I took chaibaby to meet his new brother yesterday. It was cute. He was a little skeptical at first, but then kept giving him kisses.

DD is now clean. For how long I don't know, but yesterday she was like a normal person. She seems to be taking good care of chaibaby2 and was very happy to see chaibaby. At one point, she had tears in her eyes and said that they made her so happy. I've learned to have no expectations though. It could change any day.

I decided to ask her why she didn't tell me that Miss Mullet came to the meeting. She said because she was afraid that I would be mad at her thinking that she had a relationship with MM., and that she didn't want to hurt my feelings. She said her dad didn't want to hurt my feeling either (nice of him). She said that she couldn't control what her dad did.

She then looked at me and said "Mom, I don't know why you are worried about her anyway, she is f'ing trailer trash." She made a jesture with her hands saying something about MM's hair and the sausage rolled bangs. Then she rolled her eyes. She said again about the tt thing and said that her dad took MM to Macy's and that she had never been in Macy's before. Hugh?

Well, now I know she is nothing like me. I'm all about the "N" word - Nordstrom , Nieman....

No mullets for me either.

So, did I feel better? No. Probably worse. The bottom line is that yes, I have more class, more education, better hair, better clothes, etc., but she's the one with my husband spending and gambling away my hard earned life savings.

I've come to the conclusion that single OWs are the big winners. They sacrificed nothing and gained everything. Looks like she's the winner here.

Anyway, not sure why XWH does not go to her state anymore. Looks like she comes here. DD said that her dad bought a crib for the new baby to use at his apartment, so he must not be planning to move and I doubt that Miss Mullet would move here and leave her kids and grandkids. Maybe so, but not likely.

OK, I need to stop trying to analyze everything and stay dark. It really is better that way.

When our kids were little, we sure didnt envision this as their future huh?

I am glad DD is clean, for now and hopefully the future. BTW congrats on chaibaby2, another boy! Hope he grows up knowing his g'ma loves him. Chaibaby1 already knows.

Chai, there is no rhyme or reason on how these WS get attracted.

The OP are big, small, ugly, pretty, fake, plastic (hhhmmm). It is an attraction of fog and fog dissipates.

Compare it to the days when we would go clubbing and the atmosphere was dim lights, plenty of alcohol, slow music and everyone looked beautiful. Then the last song would come on, the lights would be turned on and the bar would shut down. At that time you look at who you were dancing with and say what was I thinking of. Maybe you would run to the ladies room never to return.

Well the waywards are still dancing slow in the dark and when those lights turn on I would like to be the fly on the wall.

You are one very classy lady and your Ex is an idiot!

Thanks Lil. And no, never in a million years did I ever think this would happen. We had the typical teen age cr@p, but when she started college she worked, had a car, paid her bills, studied etc. Not sure what went wrong. She has a degree in Criminal Justice that she can never use now. I can only pray that the little ones make it through. I look at them and think that the chances of them ending up addicts is pretty strong. Ugh...

Hope, I don't know. Sometimes the fog never clears. The AP is able to meet all of the emotional needs, and better than the spouse, so it keeps on going. I think that's the case here. I was always wound up in my career, DD, and then my business and didn't pay enough attention to the M. You just assume that you are together for life. As I look back, my most important emotional needs weren't being met either but I learned to live with it and accept the other things that were positive. I guess I just didn't think it was severe enough to D over.

It is what it is. Now back to darkness and trying to continue working on me. I've let this whole thing consume too much of me this past two weeks and now I am practically starting from square one again. There is a reason that Plan B works if you follow it.

Hang in there Chai. You're right about Plan B. It really doesn't matter if it does or does not "hurt" WH. It's about you taking care of you.

Go do something for yourself.

Same exact thing with us, Chai. Add a H who doesn't voice any dissatisfaction, and BOOM! 30-something years into it.

We made it and I am so grateful, but wouldn't it have been wonderful if MB was a required course for everybody in high school, with advanced classes in college?

Maybe DD will stay clean this time. Miracles DO happen.

RHW

I know RTW. Mine either. He always said that it didn't matter that I made more money. He was more of the Mr. Mom and I was the career person. Never once said it bothered him.

Well, I wish we would have had MB sooner too.

Glad you made it. Wish we all could have been able to do it.

