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Joined: Nov 2008
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I dont think that it is that people think it is a big deal...I am sorry to say kayc...I think the pain just has to run its course...have you thought about seeing a psych and seeing if you can get some ADs just to get you over the roughest part? I am so sorry you are going through this..I know what the pain is like. It will get better though, with time.....


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
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Originally Posted by stillhere8126
I dont think that it is that people think it is a big deal...I am sorry to say kayc...I think the pain just has to run its course...have you thought about seeing a psych and seeing if you can get some ADs just to get you over the roughest part? I am so sorry you are going through this..I know what the pain is like. It will get better though, with time.....

I agree....it is just a process that you have to go through. I feel for you though.

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Keeping busy helps. Alone at night is the hardest time. Call friends. Get out of the house if you can. Go to a funny movie or an action movie. Make as many plans as you can. Clean things. Organize things. Get rid of things that remind you too much (I know you can't get rid of your fridge. Lol). Keep a journal but focus on the positive things. Dwelling on the negatives won't help you feel better. Exercise. Do what works for you. You just have to get through the nights. Mornings are always a little easier. Keep eating. Keep trying to sleep. Keep getting through the days. They will get easier.


Over it.
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thank you for your replies. I went to a Karaoke event last night with friends and even sang, my first time to get up there! Today I went to a Blues concert in the park and a Harmonica contest it was a lot of fun. Tomorrow I have church and I'm on the Worship Team, so that'll occupy some time. I may go9 to a Jazz Concert tomorrow night with a friend. I cleaned house all day and defleaed the house and dogs, did laundry, cooked, etc. So I've been keeping super busy. I've gotten rid of all of the reminders that I could (can't throw the truck and dogs away LOL). I agree, it's a process and it'll just take time. I guess this is a lot like a divorce only without the legalities. The death of hopes and dreams. The death of a relationship. The loss of someone who used to be there for me, used to listen and care (or so I thought), used to help me with things like cutting kindling and replace my patio screens. The loss of my companion and best friend. It's up to me to fill the void, it won't happen overnight, it's all a process.


Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
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It sucks that he couldn't even say goodbye to your face -very cowardly if you ask me. I'm sure he was a great guy. He didn't end things in an honorable way in my opinion. I believe that he probably saved you a lot of grief down the road. The way that he broke up with you is a huge red flag for your future with him. If he wants to make up with you at some point, I hope you remember how you feel right now.

I am glad to hear that you are keeping busy. It is all you can really do. I have been praying for you. smile


Over it.
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Still Standing,
I would be a fool not to keep in mind what he wrote to me, how he went about delivering it, and the fact that his mother was chosen EXCLUSIVELY over me. Those are huge symptoms of what is wrong in our "relationship". Nope, it's over.
I had a great time this weekend. I performed my first Karaoke, went to a Blues Concert that was terrific, and a Harmonica contest, and attended "Church on the Mountain (Warner), it was spectacularly beautiful! I attended with Jim last year and my late husband a few years ago so wasn't sure how I'd do, but every time memories came to me, I pushed them back and tried to stay in the moment. The more time that goes by, the better I'll be. Even have a couple of guys interested in me (don't worry, I am NOT interested in anything except friendship! However it assuaged my wounded ego). All in all I think I'm doing pretty good considering...


Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
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I'm glad you are feeling a tiny bit better. It will get better.


Over it.
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So what are you doing this week to keep busy and keep yourself on track? Have you made plans for this weekend yet? You know that the weekend is typically tough. Have a plan!


Over it.
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I am going on vacation next week so Sat. I will be cleaning house, etc. as usual, Sun. I have church, no special plans though. My son is finally done working on his friends' house (he basically gutted and rebuilt it) so he may be around a bit more.


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What do you have planned for vacation?


Over it.
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I'm going to go visit my sisters in the city (I'm in the country)...my little sister has an itinerary for us (she's a planner), hope I can keep up with her!


Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
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Have fun!


Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
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kay,

Let us know how things go!!!! LEt go and enjoy!!!!


BS 49
Divorced 10 yrs/married 21 yrs
Life is good and I am happy!
Engaged to be married on the 4th of August 2012!
30yoS&DIL & 2 gson/27yoD-Divorced & 3 gson/21yoD
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Thanks, I will, I'm leaving tomorrow!
Couldn't get on line this weekend, my electricity was out, don't know what was wrong, it was the whole town!


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Hey KC,
How's the vacation going?


Over it.
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SS2,
The vacation was fine until I came home last night, it was horrible. I was anxious to get home and see my dog, Arlie, so I left and when I got home, my son was gone with his dog, Skye, and Arlie was in the pen. I started to bring some stuff in from the car and when I went to put it in my bedroom, I stepped in dog poop. So I put on some different shoes and took the other ones (my brand new sandals!) outside and hosed them off. Came back in the house and stepped in some more dog poop. Went outside and hosed off my other shoes and my feet. Came in the house and did a thorough search on my hands and knees for more dog poop (it matches the carpet exactly) and found more and cleaned it up, also some vomit. Washed, vacuumed, and sprayed the carpet. Took me a couple of hours (I don't have a carpet cleaner, just me on my hands and knees), in the process, got poop on my jeans. By now I'm disgusting. Throw a load of towels in the wash. Arlie is really sick, eyes all droopy, obviously doesn't feel good and grumpy to boot. Called my son, he said Arlie didn't eat this morning. That's very very unusual. Discovered my washing machine dumped an entire load of water onto my floor. Called my son and he said not to let it get under the floor. ????? Too late for that, it's through the walls, in the flooring, probably clear next door by now. Used every towel in the house to soak it up. Mop is useless. Had to pull the washer and dryer both out to clean it up. By now I'm covered with dog fur, lint, poop, vomit, my jeans are soaking wet, I'm a real mess, and the doorbell rings. Open the door and it's the neighbor guy down the street (the one that's kind of interested in me?? Or should I say was?) Sounds like he's had a day like mine. Anyway, it's just been a helluva night, and I'm so worried about Arlie. I got someone to take my place at church, they had a full day scheduled and I came back to be here for it but I can't see me leaving Arlie for all that when he's sick, I want to be home with him. He really acts like he's not feeling good at all.
Anyway, I got to sleep after midnight and Arlie's woke me up a couple of times and now he just wants to be in his pen, which is pretty weird. I know I need more than 3 1/2 hours sleep, but...

I'm still mourning Jim and now I'm dealing with my poor sick dog all alone. I fixed him some bland food and am giving him Immodium, if he's not improving by Wednesday, I'll have to take him to the vet. I know my boss won't be thrilled with me taking time off right after vacation but it can't be helped. There's too many things that could be the cause and I don't have a clue.


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Yuck. Ewww. I'm so sorry. I hope your dog gets better soon.
(((((((((((((KC)))))))))))))))))


Over it.
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Ditto what still says!!!!

But did you have fun with your sisters?

Dawn


BS 49
Divorced 10 yrs/married 21 yrs
Life is good and I am happy!
Engaged to be married on the 4th of August 2012!
30yoS&DIL & 2 gson/27yoD-Divorced & 3 gson/21yoD
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I did, we hiked, shopped, did crafts, talked, ate at the Cheesecake Factory (yum! split 3 ways), and I still managed to lose two pounds, yay! Sisters are fun!


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Sounds great! How is the pooch?


Over it.
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