Is your lawyer a pit bull? I think you need one. At least one of those terrier types that clamps down and doesn't let go. I haven't been worrying about you because I'm moving, but now that you've posted an update, I realize that you haven't been here for awhile. Sorry about all your hassle. I hope you can clean her clock. And get your $$ reimbursed. Surely, if they won't make her give it back, all those "extra" $700 monthly payments could be applied towards any alimony she might receive. Good luck.

tl

Thanks for checking in, PSU biker, prayers are headed your way.

Thanks for updating.

No wonder the OM has not dumped her. He's happy to live off of her 70G.

If you wanted DD to go to private school don't let WW to convince you otherwise.

Feel for ya PSU. Its very painful removing the infection your XW has become from your life.

I hope you have a good lawyer too.

Hang in there..

Can you film the hearing. It would be awesome watching her face when the judge decides against her. I so hope this works out for you Psubiker!

Take good care of yourself....{{{{PSU}}}}

I can relate to the panic attack. The first one I had was back in 2004, at work...I too passed out.....

My prayers are with you......

And if ANYONE deserves a great outcome....its you!!!

Not2fun

For the same reason that good women get the cheating mean demented men!!!

Special place in he11 for your exWW, PSU. Prayers.

When is your hearing? Isn�t your lawyer having a field day with this?

ditto!

Hey guys,

PSUBIKER almost became another statistic of the fallout from affairs. It all started last Saturday morning. After DS7's soccer game, I had walked up to DS7 and POSOM told me "Sorry, it's not your weekend. You can not talk to your son". At that point, you could imagine the anger that was boiling in me. As POSOM and DS7 were walking, I was walking alongside them asking DS 7 about the game. POSOM kept saying "See? DS7 loves me more than he loves you. Why don't you grow up and get out of the kid's lives. "

Finally, I reach where exWW was (she was with DD5 at another field) and told her that her BF has zero right to tell me that I can not talk to the kids. Of course she does not believe me but that is not surprising. I'm so hot I leave and miss DD5's game.

So, later that night, I'm out with some friends. I go home, and I start drinking some more. I look at my bottle of AD's, look at a bottle of Tylenol PM, and I end up taking everything. As soon as I do it, I'm like WTF did I just do?!?! I start trying to puke them up, and I text a buddy telling him what I did and call 911. The last thing I remember are the responding officers asking what happened and me somehow telling them about the pills. This was around 3am Sunday morning.

I finally wake up. It is around 9pm Sunday night. I have a tube in my throat, 3 IV's going, wired like a computer, etc. A cute nurse is asking me my name and tells me I'm in the ICU and whether I know why I am there. I tell her I can't believe I did what I did.

I was unconsious for close to 18 hours. I ended up staying in the hospital for 4 days this week. They were mainly concerned about my kidney functions after taking the AD's. Luckily, my numbers were good and they don't see any damage. The attending physician was very mum on how bad I was until he checked me out and said I dodged a huge bullet.

While in the hospital, I talked to one of their psycologists (someone who deals with suicide attempts for a living) and went into the last two years. He flat out told me my sitch was one of the worst cases of systematic emotional abuse he has seen in his career. He gave me a clean bill of health in terms of future attemps - he had told my parents that when someone is very remorsefull after an attempt, their story never changes and my story (what I could recall of it) matched the notes from the paramedics, dr's, nurses, etc. Plus I was my normal self once they took the tube and catheter out. The ICU nurses are VERY good at their jobs and did a great job in helping me deal with what I did.

He also got me into an outpatient counseling program for abuse victims as well as general counseling. He was very understanding and helpful. One thing is the AD's may have played a role too. I've noticed over the last couple of weeks after I started them that my moods still swung wildly but my downs were a lot lower than before. Between that and the alcohol, it probably lowered my inhibitions to the point where I did the unthinkable.

I do feel like I dodged a bullet. I'm disappointed in myself for what I did but this should also be a lesson on how close people can be to losing it and paying the ultimate price. I've lost all the muscle definition to my legs - the AD's were breaking down my muscles and they were affraid of kidney damage from that. Plus, I lost my friendship with the lady friend of mine. She has had a lot to deal with too and I understand where she is coming from. Plus, I can't be concerning myself with any potential future relationships right now anyways as I have a ton of work to do on myself in the coming months.

