Consider that he need not be at the birth for you to foster a relationship between them. Baby girl won't know he is there...but YOU will. If you have confronted by the birth, I would NOT let him be there....first he doesn't deserve to be and secodn it will harm you emotionally.

I've given it much thought and I'm seriously fine with him being there. It's a c-section so it's not as if I need a coach. No matter what he's done to me, he is her father and I wouldn't want him to miss that moment. It's highly unlikely that any confronation will take place before the baby comes.

I have many requirements and those are two of them!

Anne,

You haven't responded to the question about why does getting the finances in order take so long? One to two weeks would seem sufficient.

You might want to check with the rules of the state your in if you plan to use the infidelity as cause of the divorce. A lot of state say that if the spouse knows of the affair and they allow their spouse to live in the home, then there is some agreement/complicity to the affair and it can't be used against them.

All the best,

ba

I'm not going to discuss my finances any further than I already have. I've done the math and I know what it will take for me to feel comfortable. Suffice to say that one-two weeks doesn't even come close to the time I need.

I've already researched the divorces laws of my state and am taking them, as well as the advice of my attorney, into consideration. I'm confident it's going to work out for me and that I will be in a better place once this is all done.

Anne,

I meant no offense but it seems you have it all under control.

I'll bow out, good luck to you.

ba

BA - I'm sorry if I was a little harsh. I didn't mean to be. I do appreciate your thoughts and advice.

Hey Anne,
Anything new on the snooping front?

Hi there. It's been pretty quiet. He is really busy at work and will be all week (I confirmed this). He did lie to me last night and told me he had to go do some work when he actually went out to dinner at a local pub. The amount he spent indicates that he might have gone alone but I am hoping to confirm with the VAR when I can exchange it. When he goes with other people, he likes to pay so I doubt he put his half on a credit care. But it could have just been drinks which would have explained the amount. Anyway, I'm sick right now so the snooping might have to be put on hold for a bit since I have limited access to his car. I'll do what I can though.

Bottom line is he seems to want time away from me very badly. Which is just crazy to me becuase I feel like we never have time together. I guess he counts the time he spends watching TV while not talking to me as time together but I don't. Anyway, little does he know he's likely to have all the time away from me he wants in a year or so.

Thanks for checking in. It's always nice to hear from you.

Anne, everything ok?

Hi beginagain! Thanks for checking in on me. Everything is okay, kind of status quo. WH has been busy so things are a little quiet right now. I'm very busy with the things in my life that I enjoy so I'm doing all right. I'm planning and preparing but taking time to enjoy all the blessings that remain. Life is still good and it will only get better.

Hey just thinking about ya...wondering how things are going for you

Hi Sapphire!

Thanks for checking in. Things are going pretty well for me. I'm super focused on my future and am doing things to make me happy. My baby is due to arrive in a few months and I can't wait!

As for WH, things are still status quo where he is concerned. But I'm dealing with it and making the best of my situation. Not every day is a good one but most of them are. A few months ago, I didn't think that would be possible. Still a long road ahead of me but it gets a little better every day.

While nothing about my situation has changed, I am turing the many negatives into positives and working it all to my advantage. All in all, I guess you could say I'm pretty happy and know that my future holds even more happiness (even though I don't exactly know what my future will bring to me).

Thanks again for checking in. That was so nice of you!

I'm so glad that you are happy! Just keep us updated on the baby ok? We are excited too! LOL

I will be sure to post the baby news when the time comes. I still have about two months but am feeling like she might come early.

Here is a funny little sidenote that those of you who know my situation will appreciate. I found out that the pictures Dirtbag sends to WH of the women he is "seeing" are fakes. He sends WH pics of MUCH more attractive women. I've seen the real photos (I hacked into DB's email account) and there is a HUGE difference! I guess many of you were right and that DB really is trying to impress WH!!! Thought some of you might get a kick out of that. I know I did!

That is hilarious! Wow. And just when I thought it couldn't get any more ridiculous with the two of them.

Hope you are doing ok Anne.

Hi SW! Was thinking about you and planning to send you a PM to see how you were doing. I hope all is well with you too.

Those two are funny, aren't they? WH was asking DB for his advice the other day because he thinks one of his FB friends is interested in him and wanted to know what he should do about it. Stuff like that still hurts a bit but it's so pathetic that it's comical! Really shows me a lot about who WH is as a person and reinforces in my mind (and heart) that I am doing the right thing. I roll my eyes behind his back a LOT!!!

Send me an email if you want to chat more. I would love to catch up!

It's been a while. Hope you're doing ok and that everything's progressing nicely with the baby. Give us an update soon!

Hi KaylaAndy!

Thanks for checking in, that is so nice of you! Everything is going GREAT with the baby! I had an ultrasound and got to see her again yesterday. She's doing just fine. Now I'm hoping she will wait until the scheduled c-section date but I guess she'll decide when she wants to make her appearance.

Everything else is status quo. Not great but getting better with each passing day. I did hear WH tell Dirtbag a few weeks ago that he was going to "play the my wife died card" and tell people he was a widower when he took my sons away for the weekend. Yep, stuff like that still stings but I get over it much easier than I used to. Mostly, it's just proof of how pathetic they both are and how I will be better off without them in my life.

Anyway, the next year is going to be full of ups and downs but I feel well equiped to deal with whatever comes my way (and have many of you on MB to thank for that). I will post as soon as I have baby news as well as any drastic changes in my situation (because at some point, there WILL be drastic changes in my situation). Many thanks to all of you for your kind words and advice!

How long are you willing to sit there and let your husband lie and cheat?

Just getting worried that you will have no love for him and just play the Plan FU card.

Unless you are happy what your husband is doing?

Glad that the baby is healthy, just not glad where you are at with your marriage.