They are already united against you. Yes, you should send her the note attached to the Plan B letter. That puts pressure on that ho.

You should also expose the affair to her family. Does she have a facebook page?


If they call you a "witch" for ruining their vibe, then you have done a great job!! I would AIM for that!

FM, please attach a copy of all those emails - with the headers very visible - to the workplace exposure letters you send to his boss and the director of HR. In your cover letter state that either his boss is covering for the affair or your H has access to the bosses email account.

You have a very powerful weapon in your hands!

FM, I would start by packing his bags NOW and asking him to leave. Tell him his affair is too painful for you to endure and ask him out of respect for you to MOVE OUT. NOW. Tell him you cannot take one more second of his presence.

If he won't, then inform you will be escalating this. And don't say anything more.

Are you sure that filthy ho is single?

H says she's single. Pretty sure she lives alone. Her name has been the same since I've known her.

I don't know anyone she knows except for some of my H's coworkers. All I know is she goes to a local community college.

Are you aware that you can fake an email and make it look like it's coming from someone else? For example: give me five minutes and I can send you an email that looks like it came from your H. Illegal? Hell, yeah it is! Does a wayward care? No.

Thanks. I knew it was possible. I continue to be amazed by the depths people will go to so they can carry on an affair.

Exposure is not "revenge". It's to kill the affair. You should expose to his coworkers. It is very bad to hear that your boss is having an affair with a peer. Think about it: How would you feel if you heard that a boss was screwing a peer?

I know how I would feel. That everything the coworker did was in question now. That they had the job just because they were sleeping with boss. That they could get away with anything.

I would also lose respect for boss. I would also lose confidence in the organization if they knew and didn't handle.

I think this exposure will do the most damage to the affair.

VEry odd that a single person would need go to a hotel with a married man. She may very well be married. I would find out this out ASAP. Does she have a facebook page? Have you looked her up online to see if she is married?


FM, start doing some research! Start out with facebook, then check pipl.com, peoplefinder.com, intelius.com, anywho.com, whitepages.com

I suspect reason for hotel is that I know where OW lives and I have driven past her house before. I think H and skank think I'll show up. Could also be because skank's mom is in the country. She comes up for holidays.

He wasn't planning on staying overnight - just an afternoon quickie. He was gonna come home that night, give me a kiss and say I love you. Give our daughter a kiss and pretend like we're Leave it to Beaver.

I can't find anything on her. She's from another country. I think she only moved to US about 8-9 years ago. No FB, Myspace. I've searched her phone number, known email addresses. Nothing.

Have you been to her house and knocked on the door? I would go by there and see who is there. If her mother is there, you can tell her about the affair.

FM, did you see my posts about packing his crap and asking him to move out?

I predict that this affair has gone on for so long that your husband has grown very foggy and very flagrant. Becasue of that, it will probably take a divorce suit to wake this guy up.

I think he believes you will do nothing to stop him. Asking him to get out will probably shock him.

Yes, MelodyLane, I saw.

I refuse to pack his stuff. I've done everything for him for 8 years. Laundry, cooked, cleaned, bought all his clothes and shoes, paid the bills, did the taxes, handled drs appts, scheduled dates, trips, etc.

He needs to pack his stuff. He needs to find his own place. He is not my problem anymore. If he refuses to leave, I will make him leave. Period.

I want him to feel every moment of putting his stuff that I picked out for him in a duffle bag. I want him to pissed that I'm not doing it for him. I want him to be aggravated that he forgot something.

I'm telling him to leave (just not tonight - he just got back from a family event and I have no energy to get into this with him tonight). Plus he seemed really agitated when he got back. I asked him if he had a nice time and he said "No!" Family probably asked him where I was and didn't like answer. Or, it could be that I left him hanging all day. I didn't speak to him in AM nor did I return his text or call.

I think I'm going to really like Plan B.

Mother doesn't speak a word of english. So even if I saw her, I wouldn't be able to tell her a thing.

Maybe I could draw a diagram?

Or I could just use vulgar hand gestures.

I'm getting punchy. Time for me to sleep.

Kissed my beautiful daughter goodnight, told her how pretty she is, how kind and loving she is, how smart she is and how proud I am of her. I told her that I loved her more than anything else. I had been hanging on to this marriage for her but I do not want her to witness her father's lying, deception and justification for one more minute. He's a good man but this affair has eaten his brain. I owe it to him and her to squash it like the filthy cockroach it is.

I'm confused. How did you communicate with her when she cared for your daughter?


Go ahead and pack his things if you want to go into plan B. Otherwise, you are at the mercy of his time table for getting things packed and getting gone. He'll have ample opportunity to be pissed about all the things you are no longer doing for him when he is out.

Feisty is good!!

FM, translate the message into her language and have this written in a note. Hand her the note.

All hyped up for Plan B but just spoke to family member who popped my hopeful bubble.

She said get a divorce attorney. Protect yourself no matter what. I was going to consult with one anyway but it makes me think there is something she's not telling me.

I'm going to expose tomorrow - although I don't think it matters anymore b/c seems like cat is out of bag and H just wants me to toss his rear into the street b/c he's too weak to make a move.

This is good basic advice! You will want to protect yourself legally. You can still go into Plan B, but be sure and get legal protection.


I think exposure will be an enormous help. It will be much harder for them to carry on their affair when everyone is watching them at work. The cat is not out of the bag AT WORK and that is where they carry on. That is a powerful weapon in your hands.

Fuzzy, you're not packing his stuff for him. You're packing his stuff for YOU.