I am SO glad you're OK. And glad you realize that you dodged the bullet. Take care of yourself, you hear?!

tl

PSbiker, sorry that you reached down that deep.

Work on yourself and keep your chin up. Blessings.

Some ADs actually give you thoughts of suicide. They put it right in the commercials. Take care of yourself.

I'm sorry to hear about the breakdown with the other lady. Breakups need time to heal.

The irony of the attempted suicide is that there was a time that we were concerned that your ex would try to knock you off. Their tactic of psychological warfare is most effective.

Do not expect support from your ex. Past history shows how deeply disturbed she is. Were she to hear how hospitalized you were, I'm sure she would have rejoiced.

I gather that you are not a spiritual man. I propose that you are under spiritual attack. I recommend that you approach a Christian church for support. Your situation is much like that of Christ, maker of the universe, then killed by his subjects.

The devil is trying to poison your kids minds against you. Endure. You need God's love to do this!

OMG....

Bless you, PSU.

I agree with Imagine.

In addition to whatever else you are doing, perhaps you also need to be in absolute "no contact" with your ex and certainly POSOM....your abusers. Consider alternatives to never seeing or speaking to either of them again.

Mr. Wondering

Don't give up PSU. What POSOW said to you was absolutly intended to produce do what it did. I would be seething. You took that anger and frustration in and it had its effect on you.

If you did what in most peoples eyes a normal reaction, beat the crap out of him. You would be in jail. Your kids need you around for when the chickens come home to roost later on in life. Those two can spin yarns to the children now and play God, but God promises the truth will come to light, and you will help them to see it someday when they are ready and grown up enough to make a choice. We ALL need people like you in this world.

What was said by ouch about ADs is absolutly true. I personnaly start puking and have massive diareha when I try to take them, and the aggitation and desparation level my Son had when he came off them was intense and bordered on violence.

Get your therapist and/or shrink to re-evaluate your need and what meds your taking. There is nothing like a good therapist you admire and respect to look forward to helping you cope and it took time to find a good one for me. Sometimes they just listen, sometimes they are a friend who reflects back to you things you need to hear, but they can be good friends and help you back. Find one that is good for you and keep looking till you find one who clicks. You will know it when you find them, trust me on that.

I was just plodding along giving up on finding a good one when I stumbled into the one I have now so don't give up. We all respect and care for you here and you have helped many ppl. We all need help sorting out the Bullchit occasionally. No man is an island unto himself. Don't try to handle it all alone, we wern't built that way.

I agree you were attacked spitually. Don't know what your background is in Christianity but if it was bad I assure you it wasn't from Gods heart. Maybe its time to give it another chance and/or seek a bible study that gives life. There has been plenty of people who have used God and spiritual law to keep us in bondage or promote themselves and we are forced to sift thru them to see Gods love for us instead of condemnation.

You are man of discipline and upright in your life. Satan would love to hurt you because you reflect those things. Learn how he has allready lost the battle PSU. Your an awesome guy.

CP, Mr. Wondering, Imagine,

A lot of food for thought. I am in no way what you would call "religious" or "spiritual". HOwever, I have lived my life like I was not because someone said to do it that way but because of who I am.

As for the AD's, I am convinced they and the alcohol played a huge role. I started them about three weeks ago and I've noticed I was a little "off" with them.

Here's something really funny about the exWW and my time in the hospital. I had my mother call her and tell her I couldn't help her out in an emergency with the kids last week since I was in the hospital. The next day, I get a call in my room and the nurses desk asks if I would take a call from my BIL. Then a few hours later, my phone rings and I pick it up and it is the exWW?!?!?! I'm like how the heck did she get past the call screener at the nurses station? SHe then called me the next day with 20 questions!

{{{{{{{PSU}}}}}}}}}

I am truly sorry.....my prayers go out to you.....

Not2fun

So sorry to hear about your recent situation PSUB. It's truly awful.

Please tell me that your xWW has no idea why you were in the hospital? Those two sociopaths would certainly try to use this situation to their advantage somehow...probably trying to say that you are an unfit father. I highly recommend you keep this info under wraps and make sure that she doesn't find out. It's for your own good....