Thanks everyone.

I need encouragement. I'm feeling kind of lonely and discombobulated today. It's just me, my DH, and the baby in the house now for the next 5 months. I know I probably just need time to adjust, and it is a comfort knowing that my kids are where they should be, doing what they need to be doing. But dang, I miss them!

Any advice on this whole empty-nest syndrome thing?

Erm,

You don't have an empty nest! You have a demanding two year-old - remember? I know that's not the same as talkative, argumentative, funny, helpful, lazy teenagers, but you have a lot of work to occupy your time while starting from the beginning again.

Will your weekly bills be more, or will they be less, without the boys at home? If they were not paying towards the bills, then it should be cheaper without them. You might be able to save a little more here and there.

Will not having them there make any difference to UA time after the toddler goes to bed? (I know your H is up really early and in bed early.) Could fewer people in the house allow you to focus on you and H more?

I do understand missing the boys, though, even though you have your daughter. My daughter (21) is away for her language year for university, and I badly miss her, even though I still have my son (14).

Well, it took my son exactly 11 days to get himself thrown out of the military academy. He managed to escape from a U.S. military base and was picked up by the police in a nearby neighborhood and consequently removed from the program.

Really, would it be too much to ask for just one thing in my life to go right? Really? I can't even have one stupid positive thing happen? Ever?

I'm feeling especially suicidal at the moment.

Hang in there Writer1.

I know things seem pretty dark, but they will get better.

God Bless,

JL

Yeah, no they don't.

I'm sorry, but they just don't.

I've been telling myself that for years now and it never happens. They just keep getting worse.

I'm tired of thinking positively. I'm tired of looking for the bright side. I'm tired of searching for a light at the end of the tunnel that's just not there.

I'm just tired.

Hi Writer.

I'm wondering what was going on with your 16 y/o son that he decided to run away. Must have been very very upset about how he was being treated/what was going on.

Perhaps you would feel better if you focused your attention on your son, rather than how your own plans are being disrupted.

Military school is not for everyone, and they would probably have kept him had they felt there was any chance he would succeed. I'm sure they evaluated him and determined that he would do better out of the program.

Be compassionate to him. If you aren't, who else will be? No doubt he is ashamed as well as disappointed himself.

Telly, my son has failed at absolutely everything he's ever done. He hasn't passed a single grade in school. It has all been social promotion, which I've had no control over. He started getting sent home from school for behavior problems when he was 2. He's been suspended from school more times than I can count - destruction of property, sexual harassment (when he was in 2nd grade), defiance, fighting, truancy, smoking, drug use. You name it, he's done it. I have literally called everywhere I can think to call, begged everyone I can think of to beg for help, and nobody will do anything. I've even called the police about having him made a ward of the court and removed from our home. No one will help. Unless we can come up with more money than we even make in a month to have him placed in an involuntary residential program, there doesn't seem to be much left that we can do.

I just don't have anything left to give to this kid. I have nothing. I have no compassion left for him inside of me. I am just tired and exhausted and completely worn out. I haven't eaten anything since 11:30 this morning. I've been crying for hours. I can't think. I can't function.

I CANNOT HANDLE ONE MORE BAD THING!

I've reached my limit. I just can't do it anymore.

writer, you mustn't let him move back home and resume his old role of your troublesome kid. If he is going to cause problems, you need to move him out.

I'm disappointed for you about the military academy. I had heard that ADHD kids often do well in the military. They respond well to the firm structure and the active life.

Writer, please call a suicide hotline in your area. Think about your baby.

writer,

While the Marriage Builder's website cannot become involved in threats of this kind, please know that your pain is taken seriously.
Please contact a suicide crisis center in your area, call 1-800-SUICIDE or call your family physician.

We do CARE!!!!

((((((((((writer))))))))))

Please keep checking in - I'm very worried about you - I know that everyone here is...

Mrs. W

I don't really know what to say but I have admired you from your posts. I will pray that things get better for you and for God to give you the strength to handle them until they do.

I completely agree!

Not only is military school not for everyone, but our modern school systems, in general, are not for everyone.

As a mom who has homeschooled for 15 years, my initial thought was, perhaps he needs a break? Perhaps there are underlying problems - aspergers? dyslexia? bipolar?

It's always been my belief that, in regard to my children, our relationships take priority over grades.

Does he have any interests at all? Any way that he could apprentice or take on a different learning style in order to find his own, unique way?

(((Writer)))

I am so sorry. Frankly I'm a bit annoyed at the academy....they are supposed to be tough enough to handle hard cases, I thought.

I echo the concern. You can have my email if you want. Anything. And take it from one who knows.....with regard to suicide thoughts, don't go there. Make that call.

Nope. There's an acceptance process (meaning others are trying to get in because they want to be there). They don't want those that don't want to be there. Just like if you run off from the military, you get court martialed...the military doesn't play and doesn't want those that don't want to be in the military.

Now if we have another war and they reinstate the draft that's a different story.

On iPhone so gonna keep it short. Don't turn your frustration and anger against yourself. Call the number and let them help. In your corner.

I hope you find help for your son and peace within yourself.

Kt is right, and it would take martial law to force people into the military, and even then his attitude would not nessesarily change.

Mil Acadamys are not allways the best choice for people. Many COs, (Conscienious Observers, not Commanding Officers), Have served in wartime as doctors, nurses, preists etc..under a draft. And valiently I might add. That is a whole different system than one like today, where it is expected that you want a Mil carreer at 16 if you join an academy. They just don't have the funding or staff to handle someone who doesn't want it.


Now as to you, Please gets some help. I know you can't get money help. wev'e been thru that before, but money is not the issue if this is beating you up inside like this. Talk to a professional.

Hang in writer, were all pullin for ya.

I'm so sorry writer. Honestly, your son sounds like he needs forced treatment of some kind.

W1

Haven't posted to you in a while. You have done a great amount of good work since you came here.

Thing is the pay off doesn't always come now. Then quite often is comes much later and in a form you don't recognise because it's not what you were looking for.

Career wise my life hit a low for the past few years. I just keep pushing because things can't stay bad forever.