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Mulan, this is a book that could practically write it's self! Please feel free! Men need to realize that they are completely transparent when they act this way, and that "playing stupid" and pretending they don't know what flirting and sexual come-ons are only leads to damaged and destroyed relationships. The only ones they're fooling are themselves - which is why it's so destructive.
Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
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I think women are attracted more to powerful men than "pretty" men. I agree. "Status" is to women what "big boobs" are to men - an attribute that can make them forget everything else about that person but still fall for them. That can explain why women sometimes go for high-status men (in any field or circle) who otherwise look like trolls, and why men so often go for the brainless bimbo who has nothing else to offer.
Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
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He does this within 10 minutes of telling me how he did not want to be her friend and that he had been warned about her being a predator. HE LIKES HER VERY MUCH
This follows a month or so ago about him wanting the personal email of a WW here so he could help her off the forum.
He thought he could mentor her. GM, there are NO excuses for this behavior! What others "think" of you no longer matter. The ONLY person on this earth that matters is DWG. Frankly you are very lucky she is still there. My H's 2nd OW was and IS a DiD. She is IRL a incompetent female who has relied on men to do everything for her. We watched (from a distance) her implode a couple weeks ago because she has had to handle getting OC registered for kindergarten all on her own. There is no ex H to fall back on and my H is learning (still not there 100 percent) NOT be pick up the pieces. Honestly it is no wonder the current W's of her two Ex's don't trust her. H said she cannot hold onto female friends for the same reason.  
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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That can explain why women sometimes go for high-status men (in any field or circle) who otherwise look like trolls Why are you bringing up Larry King?
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I remember during a MC session my then WH telling the C that I didn't "need him". This was the same man that after his first A pushed and pushed and PUSHED me to be "independent". The same man who didn't "want to be needed".
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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You are SO right about this. Just out of curiosity - how many of these men that you know are divorced? Or if not divorced, just happen to have horrible crazy wives? Many times, wives that think they can do no better, and in that way are abused, desparatly believing the gaslighting and blaming themselves until the pain gets too great. Then H sometimes get stabbed if women don't get the help they need to get away, most of the time they just are heartbroken and need help to heal away from the Man. Then there are the idiots that think its there job to "service" the troubled woman and don't want more than that. Kinda reminds me of the guy Bill Paxton plays in "True Lies". If you have never seen it you should, its classic. Its a sad sitch all around.
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That can explain why women sometimes go for high-status men (in any field or circle) who otherwise look like trolls Why are you bringing up Larry King? 
Me 56 Former BS Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years. 4 children DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4 Me former BS DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr DSs 26 and 23 Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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I remember during a MC session my then WH telling the C that I didn't "need him". This was the same man that after his first A pushed and pushed and PUSHED me to be "independent". The same man who didn't "want to be needed". "You need to be more independent" very often means, "I've got other women waiting who want my help and attention and YOU are in my way." Be VERY careful if you ever hear that.
Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
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You are either "too needy" or "you never needed me." And, these "reasons" are inter-changable, depending on the circumstances. You, the BW, can be both in the SAME DAY ! Narcistic anyone?
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I can't find a youtube of Paxton on the bridge. You'll have to see the movie.
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Men do this because they can. Because they've decided to have no boundaries and because they've told themselves the lie that being a hero to some helpless hot chick makes him a Great Guy and it's just harmless nonsexual fun.
