Poor me poor me POUR ME another one!

Mitzie

You don't have to answer this-I am just courious-

Has your WH ever sought out on his own any type of treatment, counseling or has he ever just plain went on the wagon after a bad event?

nESRE

This trickle of WH getting stuff needs to stop. You are not his funeral clothing gun boutique. If there's anything else truly important still there, you may (but not must!!!) get it together and leave in the garage or something.

But this whole popping over all the time to get this, or that, or the other thing, just isn't going to fly.

I don't have a strong opinion one way or the other about how far to pursue OW's mom at this point. I think if it was me I would try a few basic places to find her, such as Facebook and zabasearch.com, and maybe one or two others. I would not use every resource in the world or obsess over finding her, but make a short, good-faith attempt.

If you are going to think of her feelings, think how she would feel, if she is a decent person, if she has been lied to in her face over a course of months, and grown fond of the person she thinks WH is, only to find out she was betrayed by them both.

If you can find her without excess damage to yourself, she should know the truth.

Enjoy and soak in every moment of your peaceful lifestyle. WH can only come back into your life if he's willing to add to the peace, not break it up. No more chaos!

Nesre: You are FUNNY!

And NO WH has NEVER quit, nor tried to get help. So the answer to your question: NO

I'm sure that doesn't bode well for me...since last October what has?

I have composed a quick letter to OWs mother:(here is the body of letter)

I have tried to reach you via telephone but was unable to do so, therefore I am sending a letter to you to advise you that at the present time your daughter OW is engaging in an adulterous affair with my husband WH whom has subsequently moved out of our family home due to the affair.

I do not know if you are aware of this situation or if you condone such behavior or what your daughter OW has told you about the state of WH and my marriage, however, you should be made aware of the facts of the ongoing adultery.

My husband WH and I are NOT divorced. We are NOT negotiating a divorce. Neither of us have filed for a divorce and as of todays date neither one of us has any plans to do so.

My husband WH and I have two children. WH has three children total and two grandchildren.
The family is devistated at the lack of moral judgement on all parties involved in this affair.

As you know these types of adulterous affairs never end well for anyone involved, especially the children.

I love my husband WH very much and will do everything in my power to restore this marriage regardless of the
current situation.

Please feel free to contact me.

Sincerely

Factual and to the point. Doesn't sound vindictive to me. Too bad of the outcome. The more and more I thought about how that piece of scum bottomfeeder has lied and manipulated EVERYONE she comes in contact with...OOOOHHHH my BLOOD BOILS.



UPDATE; sent it last night. sat infront of post office 20 minutes talking myself out of it. Couldn't talk myself out of it, threw it in box and drove away.

"OH, I'M SORRY WH AND OW. IS IT SELFISH OF ME TO MAIL THAT LETTER AND NOT CARE WHO MIGHT GET HURT BY IT? TO H3LL WITH EVERYONE ELSE, I DID WHAT I WANTED! IS THAT WRONG? SHOULD I HAVE TAKEN OTHER PEOPLE INTO CONSIDERATION BEFORE WENT AND DID SOMETHING FOOLISH?"

*BUMP 4 FEEDBACK*

Are you going to Al-Anon?

I am.

Last meeting, we discussed how sometimes we "give away" our serenity as if it was the salt & pepper sitting on the table and our alcoholic said:
"Please pass the salt & pepper."

So, we do.
We reflexively hand over our serenity and then feel badly about ourselves for doing so.

Isn't it funny how our alcoholic never says "Thank you" when we pass them our serenity out of habit? Or out of our wishful thinking? Or out of our desire to control/manage the outcome?

One of the reasons MY response to your exposure question was to simply remind you that you are in plan B is .......
To me, Plan B is very much about your serenity.
BE CAREFUL how/when/to whom and under what circumstances you risk your Plan B serenity.

I'm not saying the letter is/was a mistake (nicely written letter by the way).
I am saying always keep your serenity in mind.

Hang in there sweetie.

