my wife told me last week that she wants a divorce, and she is moving 2 and half hours away to live with her mother. she doesnt want to go to court, she wants me and her to decide on who gets my 2 year old son when. She said i could have him every wed,thur, and fri and everyother weekend, but the problem with that is i work wed, thur and friday so i would have to put him in daycare. also if it is not in writing she could change her mind at anytime. she would be living with her mom in a 3 bedroom trailer with her mother, moms bf, wifes brother, wifes daughter and my son. so a total of 6 people. she doesnt have a job down there, but is lookign at working at a daycare. if she works at a daycare she still would have to pay for my son and stepdaughter to go there and i dont see how she could support a family down there, but she is a good mother to my son. I make pretty good money, have a house, live in a good neighboorhood with great schools. i filed for divorce w. a restrainign order so my son can not leave the county i live in. i did not tell her i was doing this b.c im scared she will pack up in leave asap. my lawyer said we could most likely make it wear my son has to live in my county. is this the right thing to do? my wife doesnt have a job down here eaither, and i know she wouldnt leave my son. i love him to death and i dont want to loose him eaither. please give me some opinions. thanks

First of all, your wife is very likely having affair. Secondly, I think you did a good job getting a restraining order. Now, I would have just filed for legal separation if I didn't want a divorce, but I don't know your situation and the laws in your state. I'm very glad you stood up and protected your child from getting taken away from you. Now, go find out who she is having an affair with. Depending on what state you live in, this could go a long way for spousal support which you don't want her to get.

First, I'm so sad and sorry for your situation.

Keep us updated as things progress.

Why does she want a divorce? What's been going on?

As far as your son, I don't know why the restraining order was necessary. In divorces with custody issues, it's often stipulated that the spouse who has more custody cannot live more than 50 km away. ??? I guess it depends on the state? I thought that was customary though.

Also, the daycare issue, well, if you end up with full or joint custody, daycare is a reality. I make $2600/month and pay $1300/month for my kids to be in daycare. And I only receive $500/month in child support. You do the math. It is just a reality in our country.

Your post just makes me wonder what's going on in the background. Why would she go live with all these people in a trailer park? Is this marriage able to be saved? Did someone have an affair? A drug/drinking issue? Abuse?

QUe Paso?

Smart getting the RO. TS, getting someone back after they've left, is very difficult. Custody agreements usually take months upon months to get through the court. And it really depends on the state. It is much easier to prevent them from leaving to begin with.

Besides, this STBXW is obviously not thinking. There is no way to do 50/50 or even 40/60 custody when parents live 2.5 hours away. It may work at little when the boy is 2-4. But, as soon as he goes to kindergarten, it becomes impossible. So, in less than 3 short years, it will be back to court.

No, you're doing the right thing. Your son needs both his parents and they need to be close enough by so that he can see them. If she doesn't care enough to do that, than you get full custody. The only exception would be if she was in a very, very specialized career and had to move for a job. Day Care doesn't fit that.