aww.....faithy...i'm good sweetie. i just never talk about it. i am still doing all the things i love and then some. its the life i've been given...i am going to live it for all its worth. prayers are always good though...lol

how ya been?

It's 7.20pm here now - so I'm all locked in

My youngest son has gone for dinner at his girlfriend - down the road - here that's 5kms away!

Unfortunetly crime here is horrific.
I have an 8' wooden fence with a 1 meter gap then a 15 strand electrified fence (12000volts) - with buried 8' spikes between the 2 fences.
Burglas Bars & Security gates on every window & door.
Motion sensor spot lights, cctv cameras!

That's Africa - & in big cities The Norm. C Max Prisons could learn something from here

Our cars have anti-hi jacking systems and window film protection, because at traffic lights, 'they' hit your window with a spark plug, which shatters the glass to steal your cell phone.

It's also common for armed robbers to try and get into your property & they shoot 1st!

Nice Place!

So you can feel 'a little' sorry for me!

But hey, it's what I know and where I live - and it's beautiful countryside with the most exquisite sunsets and weather.
I also have wild jackal who breed in my stream, porcupines, hedgehogs ad I even have a small bucks 'spoor' (footprints) in my arena, but haven't seen him/her

Scary

Just had a call from our Community Security, to say there are 5 armed men in our area.
They have been active between 8 and 10.30pm - so they are patrolling!

At least I know the Security is around my area!

I'm sitting all alone typing away to you

One of my favorite speakers is from your country. He's a PhD in zoology, and held several positions (including dept. head) at the University of South Africa Capetown (if memory serves). He was an evolutionist college science professor who became a creationist, and he now travels the world giving seminars on science and the Bible. In one of his talks, he discusses the situation there, and how uncertain one's security and possessions can be. I believe in angels,and all that, but it would still seem a bit spooky to me to be in your situation. You're a brave lady.

tl

Hi tl
They say South Africa's not for 'sissy's'!
It has it's good points - you can go ANY where in the world and know how to look after yourself.

I'm from the 'Economical Capital' way North East of beautiful Cape Town, Lots of wealth and even more poverty. Just like any really big city.

About zoology, I'm watching a programme right now on the Galapagos Islands - strange place

I certainly got that impression from listening to him!

tl

I've got a friend who had an armed robbery.
'They' shot her, whilst laying face down on the floor. The bullet went through her upper butt, through her stomach, ricochet off the floor back into her and then around her intestines.

She survived, after 1 month in ICU and 3 weeks High Care. She's just had reconstructive surgery to close her abdominal muscles.

She's late thirties, divorced with 3 daughters.

She's 1 brave, lucky lass!

When I saw her a few minths ago, she was living back with her folks and having councilling.
I must call her and see how she's doing, just been a bit pre-occupied with all my 'things'

It's been awhile since I listened to that particular lecture, but if I remember correctly, one of the big things is that you can't count on the legal system to be on your side. I hope it's different in divorce cases than it is in criminal cases, because it sounded like the bad guys got away with a lot.

tl

I think divorce is different, as far as I can gather, from friends.
In fact my Dad sent me a clipping from the newspaper,on Sunday, saying they had opened up more 'lower' courts for Divorce & Alimony etc, so now if you have an amicable settlement you can go to a Magistarial Court, not High Court. Which will speed it up. But, as I said, I'm learning fast

It's the criminal side that's overloaded, and so are the prisons.

The Police are overloaded, understaffed and all that, so we have a lot of Private Policing, but they can't 'process' criminals.

We also have hundreds of access controlled estates, like little walled villages, everywhere. I don't live in one, but have spoken to a few Estate Agents to see about buying a property in the one nearest my son's school.

The only thing I know about South Africa is what I learned from reading Coetzee's "Disgrace." Quite an eye-opener of a book. You are much braver than I am. Have you lived your entire life there?

Hi writer1

No, I was born in Zambia, just near DRC border. I came down to S.A. as a boarder to school at the age of 10. My folks moved down south, when the trouble escalated up north.
I naturalised when I was 18, and finished my education here.
Then... met my WH, who's S.African...had my 2 boys...and have lived in the same home for 25 years.
My folks and brother both live in a suburb 10kms south of me. My brother divorced about a year ago.

Zambia was a LOT more rural, but no less dangerous. There was a huge ethnic problem, so 'white' people were targeted.

In S.A, now it doesn't matter what colour you are or where you come from or live, you are a target. Ordinary people living in the low cost government housing developments are 'attacked' just as much as others.
But in the Main Shopping/Retail area, it's pretty much the same as any city in the world. Our Malls are the same as the USA both Outlet and Normal. I know that some of our malls are nearly as big as the Philidelphia Mall - I get lost!

I've been all over Europe, England and the USA, so I know what it's like around.
I was the S.A.Agent for a very big carpet mill in Georgia

Strangely enough, I sometimes feel safer walking and working in Lagos, Nigeria, than I do here.
I don't know any 'white' people who walk on the roads, it's just not done! I know that sounds racist, it's not - I don't see colour - just good or bad.

But it's how we live, just be careful, alert and know the risks

It's 11.20pm here, so I really need to go to bed.

