Make sure you expose to his co-workers, no one likes a cheat. If his parents are involved this will pop your wifes bubble of happy ever after. If you do meet them do not discuss your relationship with your wife, all that is discussed is his interference in your marriage and his abuse of his senior position to take advantage of her. Have evidence ready including her admission, refer to the MB programme to recover a marriage ensure they know the marriage cannot recover while the affair is in progress. If they mention the divorce enlighten them this occurred after you let them know, she is in the fantasy and fog land.

See a good lawyer, be calm and ensure she knows you will be fighting for your marriage. A good legal head will counter file and make life for her and the OM very uncomfortable.

Do not be despondent this does happen, so stay on track.

Agree. Be sure and emphasize over and over again that THE AFFAIR LED TO THE SEPARATION AND YOU ARE TRYING TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE.

Illinois is an alienation of affection state. GF

Someone correct me if I'm wrong: isn't it the law that a defendant has to be served with divorce papers? Don't they have to be delivered and signed for?

Indeed I to thought divorce papers had to have a signed receipt, get a good lawyer just in case. Play hardball your sole focus is to save your marriage.

That is very odd.. I have NEVER heard of divorce papers being left under the door. That is why I asked if they were REAL.

You get served with divorce papers, they don't get put under your door. The BEST and most underhanded thing you can do is pretend you didn't get them. THAT is why people get served.

They aren't put under your door.

This all stinks of a "do it yourself" divorce and she's hoping you fall for it.

I would get a lawyer, counterfile on grounds of adultery, and sue the other man for alienation of affection. TAKE big time advantage of that.

I was just re-reading an earlier post about empathy and how I didn't have empathy for her when she was crying out for help and asking for marriage counseling. I agree. She's one of these people that cries during any argument and I think eventually I started becoming numb to it. And arguing for me was always cathartic for me so I was able to get everything out, while she always held everything in. She did tell me what was troubling her, but I never listened. The things we have to go through to learn our lessons...

I will be calling lawyers in the AM and plan on countersuing for adultery and try to sue the other man for alienation of affection. She also lied about how long we've been separated probably to speed up the time period to get divorced so gotta challenge that as well.

You're doing the right things to protect yourself, but this doesn't ring true. You have to be served with D papers. Things don't just get slipped under doors.

If she asks you, deny.

24 hours since I exposed..no angry email or anything from her...hope somebody says something to her

received email from their boss...he referred to a level higher..we'll see what happens

Ohhh. NOW the D papers under the door make sense. That's her shot back at you for exposing. Well done, abc. You hit a nerve.

Lawyers don't turn things around that quickly. Seriously, this is all a false game. There is no official D filed unless you get served.

Just pretend you didn't get them. In fact, perhaps you can call and say hi and act like nothing has happened.

If she confronts and asks about papers, you say, "I haven't been served with papers, so I don't know what you're talking about."

If she presses, say it again.

ITA with HTLD. This is your WW's response to your exposure. There is no attorney. There are no D papers. The process just doesn't work that fast. She's being questioned and is pissed. Good job on exposure.

I agree. There is something very funny about those "divorce" papers. I bet if you consult a lawyer he can easily see if papers were actually filed.

I think it was a RUSE to shut you up.

abc, there may be a way you can find out more about the authenticity of these papers. Your county may have a website for domestic court cases (most do, anymore.) Go online and google your county and state, and add 'domestic cases.' Type your name in the box. If it's been filed you'll see it.

I still think it's fake and is your WW being pissed.

she filed the papers on 1/12 with a real lawyer..i don't know why they put it under the door but i'll be talking to lawyer tomorrow

still no response from wife about exposures...

she took down all our pictures together on facebook, changed her last name back to maiden name

can anyone point me to any success stories that have similar stories to ours?? i know this stuff takes time but still... thanks

Normal WW response to rage after exposure. Sit back and watch how crazy she will react. All bluster on her part.

You see WW is an addict and you have taken away her source of addiction. All addicts will rage so they get their source back in your WW case her OM.

Sit tight all BH's o through this. Hurts to put iodine on a cut. You have just poured the whole bottle on WW affair. Stings as it kills the affair germs.