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Originally Posted By: Bigfatredhead
Well everything took a turn for the worse so it seems. I talked to her chain of command and their punishments are to transfer them out if the unit. Which means they wont have drill together but OM will not be deploying. I don't think I can Plan A with him around. But here is the re work of my letter.

DW,
I wanted to let you know what I desire for me, you, and our children more than anything else in this world. With all that we have been through I believe we are exactly in a place where we have a chance to be happier then we have ever been, learn a type of marriage we were never taught, be the only parents for our children, and know that we did everything we could do to save our love and our family.
I commit to you to listen and respond to your needs and be the number one source of your happiness and eliminate my behaviors that contribute to the loss of your love. I want to devote time to you and you alone. Openly share my dreams, desires, and failures. To make life decisions that make the both of us most fulfilled. And alllow you to be the only one that brings me the most happiness. So we can protect our love from any outside threats.

I know that when we can make this commitment to each other we will be life long partners and best friends. I need to catch you in my arms like I have since the very first time in the Foothill parking lot and have done for our whole marriage and hope to do for the next 150 years. I need us to follow this new path and love each other more than ever.

Love DH


Okay, I made it all the way through this time smile Now, bfrh, hang on to your old letter and use it as a continuing 'thead' for her.

Good job.


D-Day 2-10-2009
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I need help sorting out some things. I found out today that she askedto be transferred from her unit which surprised me considering I would think she would want to be the unit with OM. I have no idea if the affair is still going on. She is continuing with moving out and filing.
I just have no idea what im dealing with and how to appraoch it. She wont talk anything serious with me so I don't know where her head is at.

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Originally Posted By: Bigfatredhead
I need help sorting out some things. I found out today that she askedto be transferred from her unit which surprised me considering I would think she would want to be the unit with OM. I have no idea if the affair is still going on. She is continuing with moving out and filing.
I just have no idea what im dealing with and how to appraoch it. She wont talk anything serious with me so I don't know where her head is at.


Can you find out if HE is transferring?


D-Day 2-10-2009
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Yes he is. But it doesn't matter much because its only 1 weekend per month and they wont be transferred into the same unit. And because I exposed to their chain of command he is not deploying. So my chance to Plan A with him out of the picture is no longer an option. Also, I just checked her cell phone account and they still text each other. All day yesterday and today.

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Then you path is clear, you Plan A until it is time to Plan B.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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I understand that. Im afraid of not being able to say I did my very best and feel like I could plan a forever. I basically have for two years. My understanding of plan A is to meet ens and eliminate lbs. Well that is what I have done for two years. She even said I did everything she asked me to and fixed all my problems.
Our problem is that we did not institute EPs. I don't see what I could do now or from here to make her want to follow the 7 steps to recovery.

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If you truly believe that you have been in a great Plan A for almost 2 years then I would say that it is time to Plan B.

Are you ready for a Plan B?

Do you have Plan B letter written up? Finances, etc in order?


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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I think I have done a great job at meeting her needs. I lost 100 lbs. Improved my appearance and wardrobe. Gave up video games. Put us on a budget. Finished remodeling the house. Helped her around the house especially laundry and making kids lunches. We went on dates, read books together and we would sit down and do her homework together. We started family.work.outs. we worked out and ran just the two of us. I took the kids on regular daddy daughter dates and son dates. We got a pop up trailer and went camping almost once a month. I wrote her everyday at basic training and everyday whenshe was. At basic. I made her beautiful envelopes and cards that made her the envy on her platoon. I joined the army and got the job that we both always wanted for me firefighter. I eliminated SDs, DJs, and AHs.
I found out today she snuck off during training and asked another soldier to cover. I am ready to plan B. Finances are ready phones and insurance are.separated. I just need to work on the letter. I am going to get her a nice framed picture of our kids for our anniversary and put the letter with it. Time to recover.

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Sorry about grammar and punctuation. I posted from my droid and it wasn't cooperating.

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I've never had a harder time trying to figure out what to do. One day ill feel like I could plan A forever others I feel I just can't handle it and want to plan B. Why does plan B feel likes its giving up
.

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The times I feel like I should keep doing plan A are when I am praying in the word or worshipping. The times I feel like I need to plan B are when I talk to someone about something she recently did.
Two nights ago I sat up in my sleep and these verses were in my head Proverbs 3:5-6 NASB

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.

I can't remember the last time I read or heard those verses. So I am continuing plan A because I need to continue to love on her as long as we are married.

Saturday was our 11 year wedding anniversary. I got her a nice framed picture of the kids and gave her the letter I wrote above. The shorter one. My mom said she came lever later and took the picture and read the letter. I don't know how I am going to keep doing plan A. I think letters and phone calls every once in a while. Keep my family in your prayers.

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I had another appointment with Jennifer last night. She suggested I continue Plan A until WW files. She said its good OM moved in because it will give him a dose of reality. The only way I can plan A from here is two make sure and call the kids every night and write WW letters.
I also need to write letters to her family members saying what I want and that I am willing to wait until the affair dies a normal death. I will def need th communities input. She really likes my letter. Thank you maritalbliss for your input

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Originally Posted By: Bigfatredhead
I had another appointment with Jennifer last night. She suggested I continue Plan A until WW files. She said its good OM moved in because it will give him a dose of reality. The only way I can plan A from here is two make sure and call the kids every night and write WW letters.
I also need to write letters to her family members saying what I want and that I am willing to wait until the affair dies a normal death. I will def need th communities input. She really likes my letter. Thank you maritalbliss for your input


dontknow When did OM move in??? What did I miss??? Your kids are with WW and OM???


D-Day 2-10-2009
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Yes! Sorry it all happened so fast. She moved out of my parents and into an apartment. When I asked who would be watching the kids when she was at work she said a nanny. Turns out nanny is Om frown

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There might be legal action I can take to keep them at my parents. Its so hard to deal with this while so far away and in AIT. Im trying to find a male, pro family lawyer in Cali while im in Texas. I've had a few turn me away cuz im in the Army. But marriages are civil and the Army has nothing to do with it. The only thing the Army does for me is allow me to put the whole thing on hold while Im active.

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Originally Posted By: Bigfatredhead
Yes! Sorry it all happened so fast. She moved out of my parents and into an apartment. When I asked who would be watching the kids when she was at work she said a nanny. Turns out nanny is Om frown


Good Lord. faint There's got to be something you can do. Can you get a consult with any attorney in WW's area to find out what your rights are as far as getting the kids out of there?


D-Day 2-10-2009
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Finding a lawyer is hard. I got a free consult with a friend who is 400/hr who said it is possible to keep them at my parents. Now I need to find one I can afford who can do this for me.

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I need help figuring out this letter. The purpose of it is to tell her family my intentions and that I am still fighting and still hopeful. It also is to reinforce the exposure.

Dear WW family member,
How is everyone doing? Fire school is going great. I am loving the training and it is going by fast. Next week starts sturcture fires, we get to fight real fires! I couldn't be here without your support. Thank you for everything you have done for us, especially your thoughts and prayers.
I am sad about what has happened the last few months but I still have hope for my family. I love WW very much and I am willing to wait for her affair to die its natural death. I hope at that point she will give us another chance. I know that if we can get back on th path we started 2 years ago; there is hope. Please call me anytime if you want to talk.

Love
BS

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Om was there again tonight watching my kids. I think he spends the night. Talk about the mother of all gut punches. I am physically ill.

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WW is pregnant...

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