W and I are attempting recovery and it is going slowly and crazily!<P>We've been out 3 times as a couple and 3 times with the kids. It has been good with the kids except it cost me money as she doesn't bring any. The times we have been out have been like blind dates.<P>It makes me feel like I'm the geek trying to date the prom queen. I try to do everything to please her and am rewarded with handholding and some kissing. I guess it may be to early to just be relaxed with each other to just enjoy each other.<P>I have noticed today that she is starting to open up to me just about general thinsg that people talk about. I made a point of this in a lat counseling session so I guess thats agood sign.<P>She still gives mixed signals though. On Sun nite in a one hour conversations she told me: she is enjoying living alone; when she moves home we should redecorate the house; we should sell the house and get a smaller house and yard; we should move from the area and start all over; I should date and see if I could find somebody that could make me happy.<P>She wonders why I don't reply these things, how do you process all this ? I just let it go and then wake up in the middle of the nite and then become depressed the next day.<P>I decided the best way is to try to do things that i enjoy with her and let the pieces fall were they may. I'm not lovebusting, at least I don't consider them lovebusters but she may. She is seeing the counselor with me but doesn't want to talk to any others about her self esteem problem.<P>I guess I can only do what I can and she has to make a choice whether she wants to come back to me and the children or stay away and only see the kids on a part time basis.

RWD - You are doing a good job and know you are doing all you can do. I agree that your wife's "confusion" is a positive sign. My H went from being quite clear there was no hope to a lengthy state of confusion before the fog lifted and he returned. Right now take good care of those little ones and yourself.<BR> Simone