I want to ride early tomorrow, before the lady comes to cleanse the house.

So I'll be back at about 7 am my time - around midnight your time.

Have a great afternoon and evening.

But, please keep the posts coming, I love reading all you have to say, and I really enjoy answer your questions about living here.

well the sun is just comming up here....and hopefully you went riding! i realized i am out of coffee...not a good omen for the day! lol capuccino it is!

Hi Nikko

I've had the Most Wonderful Morning!
My eldest son's room & WH's study were cleansed - everything feels so much lighter!

No - didn't ride, my right wrist decided to seize! I'll work on it later & ride tomorrow.

I'm an (English) tea lady, but do enjoy a good cup of Cappacino

DF - just catching up on your thread. You sound like you're doing well. South Africa just sounds amazing and scary all at the same time.

I've heard the crime there is terrible, but to hear it from someone who lives there is something else -

Anyways - sorry to hear about the wrist, hopefully tomorrow is better!

Hi Vibrissa

It's SO good to see your post.

The wrist - well that's just my MS having a moment.

I'm really feeling a lot stronger.
I instructed my Attorney to drop the Protection Order & Credit Card. After the 6 hours of hell in the witness stand last Friday, it's just not worth it.

I've just read the letter my Attorney is sending to his, telling him this & to Please try and settle everything as amicably as possible - Mostly for my Boys to HEAL.

They are my prime and ONLY Concern - they must be able to see their way forward & WH is still their father.

His choices of affair & money was of his own free will - he made his choice.

I've had a huge amount of help - on line & friends - & I can honestly say, that even though there are still 'horrible times', they are getting fewer and I can even laugh now.

There's still so much that is undecided. Do we stay in the house, or move? I have Estate Agents coming this week to look at our house & to see what they have in access estates.

But other than doing what I can, I'm leaving it up to my Attorney for the divorce and the higher powers for his own healing.

I still really need all the chatting on this site - so PLEASE, don't abandon me yet!

Is your solicitor the one who does your general work, or is he someone who specializes in divorce cases? Law is kinda like medicine these days. General practitioners, who are good at everything, aren't really an option. Are you giving up your access to his credit card? I can see giving up the protection order, but be very sure you can make it before you relinquish any financial support Mr. DF can be required to give you.

I LOATHE coffee. I content myself with being withdrawn and surly for the first hour or so after I get up, as a substitute for coffee. Works for me...

tl

Hi tl

I've dropped the Protection Order Case. On the Credit Card - I've put it in the safe, haven't given it up, but I'm not going to be accused of abusing the facility. He will know that he's responsible to pay his dues. I've submitted my Financials to my Attorney and I've received a copy of the letter he sent to Wh's Attorney.
Basically it says that it should be amicable, or only the 'legals' get fat!

My Attorney does specialise in divorce. He's of the 'old school' and has a wealth of knowledge & advise.

As I said earlier -
He had the affair
He took the money
He must take responsibility for it.
I know he's 'trying' to make out that he's the victim, but that's his problem

I am OK! I just want closure.

Oh! - forgot! Seeing the 'face' Doctor on Tuesday. My GP says that he can do some simple non 'cutting' procedures to rejuvenate my tired old face!
I need to feel better about how I look and the downside of riding is the sun.

So the body's not too bad - I've put on some weight and now 110 pounds. If I fix the lines on my face, I'll start feeling pretty darn good!

I know WH has called the boys, which I'm happy about. I don't want to really know what they chat about, just that they are.

I wish I could go without my morning tea - but it's like brushing your teeth - you just have to!

I had the Most Wonderful day today

I claimed 'our' old bedroom as my OWN!
I spent money - which I know I shouldn't have (yet/ settlement) - on:
New Duvet set, sheet, pillowcases and a PURPLE Bed Throw - I'll give the old ones to hospice.
New Bins, Toilet Brush, Towels, Laundry Basket, Soap Dishes, Toothbrush Holders!

I took down all the old artwork - I hung a very favorite 'wild horses' print above my bed, moved around 1 or 2 other pieces.
Brought in side table to either side of the sofa, put in pot plants, candles, vases. I even hung my 'costume' necklaces on every mirror frame - including 'his' in the bathroom.

It feels So GOOD. I even allow the dogs to sleep on the bed with me - they don't snore that loudly, but can 'cloud' the ozone!

I brought more plants into the house, shuffled a few things here & there.

But! My Trainer is mad with me, because all the unusual physical work has caused my WHOLE back to spasm & as you know, my right wrist - Oh Well - It was WORTH every ache & pain!

My Attorney got a response from 'his' to say he had forwarded my letter asking for a 'Quick Settlement'.
Oh, I hope he sees sense and does that.

I have set him free - on the road he chose, of his own free will - I AM OK.

Where have you all been yesterday & today - I feel like I'm floating out to sea - I really would love to hear from you!

I'm so pleased for you. I'd love to stay around and chat but my husband is getting ready to haul a load of our stuff out-of-state to where we'll be moving...and there's nobody left at home to help him but me haul things onto the trailer. So I guess I'm a mover today. Sounds like you did yours yesterday. Good for you!

tl