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I am a lawyer by training, so I am skilled at finding discrepancies in what people say. I have highlighted in OW's text to WH that which is not consistent with what she said in her e-mail to you:
1 more thing and your stalker girlfriend will leave you alone for the night. I want a sleepover for December so as we discussed I will go ahead and book a room if it's okay with you...sexy room! Love Peebs xoxo
Your WH knows he was caught and is now trying to damage control and is asking OW to assist him by sending the e-mail she did. The explanation she gave is something teenagers do, not grown adults. Continue your exposure using that text as your basis - share the text with everyone as your proof of the affair. When WH and OW try to explain it away with the ridiculous story OW gave in her e-mail, no one is going to believe them because it sounds so immature and ludicrous.
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another email!
Jeanne,
I don't blame you for not believing me, after what I let him talk me into doing. Please don't read anything into my saying sweetheart or sweetie. I say that to EVERYONE. It's just who I am. Part of that is a southern thing and part of it my mother. She addressed everyone that way. Still does. Because texting is our only form of communication really, we have texted a lot. We had 30 years of catching up to do. Most of our converstations are about you, your boys, my family and what paths our lives have taken over the years. Bobby talks very fondly and lovingly of you. He has since day one. Mis-trust issues are the only issues he's mentioned to me and I'm sorry that this is not the first rodeo so to speak, but it's also not the second or however many. I have missed him, I don't deny saying that and I'm not gonna lie and say I don't love him, I do. But only as a friend. Really.
I can't apologize enough. I just want you to know you don't have to worry about me at all. My only intentions with your husband are honorable ones. We've never crossed that line in the past and certainly now that we're both married with famlilies, have no intentions of crossing it now. I feel horrible that our being re-connnected has caused strife in your family. Not how I wanted this to be. Your husband loves you very much. You're a lucky girl. Somehow, I think you know that. Jinxie, listen to us. Print that email and the other one. Put together some of the most damning texts. Give yourself FIVE MINUTES TOPS to do this. And the CALL HER BH WITH THIS!! YOU HAVE GOT TO EXPOSE THIS RIGHT NOW!!!
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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This is why the APS (affair partner spouse) should be told first. What a steaming pile o' crappola!
Yes, I smell the STRONG smell of gas.
Light a match and throw it under her a$$.
Call her husband IN PERSON. Send him a voice mail, text, email and billboard. You have nothing to hide or feel guilty about.
Just send the H his own wifes WORDS,,, you do not have to elaborate anything. (but I shure the hell would)
Not only do they think you are gullible, they obviously think that you are stupid, too.
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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Please don't read anything into my saying sweetheart or sweetie. I say that to EVERYONE. It's just who I am. Part of that is a southern thing and part of it my mother. I'm southern, too. I don't call married men "Sweetheart" or "Sweetie."
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After that second e-mail, I am VERY sure OW is very concerned you will tell OWH and Lucy will have "lots of 'splainin to do." They are trying to convince you nothing is going on so you wont tell her husband. My XH and his OW pulled this on me - gaslighting me into believing nothing was going on and it was all my imagination, that they were just old friends who had reconnected on the internet. After I had solid proof of first an EA and, then, a PA, they tried to gaslight me into believing they ended it. Guess what? XH left me to go live in the country where OW lives. He claimed he was living at his Dad's house when he was actually living at the OW's house. When he finally moved back to the States, what did I find in stuff he had at my house? A videotape of him and the cow having sex. They really thought I was stupid!
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I agree with Prisca....I have lived in the South for 20 plus years and do not know anyone who calls another person Sweetheart or Sweetie unless its someone with who they are romantically involved.
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How does this woman THINK you are going to respond?
"Dear OW,
oh yes, please come to my home for a visit! I will make the bed fresh and place rose petals as a path from my front door to the bedroom for you! Only we both know >wink, wink< that this is all in jest and fun!
-- hugs and kissees, BS"
...ok, maybe you should not write that to her...
You have every right to get fired up over this. You are fighting for your family and way of life. Have you read about PA? You can fight for your M without becoming abusive. You need to not only play your cards, but become the one dealing the deck.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. But you have a tremendous ammount of power available to you now. Now -tap into it and use it.
Last edited by barbiecat; 11/03/10 10:07 AM.
