Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 4 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 77
J
Jinxie Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 77
D-Day Update

So yesterday afternoon my friend called and said come on over and spend the night so I packed a bag, grabbed my dog and split. I am thinking that today will be another rough one because my oldest boy is absolutely incensed by this. He had me forwards copies of texts as well as the emails OW has sent and is planning on having words with her, then his father! Today poo will fly. I am back home now, not answering the jackal, nor responding or engaging the OW!

His last text to me was this:

"Be real, you know how far they live from us, right?!"

I am not done yet, not by a long shot. I am going to continue to monitor the jackals every move til I am satisfied and decide where to go from here. I am emotionally and physically exhausted, I had to come home because some workmen are here today to do pre-planned work soooo...

Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,688
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,688
Keep up the good work. Are you reading the website?

You must expose, but also create a positive LB account.
(This is not easy)

Be firm, but do not love bust him for payback.



Me; W 46
Him; H 46

2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Let exposure do it's job. You my friend are a ROCKSTAR.



BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
Jinxie,
Great Job on exposure, let it take it's course........the fantasy of that relationship is going to burst out big time......
You are being very strong and are in the fight of your life.....
30 years in a long time and you deserve the respect you are now taking for yourself, I couldn't be more proud of you......
Remember the one thing that your husband and his OW forgot about was "YOU"
this was a mistake they might regret now.........
Remember your husband will only talk fog babble right now......don't fall for anything he says........
You tell him that you will not put up with him and his OW and that if he choses to stay in contact with her that he should move along with his life......
Tell him that you would be willing to work through the problems in the marriage but only when it's the two of you...........
Remember don't believe a word he says, his actions at this point are your only indicator........
Good Luck and post here for support.......great folks.......


BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Originally Posted by Jinxie
D-Day Update

So yesterday afternoon my friend called and said come on over and spend the night so I packed a bag, grabbed my dog and split. I am thinking that today will be another rough one because my oldest boy is absolutely incensed by this. He had me forwards copies of texts as well as the emails OW has sent and is planning on having words with her, then his father! Today poo will fly. I am back home now, not answering the jackal, nor responding or engaging the OW!

His last text to me was this:

"Be real, you know how far they live from us, right?!"

I am not done yet, not by a long shot. I am going to continue to monitor the jackals every move til I am satisfied and decide where to go from here. I am emotionally and physically exhausted, I had to come home because some workmen are here today to do pre-planned work soooo...

Another attempt at gaslighting. "How far they live from us?" HE needs to get real. He's a plane ride away. That's not far at all.

You just sit back and watch the fireworks, sister. You're driving the bus now. It's all about YOU now. Rest and, like Scotty said, let exposure do its work.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 77
J
Jinxie Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 77
Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Originally Posted by Jinxie
D-Day Update

So yesterday afternoon my friend called and said come on over and spend the night so I packed a bag, grabbed my dog and split. I am thinking that today will be another rough one because my oldest boy is absolutely incensed by this. He had me forwards copies of texts as well as the emails OW has sent and is planning on having words with her, then his father! Today poo will fly. I am back home now, not answering the jackal, nor responding or engaging the OW!

His last text to me was this:

"Be real, you know how far they live from us, right?!"

I am not done yet, not by a long shot. I am going to continue to monitor the jackals every move til I am satisfied and decide where to go from here. I am emotionally and physically exhausted, I had to come home because some workmen are here today to do pre-planned work soooo...

Another attempt at gaslighting. "How far they live from us?" HE needs to get real. He's a plane ride away. That's not far at all.

You just sit back and watch the fireworks, sister. You're driving the bus now. It's all about YOU now. Rest and, like Scotty said, let exposure do its work.

Yes Exposure is now doing it's job. I've got a large pack of matches in one hand and a lighter in the other! What a complete jacka$$ that he is. As for the hag she makes my blood boil. I refuse to engage her, nor giver her any satisfaction.I notice she says "I have been married for 30 years and plan to keep it that way." Not I have been married for 30 years and love my husband dearly and plan to keep it that way. Huge, that is huge!

Normal people who catch up don't spend the amount of time they have, I am not buying any bs and neither is her BS apparently.

TIA

Jinxie

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Quote
Normal people who catch up don't spend the amount of time they have, I am not buying any bs and neither is her BS apparently.

Yep, yep, and yep.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769
Lots of people with no boundaries use FB to hook up and eventually they find some old lover and fall back in love again...
This seems to be pretty common as "staying married till something better comes along".
All I can say is that both you WH and this OW are acting like they are in their early teens. The level of immaturity is shocking. I can say the same for the text messages and the behaviour my WH and OW had.
I am so glad you took action. Your WH will have to show you he is not the immature man he is now...I hope you will set the bar high.
Blessing


atena
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
Originally Posted by Jinxie
Normal people who catch up don't spend the amount of time they have, I am not buying any bs and neither is her BS apparently.