The way I see it exposure of lies & deceit is always good. The only ones who suffer the consequenses are the liars/deceivers.

I am in a very very dark PLB right now. All contact has been stopped/blocked/discontinued. I don't have to deal with the fall out. DS2 going to WH Fri/Sat night...got someone to take him over. Right now I have too much going on here in my own home to worry what's going on OVER IN FANTASY CAMP!(nothing major just unfinished businss & broken stuff that needs done. Thank goodness for dear ol' dad!)

Let them deal with a HEAVY DOSE OF GOOD OLD REALITY! Can we say LBers everyone?

Alanon this afternoon b4 work.

Words to live by.

Hiya Mitzie!

Just a brit popping in here!!

Good job for sending the letter, it was nicely written you came across really well.

Be ready for the backlash (all good by the way) and don't let it break your plan B.

Be ready for it Mitzie!!!

Harmony.

You've already let the letter cut up too many moments of peace. Let it go. It's done; don't give it another thought.

What are you cooking for supper tonight?

Neak...paleeze...I have great teachers here on MB. I can recognize fog talk a mile away!

Its done. I Wont lose any sleep oer it. I don't owe ANYONE in any proximity to this A any explenation.

Honestly I still love WH but this peaceful time(although a bit lonely)is wonderful! My stressful job is seeming less stressful. I've started working out-gettin' toned baby! Going back to school if work will around my schedule. Where as WH chose to change his life the worst way he could I'm going for self improvement.

serenity....

Hey Mitzie

You might just be joining me in the benefits of Plan B heaven...! Its feels good doesn't it? After what you have been through you deserve it, Plan A yourself, have you ever read the goddess thread? Time to up the glamour stakes lady!

Its hilarious, I will bump for you...

Really pleased to see your feeling better.

Bumped the Goddess thread for you Mitzie.

Well, the letter was recieved yesterday. Not as much fall out as far as I can tell. Nasty text from her(forgot to blok HER on my phone) Text to kid to give to me fro WH,(which didn't bother me at all) here is what they said:

OW;Blah blah blah...don't involve my 76 year old mother in my problems...blah blah blah...get some balls and call me blah blah blah...(this after she tried to call and I sent her to vm)

WH; PLEASE DO NOT INVOLVE OW MOTHER. SHE HAS ENOUGH PROBLEMS

My questions: She considers adultry a 'problem'? WHO exactly has the problem WH is refering to? OW or OW mother?

Who cares? NOT MT PROBLEM!!

But Mitzie, you DO have some cajones and you showed the ow your exposure WORKED! (doin' little dance).

Lovely plan B so far. You are a goddess! Now enjoy the peace and let the ws and ow scramble to have to defend their sleazy affair. It won't end good for them.

Just sit back, take care of yourself now!

How weird is this...AC/DC's 'I'VE GOT BIG BALLS' started playing on the radio right after I got that text!And that was a station I never listen to.

I've always known that


GOOD!Just takin' care of business...

That ac/dc song always cracked me up.

But you've got the "biggest of them all"!

Ah. enjoy the peace. Wanna know what one thing I did each and every damn day since I went plan B with xwh?

I took a bubble bath. A warm, frothy selfish bubble bath.

And it was/is good. A goddess "thing" I do each day and have done since then. Hmmm. Funny thing, but the goddess thing stuck with me too!

Translation? Bullseye!!

Yep. You did great by hitting that target head one. You can never do enough exposure imho.

I had to expose before the advent of FB. It was basically me finding out where she lived and had to ask around about who her relatives were.

Found a relative (female) living next door to her. I figured it might be her mom, so I hit that target. Called up, a female answered, and I read her the riot act about monkeyho.

Turns out it was her very sick and elderly grandma, who proceeded to go next door and yell at her ow granddaughter and tell her she was leaving her out of will if she didn't end it! Go grandma! (that's what grandma told me and the ow bellyached to my xwh that I was so mean calling and upsetting her grandma and that grandma yelled at her for several days).

See? Nice and decent folks do not condone affairs and breaking up families.