Poor Walmart, having to be associated with that twat!

One of the funniest things I have ever read on here!!!

Hi CL,


This 'pearl of wisdom' caught my eye a few posts back.....

...and, yes, it really is!

...and you are doing the 'two steps forward, one step back' very nicely.... keep going....

If you do the math, you ARE, in fact..ahead!

Chai,

I'm seeing a couple of things in your recent posts. First, a good sense of humor! That's extremely healthy and very helpful. I know, though, that it often just covers the pain that lies beneath. Yet, at the same time, it can help a great deal in your healing.

I've poked fun at the things about Drac that at the same time hurt so much! Sometimes after the laugh, I cry. Yet, as time has gone on, it's more often that I laugh and just move on. I would not necessarily say that I'm 'happy', but it's several steps up from Sad.

That is progress!

I also see you knowing more about the Affairage & the details of their lives. While Drac has moved on to Ho2, it feels to me no different than when he was with Ho1. I think it's just that in the minds of people who have not been through what we have, there is this mental timeline that they believe is totally fine to say whatever they want to say when it comes to the EX. In their minds, more than enough time has passed that we 'should be over it'. I endure hearing about Drac & the Ho WAAAY more than I am comfortable with.

So, do what you can when you feel you need to in order to limit the amount you hear about them. It doesn't have to be a big deal - if the subject comes up, just say to DD (or whoever), "Let's talk about something worth our breath" and change the subject.

You are doing great my friend. Give us an update on the job and your life! Any new classes on the horizon?

Checking in. How are things, CL?

Hey SD. Thanks for checking in.

I am actually doing pretty good. I found a buyer for my store so all of that is over and done. I had such a hard time hanging on with all of the debt from the A fallout and the D. Don't know how I made it as long as I did. Well, yes I do - I drained my retirement account. Of course, minus the chunk I had to give to the adulterer.

Anyway, I have two jobs now. Both are really just part time but I am hoping one or the other will lead to full time. Funny, I now work for two different Seattle companies and I live in Ohio. Queenie and JT, are you listening? Does this mean anything? Is it a sign?

Anyway, the best news is that my DD has custody of both children. I still can't believe it. I took them for doctor appts today and she called me before I got there telling me how cute she had them dressed, and how happy she was, and how much she loved them. She said that this is what she was meant to do. From monster to angel.

I haven't let myself get too excited because she IS an addict and things could go South at any moment, but it's something I never thought I would ever see. Chaibaby loves his little brother so much that it is almost an obsession. He is constantly hugging and kissing him, wants to help feed him, burp him etc. My DD can barely get the baby fed.

XWH hasn't come around too much since Miss Mullet called and told her that he couldn't come and spend money on her anymore.
Can you say "wussy?" What is it with these waywards who can't see past the OPs motives? Unbelievable.

Anywho, life is looking up. I escaped bankruptcy, paid off a lot of my debt, have two jobs, Dd is doing well, chaibaby and chaibaby2 are both great, the dog's seizures are under control, I have health insurance now , and I had a clean mammogram. Colonoscopy here I come. Hot d@mn! This could possibly be what recovery looks like. If I could just get rid of those periodic down days I'd be better.

Hi Chai!



I sure HOPE so!!!!

So glad to hear that things are going better. You are quite a fighter Chai, even if you didn't know it.

Maybe we will see you in Seattle soon.

Chai, I am so happy that things are going so well for you, you deserve it....

Chai,


FAB-U-LOUS update! I'm so so happy for you!



From the outside looking in, it sure looks like recovery to me. The real question,,,,, The ONLY one that matters is, Does it look like/feel like recovery to YOU?

You are an amazing woman, my friend. I see even more good things coming your way! What a wonderful, shining example you are!!

Have a great weekend!

((Chai))
So happy to hear your good news. It made my day. To be honest, I was just about to take a long break from MB after reading some of the other latest updates. There are several people here who are playing "victim" and refuse to do the heavy lifting that is required to recover their lives. Yours is an example that you may not recover your marriage, but you darn sure can recover your life. I know it was a long process for you, and there were plenty of bad moments, but you hung in there with grace and strength, and you are a beacon for us all. I hope others will learn from you. I've given up on trying to help others for a while.
((((((((Chai))))))))

Chai, SO happy that you've found a buyer for your business, your DD is managing to care for the babies, you've got work AND health insurance, plus all those other things.

What a turnaround!

Yours is the most incredible story of fortitude and grace under pressure. You are truly an inspirational woman. I pray all goes well for you from now until forever. You've certainly earned it.

