Congratulations on the new little one! I've been thinking of you!

ba

Congratulations, Anne! I'm wishing the best for you and your family.

Congrats Snoopy! This is really excellent news! You sound like you are doing so well...... Fantastic!!

Little girls are like angels Anne....
congrats.......take care my friend......keep us posted, I hope you get everything you want out of life Anne......you deserve to be happy...............
jessi

Thanks everyone! She is an angel and I am so blessed! My two sons are absolutely in love with her and really enjoy helping me take care of her. It just seems appropriate that it's November and that Thanksgiving is just a few weeks away. There is so much to be thankful for!

Hi Anne

I am the new girl on the block, and have just read all of your thread.

Would just like to say best wishes to you and your family on the birth of your baby girl!! Very exciting!!

Hope you will come back here when things have settled down.

All the best,

Harmony.

Anne,
I had read your post many months ago and today I found it again and caught up on what has happened up to your last post just before Thanks giving. What is going on now? How are the kids doing?

Hi Anne! Haven't heard from you in a while so I hope things are well. So happy your baby girl is here and she is healthy.

Let us hear from you.

Oh, and since I know you don't read other threads thought I'd share....I got married!

me to anne, how are you, things okay?
jessi

Hi all! I check in here about once a week and was a little surprised to see some activity on my thread. It's so nice of those of you who pop in and see how I'm doing.

Congratulations to SW!!! Best wishes and much happiness to you. You deserve it!

The baby, as well as my other children, are wonderful! My mom, who has been sick with breast cancer, is getting better and nearing the end of her chemo. I've recovered well from having the baby and am working on getting back into shape.

Regarding my situation, things are status quo. I'm in a sort of limbo when it comes to my marriage. It's no longer really a marriage (sadly, I don't think WH has a clue yet) but I'm not yet ready to file for D. On the advice of my attorney, I am trying to figure out a career path for myself. It might mean going back to school which would mean more time married to WH but it might be worth it in the long run. I'm weighing my options and trying to figure out the best way to proceed.

As for WH, he didn't miss a beat. Shortly, after I had the baby, he was gambling (while saying he was working), having "lunch" with ButterFace and spending more and more time with Dirtbag (but lying to me about that). I continue to snoop but I'm not obsessive about it. The main reason I still do it is to be aware of what is going on. If there are any drastic changes then I may need to adjust my gameplan.

Thanks again for checking in. I will be sure to post on my thread if anything changes.

Anne

Hi everyone. I am looking for some tips on how to expose WH's Dirtbag Friend's multiple affairs to his wife. It would be nearly impossible for me to find a way to speak with her in person. Has anyone ever done this in a letter? The W really does need to know what kind of man she is married to. She has had her share of red flags and has chosen to ignore them and continues to let him talk his way out of things. I have the phone numbers and/or email addresses for a few of the women he has slept with. I don't know any of these women but is letting them know recommended as well? I'm trying to get things together and want to be sure I do all of this the "right" way. I don't have a specific time frame for any of this but it will be in the upcoming months. Thanks!

Anne

I wouldn't expose to her until you're ready for your side to unravel as well. Because if she's ignoring red flags, she's not going to take kindly to truth without confronting you and your husband about his influence on her husband. If she's in denial, she will see it that way regardless of truth.

I agree Anne. Don't expose to her until you are ready to confront your own dh.

Email me...:) Curious what is going on.

So do you think some of DB's girlfriends don't know he is married? Ugh.

I agree with both of you and I have no plans to confront until I am ready to confront WH about my own situation. DB is a huge part of my own problem so it's only fitting they both be exposed at the same time.

As most of you who have followed my thread probably know, I am very methodical and have a well thought out plan. I'm just trying to prepare as best I can and wanted some feedback from some of you who have had experience in this area (exposing someone else's A). It's not a fun situation to be in and I just want to go about this the best way possible.

SW - To answer your question, with one exception, DB's girlfriends do not know that he's married. In fact, they don't even know his real name. He uses a fake name when he tries to find women. He has a profile on a dating website using his fake name but real picture (if his wife finds out, his plan is to tell her that a friend was playing a joke on him). He has a secret phone, a Facebook page and at least three email addresses under his fake name as well. I have the passwords to his email, Facebook page and dating profile. I have been reading his emails for months now and have been keeping notes. There are several women he's had sex with including a new woman from Friday night. I have emails for all of these women and phone numbers for most of them.

To be honest, I have an almost overwhelming amount of information which is why I'm looking for some guidance on how to present it to her. Any advice is welcome. Thanks to all!

Anne

Do you know her even well enough to ask for a face to face meeting with her? One with very little notice so that she doesn't have time to question her DB husband about what it could be about. I think I would do it face to face. And just be totally honest. Just say, 'in the course of gathering information about my own cheating husband I discovered this. And I know *I* would want to know if I were in your shoes. I fully expect your WH to spin this and paint me crazy and vindictive. However, that is not the case. Here is the information and you may do with it what you want.'

Then walk away. Don't get sucked into the drama of her life. I gather she isn't a close friend of yours so at least you don't have to worry about losing her friendship.

Sounds like all sorts of women need to be protected from DB. I wonder if they can sense that he is a cockroach in disguise once they meet him, or if he has them completely charmed. I suppose DB could be a good actor and really fool innocent women.

DB's wife might know something, but might not know the extent. Also, DB's wife might know everything you know but is not telling you the same way you aren't telling her because she is also waiting for the right moment. Maybe the two of you could expose together Hollywood style.

Anne,

How did you get dirtbag's passwords? If he didn't give them to you, I wouldn't expose how you got the information...different states have different laws. Here in NJ, I think you can even get in trouble for unauthorized access into a spouses e-mail because they had an expectation of privacy.

ba

That's the problem, I don't. It's going to be nearly impossible for me to get a face to face meeting with her. If I contact her at all in any way, DB will find out about it ASAP and I'm sure that will make him and WH very nervous and drive them underground.

Anne

Yes, this is true. Some of them do sense that something is not quite right about him but they are very willing to let him explain everything away. Only one or two women (out of the many he's recently been in contact with) have actually walked away.


This is also true. I do know that DB's wife has confronted him about her suspicions on more than one occassion. She questions where he goes and who he sees (I've heard DB and WH talk about this). DB and WH always talk to each other and go over where they were supposed to be and what they did in case DB's W asks any questions. I don't ask WH questions any more so they don't seem to be at all worried about me suspecting anything.

Anne

Yes, this is something I have considered and it's one of the many reasons why I'm being so careful about this. I don't have passwords to DB's email acount with his real name but I do have the passwords for several accounts he has opened using all fake information (name, birthdate, address, etc.). I don't know if that makes a difference or not. As for WH, I have access to his email account because he told me the password (although I doubt he remembers that he did this).

Anne