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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Not only do they think you are gullible, they obviously think that you are stupid, too. And you are about to prove them wrong. You're also about to do something else if you expose this now: kill the affair DEAD. The OW has made it clear that she is worried that you will tell her H. Expose, jinxie. This A will be dead by sundown.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Okay her BS now has everything and he is not a happy man. He is absolutely disgusted and apologizing to me............ omg Everything is bs otherwise there would be no hidden cell phone turned off so I don't hear the incoming text messages, massive inconsistencies everywhere............gag me she doesn't deny she loves my WS!!!!!!!! after 30 fricking years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I am so pissed right now!
Last edited by Jinxie; 11/03/10 10:17 AM.
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Please don't read anything into my saying sweetheart or sweetie. I say that to EVERYONE. It's just who I am. Part of that is a southern thing and part of it my mother. I'm southern, too. I don't call married men "Sweetheart" or "Sweetie." I'm also southern, and while I do see some women call men that, I cringe when they are not old enough to be my mother. And I notice that not every woman does that. I've also seen men call women "Honey" and seen the women cringe.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Did you speak with him directly Jinxie? I hope you did. That is the best way to handle this.
Be ready for your WH to blow his top and say all kinds of nasty things to you. He is gonna be ticked off! You have taken the crack away from the addict. This will eventually pass so please try not to let it get to you.
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also take care of yourself. You are still recoverng and just had a tremendous emotional blow. You did a good job of counter attacking, so you SHOULD be exhausted. Be kind to yourself.
Do not engage in a fight with your H tonight. Leave a note and go to a family members house, the movies or shopping-- anywhere to stop the pressure to fight. He is a- goin ta be honked.
When you have thought this through and had time to plan, then engage your H.
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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Okay her BS now has everything and he is not a happy man. He is absolutely disgusted and apologizing to me............ omg Everything is bs otherwise there would be no hidden cell phone turned off so I don't hear the incoming text messages, massive inconsistencies everywhere............gag me she doesn't deny she loves my WS!!!!!!!! after 30 fricking years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I am so pissed right now! Please tell us what happened - I'm not clear on her BS 'having everything.' Did you tell him about the texts and emails? Did you tell him they were planning to meet? Did you give him contact info for you so he can call you back if necessary? Many BS's are in a state of shock after exposure. He may not have absorbed everything you told him. Please make sure he has a way to contact you. This serves two purposes: He can immediately call you if your WH contacts his wife. And he can call you back when he's calmer and more able to listen to your story. Next: Now you can respond to OW's flaky, self-serving bullsh-- emails. Do not get into a conversation about what she was, or wasn't, doing with your H. Email her back and tell her this: "If you are not yet aware, I have been in contact with your husband and have given him texts and emails that discloses your affair with my husband. You are to never contact me, my husband or any other member of my family again. I will immediately contact your husband if you do so."
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Yes I spoke directly and he is absolutely stunned. I gave him my # and also copies of texts and the emails. I need a nap! My blood is boiling.
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Yes I spoke directly and he is absolutely stunned. I gave him my # and also copies of texts and the emails. I need a nap! My blood is boiling. Good girl! Have you heard from your H yet? Make sure you email Little Miss Sweetie back and let her know that it's Game Over.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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HANG ON TO THAT CELL PHONE!
Do not give it back to your husband.
You can get a SIM card reader -- and view the content of ALL of their texts for as long as he's had the phone!!
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Jinxie, this is a really tough thing that you've just done. You need to rest - I forgot that you're recuperating. Yep, your H will more than likely be fit to be tied. He'll blow himself out though. Your M can survive momentary anger, but it can't survive an ongoing affair. If the two of you are able to talk relatively calmly tonight, I would suggest you do so. Let him know that you will not sit quietly by while another woman steps in and destroys your M. He may spin this, call you vindictive, jealous, crazy - whatever. Stay calm. Let him know that you will do whatever it takes to save your M. He may threaten to leave. He may actually leave. He'll eventually be back. Without OW on deck he has nowhere to go and no one to turn to. He may also threaten that you've dealt the death blow to your M because of your 'crazy' actions. Let him rant. YOU stay calm. (Easy for me to say, I know.) You done good, jinx. 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Yes, take a nap. You need to restore your energy and emotional balance.
I am warning you, there is going to be a tidal wave of gaslighting coming your way. sniff sniff sniff. Just keep your matches handy, and make sure you stand far enough away..
Last edited by barbiecat; 11/03/10 10:59 AM.
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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We are so very proud of you, not a lot of BS would do that so fast! You did make the right decision and you DESERVE a nap, especially just coming home from the hospital!
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