RHW

Ok Chai,

Get up from your computer and walk over to the closest Mirror...Gaze at the reflection...

Repeat after me: I AM A GODDESS!!!

We need a rainbow after all of the stormy weather.

Also forget Seattle...too wet and cold this time of year. Don't you want to bask in some of the sunshine on a sunny island?

Of course i could tag along to Seattle? Could use a little vacation!

Glad to hear things are going so well, CL. I'm sure selling the business was bittersweet. And especially glad to hear you have been able to watch your DD with her kids. That's awesome. Hope it keeps up.

Thanks to all of you for the vote of confidence, but I really haven't done anything that the rest of you haven't done. I just may be a little ahead of you on the path, but we all pass through the same traffic lights. It's just sometimes we get caught by a red one that sticks. We either run it or wait for it to change, but we all get to that final destination somehow.

And though I hate to say it, time is the key. The more miles you travel, the harder it is to see behind you. Heck, there are days where I even forget what my XWH looks like. In fact, a co-worker of XWH took a picture of him and sent it to DD this weekend. Since she was in the car with me she showed me the pic and I don't think I would have known him if she hadn't told me what was coming. It was weird. He was heavy and had white hair.

Anyway, I appreciate all of the support.

And Ima, DON'T LEAVE!!!!!

Hi CL,

Great great news. Enjoy. Life is full of surprises, isn't it (or is it what we make of it)?

Take care.

So true, Chai. I feel so many miles from where this all started; I think at some points I was even being dragged along with the car, like my coat was caught in a closed door or something

It will be sometime before I don't know what the Z looks like, because he video chats with DS8 every week. Even then, I try to avoid looking at him. Once DS8 gets how to connect to the chat better, I will be able to go completely dark again. It's funny, you would think I would be able to accomplish that from 2500 miles away. Sadly, no.

I think it's hard for people to hear that it takes time. I knew it to be true, but when you are in the midst of all of that devastation, you want a quick fix. It's just not possible, even if you ran away from the wayward at first sight...the pain follows you.

No one can understand this journey unless they have travelled it. Oh my gosh, the emotions, the turmoil, the stress, the anxiety, you name it. It does feel as though you have been dragged by a car. You are so funny SL.


Well, as they say...you will show up wherever you go. We have to deal with it. There is just no getting away from it. No quick fix, as much as we would like. The scary thing is...I've heard people say ten years. What!!!! I sure hope I'm ahead of this thing before 10 years.


Luna!!!!! Good to see you. WE want an update girl!!

Hi CL,


So, might as well enjoy the ride CL, is what I say!

I think you are doing just GREAT.... only look back to see just how far you have come.

Take care.

Just stopping in to say hi, thinking of you...I hope everything is going well and that your holidays are happy.

Wow, has it really been that long since I've been here? I guess so.

I'm doing pretty good these days. In Dec., it will be two years since the D was final. After I sold the business I paid off what debts I could, then went through a tough financial period until I finally got a job in Feb. It isn't at the salary I used to be at, but considering that I was out of the industry for several years, I am not complaining. I'm just happy to be able to pay bills. I'm working on getting back on my feet slowly.

My DD is doing well. She is DD29 now, and suddenly acting like a real adult. She has chaibaby and chaibaby2 and does really well with them. She finally got away from the baby daddy and he's now off with someone else and she is pregnant. It will never end because there is no responsibility there - the govt. pays for his sexual escapades. I'm sure he will end up with multiple kids with multiple women. They can't get child support out of him because he has nothing to give.

So DD is trying to get her life together, but unfortunately she made really bad decisions that will prevent her from ever having the life she wants now. She is a single parent on welfare and I don't know if that will ever change. She has a degree, but with a couple of arrests she will never get a real job.

XWH calls her every few months. Miss Mullet will not let him see her much because she doesn't like it when he spends money on her and the kids. So DD doesn't see him much. He brought Miss Mullet to town recently and DD says she's gross - trashy with yellow teeth. DD can't stand her and makes no effort to hold that back. Evidently he didn't marry her. Kinda makes me wonder why we went through all of this if he wasn't going to marry her. Seems like a waste.

I have triggers now and then, especially when DD talks about him, but I just have to deal with it. I haven't seen or heard from him since I saw him in court two years ago, and I don't really ever expect to see or hear from him again. This Xmas will be 5 years since Dday. Seems like forever ago.

Hope everyone is doing well!!!