So all your lawyer has to say is to have your mom come and testify? What does he/she have to say about the custody proposal? Frankly, I think it's merely a ploy in order to secure the best deal possible, but I'm no F. Lee Bailey (or Judge Wapner, or Judge Rheinhold)....

"Best interest of the children" seems to be a common goal when it comes to determining custody arrangements. Your lawyer should understand on what grounds he would make his case, and why your case is stronger.

He can ask for primary custody just as much as I can ask every MB poster to send me a thousand bucks. Sure as heck doesn't mean it's gonna happen.

I'm sorry things are getting dicey. Lean on your lawyer. That's what they're paid to do -- to help and support their clients through an emotionally charged process.

TBC

Princessmeggy- No, we didn't do a home study. WH originally wanted every other weekend and one day during the week during school(which I agreed to), then he wanted 50-50 over the summer (which I agreed to, as long as DD kept the same child care), then he decided he wanted year-round 50-50 and now he's throwing in the primary custody. He's tried to call the shots since day 1 and I keep foolishly believing we have reached an agreement and then he changes his mind yet again.

And when you say I could prove he's unstable, do I do this by telling about destroying our computer, abusing Ambien (taking 7 times the prescribed amount and then driving with our kids) and smoking pot? There was also a time years ago when he was being incredibly emotionally/verbally abusive to me that I called a domestic abuse shelter and met with a lady from there in the parking lot where I worked for some guidance. Would that kind of stuff be what I would use?

Interesting about your own experience with Grandma butting in, I guess that's only normal. I know my WH's mom really wants to maintain a relationship with DD. Glad your grandkids have supervised visits, sounds like you and your DD went through a nightmare!

Thank you!

TBC- my lawyer told WH's lawyer that we would not agree to the 50-50.

My lawyer said we'd try to make our case on the fact that WH up and left and moved out of town, and DD's school is about 45 minutes away from WH's apartment now. She would be in a completely different town.

The other argument is that she would be separated from her sister (my DD from previous marriage).

The other argument is that his job requires him to be gone late at night at times (quite often) which would require DD to be with strangers a lot of the time.

I'm trying to have faith in my lawyer, however this is the same guy that just had the agreement written up saying I would pay WH $27,000 without even knowing exactly what WH was even asking for. Thankfully, I asked WH last night and he told me he wanted no $. That text I sent asking him that ? saved me over 25 grand!! I wonder why my lawyer did that.

Thank you!

It's over!!!

WH went into court saying if he did not get the 50-50 he was asking for then he wanted primary custody of DD. He got neither. I got primary and he got every other weekend, as well as one overnight during the week.

I am so relieved it's over. So relieved.

I didn't have to pay him any $$$ and my DD doesn't have to be torn from town to town away from her sister and home.

WH brought in DD's teacher from last year (boy was I surprised to see her in court today) and he also had his 'child psychologist' mom testify. And, get this, he had OW (at least the person who has been suspect #1) testify because she babysat for DD on several occasions!!!

He brought his mommy and his girlfriend to be his "expert" witnesses????

What a maroon!

A good day in court is a minor miracle... congrats!

LOL, my thoughts exactly!

OW-suspect-#1 is really young and actually used the word 'awesome' on the stand at one point when she was testifying. I wonder if the judge was as impressed with her as I was??? (not)

And thanks for the congrats, Antichick!

Good for you, SidneyT!

It always sounded like he had nothing to base his custody request off of, nor his money request. Sometimes things actually do work out.

Sid,
I'm so happy to hear the months of anxiety are over.
I decided today was the day I would catch up with your thread and started it from the beginning some time this am. Throughout the course of the morning I would read a few posts. Then, low and behold, at the end I was able to see the great news. It was like a little mini-drama for the day with a happy ending.

What a haul it's been for you.

~opt~

Hi SydneyT

I've just found your posts

I am in a very similar situation, except my sons are 18 & 21 in October, so don't have the visitation problem - just the Support Issue

If you have alook at my posts, I have a list of all the things I've done to protect my boys and I

Being Threatened - Please Help
Post Name: DragonFire

Maybe some of the points might help you.
But legally, I'm in Africa and fall under the Commonwealth Law, but I think the principals for preparing for your Settlement would be the same or similar.

My WH hasn't responded to the Attorneys Letters, so now we go to summons

Let me know if this helps you

You're right. I credit it all to prayer and God...don't know how people get through this kind of thing without having faith!

Thanks schtoop!

You're right optimism. Never dreamed my life would turn into a mini-drama, but it sure did. I guess all of our lives have, thanks to those selfish waywards. Thanks for the kind words and I hope you get your own happy ending soon too!

DragonFire- what forum are your posts under? Let me know and I'll have a look! Thanks!

Another really amazing thing that has happened concerns my job. I had mentioned a while back and that they were doing some 'restructuring' of my department and I was incredibly stressed out by the possibility of getting what basically could amount to a demotion. Money was a little tight already since WH walked out so this really added to the stress level.

I actually ended up getting a promotion and am now the Director! Nice raise included. As a bonus, the lady that had the position before me was very mean and vindictive and had been a source of stress for the entire 10 + years I'd worked there and she suddenly retired and is GONE!

Again, this is all a total God thing. He has not failed to amaze me and He has definitely worked out for good what was meant for my harm AND He has given me 'double for my trouble' as He promised He would.

Surviving an Affair
Being Threatened - Please help

I'm fairly new to this site, so I'm not sure how you get there

For Sale: Platinum and Diamond wedding band/engagement ring set....cheap!

Seriously, does anyone know where you get the best deal for selling a used wedding ring? E-Bay? Pawn Shop?

The real question is what your going to do with the money ??????

Something cool.... or something the WH would hate you spending the money on....

There's so many options......

Gives the mind something to work on ..... let us know

Oooh, great question stillcommitted!

After giving it some thought, I think I'd use the money to take my kids and myself on a really cool vacation- maybe to Disney because we've (the kids and I) always wanted to go.

The deeper significance of that is that my WH was always so selfish he only took himself on vacations and never wanted to do family vacations. This way he's finally paying for a family vacation for us!!!

As the waiter on the cruise I went on a couple of years ago (courtesy of the benevolent father-in-law )with the family would say

EXCELLENT CHOICE !!!! that was always his response no matter what I ordered....

I couldn't think of a better way to spend the money ....Disney sounds great, we took our kids out of school and went in October, no lines and cool weather !!!! was a great trip ...

Sidney...I was just looking at the recent post and saw yours...its funny, I was thinking of selling my wedding ring set for a trip to Disney for me and DS...Its sooooo worth it...It is a wonderful trip. We went last year and cant wait (or afford) to go back. I dont know where to sell my rings either so sorry I have no tips on that....Good luck.