I know that you know that we can make it whether on our own, or in a recovering M.

And that either way, it's the hardest thing we've ever had to do. And we're both doing it! Hope your life takes an upswing after your latest exposure to XWH and Miss Mullet.

We all get caught up with other things and it is called LIFE.

When XH started spewing all the wayward garbage and said he was leaving I said why didn't you talk to me about all this and he said "why didn't you" and I said because I did not think there was anything wrong.

Waywards are turds.

No argument from me on THAT!

Unfortunately that seems to be a common theme around here. One spouse thinks everything is fine and the other is "not happy." UGH

I'm on the upswing now. I guess it is just a natural process to get through. I'm just glad the the down times are a lot less frequent than they were. I know a lot of people who have gone through a D and not one of them died from it, so I keep telling myself that it probably won't kill me. I'm not sure its all that comforting but I keep trying to justify it. Hey, we can learn something from the waywards. They're real good at justification.

Great post, Chai!

Thanks Ima. I get a good one off now and then.

Well, it had to happen sooner or later. DD had a run in with Miss Mullet. This is DDs story so it may not be 100% true, but she was so ticked off that I believe a big part of it.

Miss Mullet is obviously unhappy about XWH being back here and spending money on DD and chaibabies. Miss Mullet called her to tell her that she needs to be self sufficient (that part I do agree with) and that XWH can't spend money on her like he has been. The one thing that I do like about DD is that she has never taken crap from anyone and isn't about to let Miss mullet give her any, so Dd told her what she thought.

She said that she told her dad who of course defended Miss Mullet. DD told XWH that if he was going to chose the gold digging b$%ch over her and his grandkids then fine.

Not sure it accomplished anything, but Miss Mullet has now experienced the wrath of DD. You just don't come between DD and ANY source of money lol.

Of course we all know that to any wayward, semem is thicker than blood, so XWH will side with Miss Mullet.

Oh well, life goes on. STill working on getting up over that latest dip I went into to. Someitmes I think this process of up again, down again will never end. I just keep thinking of the lady I talked to a couple of weeks ago who told me that she is now just getting over it after 10 years. Yikes, I sure hope it doesn't take me that long.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

I have always said you need to go out on the road and make some money.

How's your life with G-d coming along?

Chai, I had to laugh when I read your latest post!
Think about those virtual fights, I don't know what they're called, but basically they pit one warrior, say Atilla the Hun, versus Alexander the Great, or whatever, and decide who would have won the fight.
In your case we have:
"In one corner, Miss Mullet, a gold-digging, home-wrecking ho, and in the other corner, DD, a recovering? addict with two chai babies." Who will win this fight?
In my opinion, just having two chai babies, without the addiction would win the battle....or.... just being the addict would be enough. Combine the two, LOOK OUT!!!
Glad it's not your problem!

Wish we could have videotaped that encounter.

In this corner is Ms. Mullet who comes out swinging trying to take care of XWH finances (urrrhh her finances)

In the other corner wearng the Rocky shorts is DD who is protecting her babies from the wrath of mullet and also who Daddies' finances for the good of her family.

Dodge, weave, duck...Mullet is beaten to a pulp. DD is heard yelling "Adrianne Adrianne" as she is lifted through the crowd.

lol guys. It really is funny though because DD will never hold back. I remember when she first found out about Miss Mullet, I remember her in the family room yelling at XWH and pointing out that he couldn't keep his D@#k in his pants. That was a good one.

She isn't afraid to get physical either. If Miss Mullet wants to keep her mullet, she had better learn to back off.

Her kindergarten teacher said she would probably be a used car salesperson. Back then I was appalled. Now I wish she had such a great career.....

DD - You wanna hit me, right?
Mullet - Oh, wouldn't I just love it.
DD - Okay, give it a try.
Mullet - Give it a try. Let's go, let's go.
DD - Bob and weave, honey. Bob and weave.
Mullet - Who dresses you anyway? - Okay, okay. Try it. Okay.
DD - Stand still, you little biotch. I'm gonna bash your little WASP brains out.

(Quotes actually taken from the movie Outrageous Fortune, but I thought they illustrated well how DD would handle mullet biotch)

then after DD beats her to a pulp, she could drive her to Wallllllmmmmmaaarrrrtttt to get some bandages. Ms. Mullet's favorite (only) store.