You can't fool me! I know real ladies when I see them

And, as usual, you're quite right to get back on-topic. Court, what's happenin' in your neck of the woods?

Continually disrupting a posters thread with divorce advice after he has stated he doesn't want a divorce is a disruption that will not be tolerated. There is no need to say it over and over again. Please help this poster by keeping your posts productive and helpful.

Let's stay on topic please.

*EDIT*

Well, THAT certainly put a damper on this thread - nothing since 9:11am!

Yet again, I'll ask:

CV, How are you doing, and what do you need from us?

sorry folks i can't really talk or update as we are back home for christmas...just for now wish me luck that the magic of my family can bring her around...keeping my fingers crossed and praying to the good Lord

Court if you have not exposed, see my thread, I am now a convert.

Not a vet, and just my .02 and yes it is right before xmas.

Court,

There is no chance to change things until there is exposure. NONE.

You will continue to wander aimlessly and �hoping� while she continues her affair, all because of your fear.

Exposure is the number one thing you can do to end the affair. There�s countless threads on this board of men who fear exposure, limp along for months, and finally man up and do it and finally get results.

There�s other times where exposure does nothing, but that�s rare.

My feelings on the D advice is that it�s good advice and a good option for a man in your situation, HOWEVER, it�s something you really need to arrive to on your own.

Those of us who have walked the walk feel that�s good advice. But it really is something you need to arrive to yourself.

But we can always hope she has some sort of epiphany and returns to the marriage as a changed woman.

.....or, sadly, by their delay miss their best chance for a successful resolution.

hello all,
ok everything has been completed and even a brief plan b since i have been away. last week i had to make a decision myself. i told her that she could have no part of me if he was still involved as she still didn't know if she wanted to let him go. well she packed her things and left for 3 days. she wrote him a letter and as of last night it was deemed officially over. they talked for a bit which i didn't want them to do but it was her choice and my choice to tell her that i want to start building trust so i want to know what was said. she said that they couldn't even have anything together if i am still involved and vise versa. he no longer wants to see her while still married. so now she is still confused as she chose me but i guess now she is depressed which i expected her to be. with the NC in place and her depression setting in from all of this how do we get through this now? she doesn't want to be physical with me and i didn't expect her to run home and throw her arms around me either. what can i do to help her through this? she says she just doesn't know if she can "see" past this. she says now she has an urge to go back to him. is this all normal? of course if she does go see him back out she goes and back into a depressed state i go. what advise do you all have??? is there anymore info that i need to give?

also outside of phone records how do i make sure she isn't texting him? i would only get those once a month and if in the meantime she could just delete his text after it has been sent and i wouldn't know till i get phone records. any ideas on that as well?

I am wondering how this "built trust" for your wife to speak to her adultery partner? What about her talking to her adultery partner built trust?

Have you done this yet?

She should exchange phones with you. That will take care of that. Take her phone.

Mel, you need to rewrite this in English!

Oh well, what do you expect for a dumb Texan?

courtvision, does she still work with her OM?

Court, did you expose the A?

cv - I have not read your whole thread, but please don't fall for the idea that poor poor WW is trying to "choose" between you and the OM.

She wants what ever cheater wants: She wants a husband AND a boyfriend. She loves having TWO men meeting her emotional needs. And like every cheater, she will keep this going just as long as she possibly can and will say anything to string you along and keep you hanging around while she enjoys her boyfried on the side.

This is why No Contact between WW and OM is 100% vital if you want to save your marriage. She is never, ever, ever going to "choose" unless and until she is forced to. And that usually takes Plan B on your part.

Everything completed, like you exposed??

Good if you did, and sounds like some progress RUN WITH IT.

Take all the advice the vets give you.

This is all theatrics and show to get you to shut up and let her take things further underground.

Either that or she will be running back to him.

There will still be contact.

You will have no chance of killing this affair until you expose.

Enjoy the theatrics, because that is all it is.