Normal people who catch up with a friend of the opposite sex do so only as a joint activity with their spouse. Or they don't do so at all.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 606
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 606
Originally Posted by Jinxie
His last text to me was this:

Been there, done that, have the divorce to prove it...My XH said the same thing. She lives outside London, we live in Texas. She came here to see him while I was traveling on business, he left me and our then 18 month old son to go there and live with her for six months, returned here for sixth months and, then, two days after our divorce was final, left to live with her for 3 years. Even that great big pond known as the Atlantic Ocean didn't make a difference, so tell your WH he needs to "get real" about the damage he is doing.

Last edited by Brits_Brat; 11/04/10 09:25 AM.
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769
Quote
Normal people who catch up with a friend of the opposite sex do so only as a joint activity with their spouse. Or they don't do so at all.
The people who do that with their spouse present are not as many as the ones that do it without.
Even the most innocent people do chat with people of the opposite sex on FB and do not think much about it, or say: I completely trust my spouse....
It is a crazy world
Blessing


atena
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 77
J
Jinxie Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 77
Originally Posted by markos
Originally Posted by Jinxie
Normal people who catch up don't spend the amount of time they have, I am not buying any bs and neither is her BS apparently.

Normal people who catch up with a friend of the opposite sex do so only as a joint activity with their spouse. Or they don't do so at all.

Markos,

I completely agree with you. I consider myself an open minded person. I could understand a brief hello, or simple email exchange with me being informed. This was secretive from the get go. It is clear to me that she has every intention of pursuing my WS, and is attempting to gaslight & manipulate me into thinking otherwise so that they may continue to remain in contact with my blessing. (Of course as "just friends")

The two of them conspired the entire "email" debacle via cell phone yesterday. Oh yes they chatted for 38 minutes at 7:38 a.m.. The first email came. Then after that apparently didn't get the response they were after another cell call at 10:21 a.m. for 28 minutes, and shortly there after email number 2 arrived in my inbox. That of course didn't get what they were after so then cell call number 3 was made with no further contact made by OW.

Her sanctimonious attitude is disgusting. She makes me ill. Southern women do not call men sweetheart or sweetie. No respectable married woman (Southern or otherwise) would involve themselves in any of the behaviors she has demonstrated and taken party to. Give me a break, I allowed WS to talk me into this!!!!!! Please.

Jinxie

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 77
J
Jinxie Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 77
Originally Posted by Brits_Brat
Originally Posted by Jinxie
His last text to me was this:

Been there, done that, have the divorce to prove it...My XH said the same thing. She lives outside London, we live in Texas. She came here to see him while I was traveling on business, he left me and our then 18 month old son to go there and live with her for six months, returned here for sixth months and, then, two days after our divorce was final, left to live with her for 3 years. Even that great big pond known as the Atlantic Ocean didn't make a difference, so tell your WH he needs to "get real" about the damage he is doing.

Brit this was my point exactly. WS gets jealous when I speak with the dispatcher of his employer at times! He's got some nerve.

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 205
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 205
I admire your stength and I am so glad that you are not allowing your DH or the OW snow you. I remember finding a text early during my DH's A and him telling me the person sent it to the wrong phone. The text asked what are you wearing. I blew it off and the A continued for another six months. I blew so much off and allowed my DH to snow me. Looking back I realized that there were so many red flags that I should have started snooping. Continue with your efforts and ignore the hussy. They will deny it until the end. Something went on with her and your DH that was very inappropriate. That was an offer for s*x to your DH and Ray Charles could see that. It angers me that cheaters take our love for them and think that we are so clueless about their skanky behavior.

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455
Jinxie you are doing great. Continue exposing.

Have you responded to OW emails at all? Don't give them any idea of what you are thinking or what your plans are. Do you think she sent you the emails because you told your H you were going to expose?

Silence is golden in this case and will drive them over the edge.

Blessings.


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 77
J
Jinxie Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 77
Originally Posted by hope3343
Jinxie you are doing great. Continue exposing.

Have you responded to OW emails at all? Don't give them any idea of what you are thinking or what your plans are. Do you think she sent you the emails because you told your H you were going to expose?

Silence is golden in this case and will drive them over the edge.

Blessings.

Hope absolutely no response to Miss Southern Woman! No way will I engage her in any way, nor give her any satisfaction. Ignore, ignore and more ignore.

Jinxie

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Quote
Hope absolutely no response to Miss Southern Woman! No way will I engage her in any way, nor give her any satisfaction. Ignore, ignore and more ignore.

Dang, jinx - you're my hero! hurray



D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 77
J
Jinxie Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 77
Man it is hard though cause I'd really go off. But that is what the wench wants. My blood is boiling hot and I am now steaming mad. My heart still hurts too. WS is such a sneak, and thinks my brains are scrambled I guess. really that was all they had after conspiring?!

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 38
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 38
Jinxie you are one smart and classy woman! This broad doesn't know what she's up against.

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 77
J
Jinxie Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 77
Originally Posted by lighthearted1
Jinxie you are one smart and classy woman! This broad doesn't know what she's up against.

LOL you are right about that! But I owe it to all of you here. I couldn't get through this without all of the support, advice and kind words. Now I am working on some reading and the process of setting a plan in motion.

Clearly at this point WS is deep in the Fog. Alot of work to be done. I need to take some breathes and time. I am still not feeling all that well and have a big day with my specialist tomorrow.

Jinxie

Page 4 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,027 guests, and 52 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5