Thanks Hope and NP, its good to have other strong women acknowledge the struggle we are all going through.

Today was definitely a better day, too busy at work to wallow in self pity and sadness. This job has definitely been a godsend and help to keep my mind off the sitch.

Thanks again MB community!

You're welcome Mymissy. I wish only the best for you. Stick around though, we need all the help we can get to get some newbies on board.

Scotty, I have to say - you are a MB rock. I think you have shown more strength, courage, and grace.
Keep strong.

I agree with the same statement for you!

Thanks Hope, I more often than not - do not feel that way. But its nice to know that what I am showing and demonstrating are strength, my DstepChildren need that example.

I was a mess at the beginning. There are still days I feel like a phantom limb is missing and it hurts. We are human.

You are an example for your Dstep children and they are extremely lucky to have you while their own father is a wayward.

Mymissy, when you first got here, I was in AWE of how level headed and rock solid you were. I was simply amazed. You continued to show your strength time and time again. I understand what you mean when you say that you don't see it yourself. Whenever people would say it to me, I would thank them but not believe it on the inside. I KNOW all of the weak moments that I have. I KNOW my lows. The reasons that we are strong is because we keep doing the right things in spite of those lows. It is easier to cave in, BUT it is NOT better for us.

You are a shining example for those Dstep children of yours and it shows by the fact that they WANT to hang out with you. You are an amazing and wonderful person(Hope, you're not too shabby yourself).

Stay dark and keep creeping forward. Even when we crawl, we are getting somewhere else.

Thanks Scotty, it is still all so sad. But forward creeping I go. I move again in 2 days; 60 miles north of A-land. Sunday I will let him pick up the vehicle. He has refinanced the house and in a few days I will sign off on the mortgage. (I won't sign the deed until the D).

He has managed to lose 1/2 of all that we worked for the last 12 years, lost all his friends, lost the respect of his children, halted his career and the upward climb he had been doing, gained 3 very young children and 1 POSOW who has her hand out, and lost the the respect of his co-workers.

I have continued to move forward, unfortunately it also meant going forward with the D, in this case. It has seemed as though every step to try and halt the A, pushed them closer together. I simply thought it best to walk away and allow them to implode when the dust settles.

Did my plan A work? I don't know, but I think it will have an impact later. Did my plan B work? For me yes, I have become a better person. I am figuring out my life, and I am definitely seeking some peace and recovery for myself.

We will come back together, I know deep in my heart I would like to think so; but I also don't know where I will be if that happens.

I am babbling again, thanks Scotty, I am creeping forward and trying to stay dark.

Thought I'd give you my prayer for you...in song.



Please smile...God's got plans for you. You are certainly more than just Mrs. stbxh.

Mr. Wondering

No problem. I know that your Plan A DID indeed work. The fact that it had no known affect on your WH is NOT what matters most. Your own personal strength and growth is the most important part of anything. I wish you the best of luck in all of your future adventures. I can't wait for that moment when you look around and LOVE where you are and who you become. You are amazing and my life is truly better for having met you(albeit online ).

Look around at how far you have come already, by yourself and see the changes. See that even a small change effects the big picture. Celebrate your achievements and your accomplishments. Stay dark and you will get better and better.

Gee what a coincidence, this is my ringtone on my phone! Every time my phone rings people who hear it start to laugh.

It came out when XH would get viral at me in correspondence and I would email back..."I pray for you". Always brought a smile to my face.

A friend of mine sent me this song a few months back, I still laugh when I hear it and watch the video.
Thanks MrWondering.
Hope, it is definitely an appropriate ringtone.

Hey MM,

You are doing great! What an example to others here and I am sure in the future you will be able to give great advice to other plan B'ers.

I hope you do stay in your step kids lives, sounds like you're the best mother, or parent really, they have!

I thought I read you are in Ohio, where are you moving to? I am from the Toledo area...

I am from the Ottawa area and am going back to there for now. I work in Findlay and BG.

Small world.

Yes, true! My nephew is going to BGSU and loves it!

Good luck with your move,

ba

Mymissy, have a great weekend!

Thanks Hope,
Well I am moved; I am now 60 miles north of A-land. Today I return vehicle for good. No more switching.
The peace is kind of overwhelming, also knowing that I will not run into either of them or any of the family is kind of weird.
I think I almost got used to that heightened state of drama and now don't know what to think.
But now I guess is truly for plan B to go super dark and I plan to work on just me.
I have a vacation planned in 1 month with all my friends to Jamaica; which should be a fun getaway. Also, now I can focus more on the job.
Thanks for the encouragement MBer's!!!!

Well, I got the notice in the mail at the end of last week. The D will be final in mid-November.

I am still in shock at how this has all turned out. I would like to somehow make sense of what has happened; I can't.

Hi mymissy, just catching up.

First so glad you made the move. Missed seeing your post about it.

The timing for the vacation could not be better. It is strange to go without your WH the first time. I found it lonely but this past vacation to Bermuda went much better. We both deserve peace and serenity.

I know how shocking it is to see it in black and white the date of the D. I remember when I got the final papers in the mail and just cried and cried in the bathroom so DD would not see me.

No words of advice but blessings and prayers coming your way.