There's nothing you can do, Scotty, with a man like this. You are either "too needy" or "you never needed me." I fell in the category of never needing my xH. This is probably a bit off topic, or opposite the topic... ...I was brought up by a single mom, working her tail to the bone. Mom told me when I was a teen that I had to do for myself because nobody else had to, or in some cases, would, and that MEN LEAVE. I always thought that needing a man's help was a BAD thing. I rarely would allow a man's physical help, and only teachers were allowed to teach me anything. Otherwise, I felt belittled or talked down to, which was unacceptable. There has got to be a happy medium there, hasn't there? I'm seeking it now. Is it even ok to say "I need you" anymore? I dunno 
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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There has got to be a happy medium there, hasn't there? I'm seeking it now. Is it even ok to say "I need you" anymore? The key is DESIRE. A Man (husband) can be very happy with a wife who DESIRES him. *wink-wink* *I DESIRE YOU* can be a very powerful ego stroke to a husband. It goes further than "I need you" .... and *DESIRE* is way sexier 
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The key is DESIRE.
A Man (husband) can be very happy with a wife who DESIRES him.
*wink-wink*
*I DESIRE YOU* can be a very powerful ego stroke to a husband.
It goes further than "I need you" .... and *DESIRE* is way sexier ITA unless you have a man with an unhealthy need to "people please" regardless of age, gender etc. BTW, OW #1 was a PRO at making my FWH feel desirable. She called him "hunk", "stud" and a many other things I always felt foolish saying.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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*I DESIRE YOU* can be a very powerful ego stroke to a husband.
It goes further than "I need you" .... and *DESIRE* is way sexier Ok, Whew! THIS I can do...THIS is what I was trying to accomplish in those false recoveries...WANTING my H, with passion and desire. Wanting his help, wanting his presence. I would be a terrible DiD 
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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DESIRE plus ENTHUSIASM <~~~ killer combo
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Wayzilla played the DiD card to a tee. But underneath the Disney princess gown with bluebird cathedral length train attendants was in reality a gold digging, wrecking ball destroyer of marriages.
Gollum played the selfless Lancelot living in a loveless sexless marriage to Agatha, the soul sucking sea hag. Of course he was by now a three or perhaps 4-time adulterer.
It was the perfect storm for adultery.
From Gollum�s BxW�s email to me in March of 2007:
�Just to give you some insight, this is not the first time that Gollum has picked some gal at work to tell his troubles to and have a �relationship� with. When Gollum worked at XYZ, he picked out a gal to confide and tell his troubles to and became �good� friends with. This person was going through a divorce with her husband at that time and feeling very vulnerable. Their relationship progressed to phone calls day and night, seeing each other before and after work and who knows what else. I found out about their relationship and confronted him. This incident almost destroyed our marriage. However, we sought counseling and struggled very hard to make it a healthy relationship again. This was not the first incident either. There was one before that revealed in counseling.
Sorry to say, this is a recurring pattern with Gollum. He picks out someone who is feeling needy and vulnerable, gives her attention, tells his trouble to and becomes "buddies� and whatever else happens in between.
I was in the same type of situation when he met me. I had just broke up with a guy that I had been in a 5-year relationship with. Gollum was there before the dust settled to help me through it all�..After he is tired of Wayzilla he will move on to the next woman that �needs� a shoulder to cry on and in turn listen to his troubles. He gets bored after a while and does not like to deal with the maturity of relationships.�
Sound familiar?
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Last edited by silentlucidity; 08/16/10 01:12 PM. Reason: Had to add my wonder woman wearing braclets puking emoticon
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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That can explain why women sometimes go for high-status men (in any field or circle) who otherwise look like trolls Why are you bringing up Larry King? My first thought as well!
BW-me-56
FWH-GreenMile-62
Married 1982
2 wonderful grown sons
D Day #1 4/1985
D Day #2 10/03/08
D Days continued for a while.
Started real recovery 07/15/10
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All too. []
({:O<<<<<<
[] Edit Reason: Had to add my wonder woman wearing braclets puking emoticon Long time no see! []
({:08<<<<<<
[]Much better than the Wonder Woman with bracelets lactating emoticon .
Last edited by chrisner; 08/16/10 01:47 PM. Reason: Grammer much poorly.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Long time no see!
[]
({:08<<<<<<
[]
Much better than the Wonder Woman lactating emoticon with bracelets. 
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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