive. We too, can make a promise and keep it. Indeed, by sharing these two divine powers, we become most powerfully human and most wonderfully free....


( then the part that got me an the next page)

The only remedy for the inevitability of history, says Arendt,(Jewish philospopher Hannah Arendt, Author of 'The Human condition' Univ of Chicago press, 1958 is forgivness. She means that in the natural course of things we are stuck with our past and its effects on us. We may learn from our history, but we cannot escape it. We may forget our history, but we cannot undo it. We may be doomed to repeat our history, but we cannot change it. Our History is an inevitable component of our being. One thing can release us from the grip of our history. That one thing is forgivness.
Taking Arendt seriuosly, we have sound reason for revisting this human potential. But Jesus, far earlier, urges a still more compelling reason, not merely for thinking about but for praying for the power of forgiving. In words that some resentful demon in me would rather ignore. Jesus tells us that if we do not forgive our fellows, we should not expect God to forgive us. (Mark 11:25)
Here is even more reason, then, to try to rescue forgiving from the cluster of cliche's that often obscure the outrageously free and the offensively gracious act by which one human being forgives another..
-----------


The last part also can be applied to forgiving ourselves, and to let ourselves off the hook for the past or our mistakes or the situations we make for ourselves we find ourselves in. Those great Judges that we condemn ourselves with in the name of what we believe is right could not see everything coming. We are left with the realization we are human and sometimes victims. Our past does not have to dictate how we live in the future, at least not internally. We are allowed to forgive ourselves, even if nobody else does. This is the freedom that gives us hope, and I don't know about anyone else, but I need hope.

Yeah Bubs, I would hope the boy understands the gift he has been given and he takes accountability for his actions, not by comparing his peers, but personal accoutability. The kids he knows have probably done worse, and paid less.

I think since Writer said he was a good kid, the one kid that never gave her trouble, active in his school and allways did his work, that he will learn from this. That those good behavior traits did not make him bullit-proof from those who would hurt him, and that he is called to a higher standard by this situation. What I am allways concerned about is a reaction of bitterness and resentfulness that leads to negative attitude.

Truth is he chose badly by having sex with this girl. Why he did it remains unseen. His intentions unknown. Now he has to pay for it by addmitting an untruth. I hope that the time in juvie will even more strengthen his resolve to look at all his actions, all of them, bear consequences.

It might be a wake up call for him, a blessing in disguise, if he has the right attitude. If he doesn't deal with the injustice correctly it could turn to bitterness and a jaded outlook. Its up to him. Hes an adult now, I hope he still sees himself as a child of God after this.

I am waiting to hear what happened. I hope you have time to tell all the details to us. I understand though if you go out celibrating good news.

Hmm so that the lawyers trial stratedgy? What a loser.

Its so sad that you couldn.t fight this thing writer but the system the way it is with money running the issue, and possibly the politics in CAL lately being what they are, I can see why you might take the sure thing.

Gack is right i think about how he will regret that he had to plead guilty. I hope he can get past it eventually but this lawyer is acting like he is gonna lay the blame at your feet and provide a shoddy defense. Especially after he was talking to the DA and the judge today and all he has to tell you is they will take her word for everything. Sounded like that anyways.

Let it be a lesson to all of us and how corrupt the system is.

1 Corinthians 6:1
Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints?

This of course was supposed to refer to two people settling matters before God. But in this case, they aren't even moral people, so that was out from the beginning.

I Hope they like seeing thier daughter on "Americas most wanted" if she continues the trend. Hey thats probably gonna be thier highlight in life. When she blackmails her next victim, next time he will have more money than morals you can bet. Mom and Dad will make sure she learned her lesson.

Just left a message for the attorney. Hopefully he'll be calling back soon. My son is leaning toward taking the plea bargain. NOT because he is guilty, but because it is too big of a gamble to take with his life if we don't. The way juvenile court is set up, there is no jury and it is not necessary to prove his guilt "beyond a reasonable doubt." It really is just up to whichever side the judge believes, and that is a huge risk. A plea bargain will definitely not hurt his future as much as having to register as a sex offender. Something like that would almost certainly destroy any chances he has of having a future at all.

I believe that your son has been victimized and attacked because of who he is as a person. He probably told her he was breaking up with her for reasons she could not accept or understand, so she attacked him.

Try to think of this as an unfair society taking advantage of dumb kids and their reactions to guilt, pain, and confusion. I don't know if you have any grace in your heart for the wench, but she obviuosly has crappy parents and role models, where your son has much different views.

She probably at first idolized him, and he wanted to help her. Then he slept with her. After the rejection she fell bac on the only way she knew how to cope. Blame others for your problems, thats how her Mom and Dad taught her.

I bet she was, is , and for a long time if not allways will be confused, scared, and angry about the break-up. I bet your son understands this, and its part of his guilt. She knows she will never be what he wants and is taking all of her disfunctioal family and personal issues out on him. To her he betrayed. At one time she trusted him and he rejected her.

I bet the law sees this as the strong going in to use the weak to thier advantage, and thats the victim stance they are leaning towards, Its an old story, and even if its not comeletly true,(she has cried rape and abuse), you can't prove it in court.

I hope she eventually gets healed too, and I believe you and your son does too somewhere inside. May they both learn from this.