I'd let things die down a bit b/c you do not want the ws to know that an exposure is planned, gives them time to concoct stories, spin tales of you being a "crazy, jealous husband", and most of all, prepare. You need to do it when everybody is off guard.

I will take it slower. Just the keylogger first. I am not comfortable with the phone devices. Very big and bulky. Nowhere to hide that.

Question for you about email. Anyone know how to access very old mail from AOL. Stuff from 18 mos ago automatically disappears.

Where are you trying to find the old mail? Is it saved? You can't undelete deleted mail on aol.

And I'm not sure what you're doing with the phone - what are these bulky devices?

Keylogger is good. Get the eblaster from www.spectorpro.com There are others that may cost less, but I have no experience with them so I can't vouch for them. Maybe others can chime in on those.

For the phone, that's where I will get information from her co-conspirators. Her friends and siblings. They talk all the time. But you need to plug one into a jack, then get recording device and a connecting jack. The voice activated one requires a phone with a chord.

Its a lot of hardware that can't easily be concealed. I don't think that recording phone conversations while she is in the house alone where they could reveal a lot of information is going to be very easy.

You accomplished a lot today! Feel proud of yourself for being a man of action so far, and let this momentum continue.

Don't be afraid to use the Ambien or Xanax AS PRESCRIBED - you are going through a really tough time.

But don't be afraid of what's ahead, just focus on the next step and follow the advice of the veteran posters here. Keep doing as they say and it will be step-by-step, very easy to follow, and bring results.

You ARE in control. I'm glad that helps you feel better.

You might want to search for MelodyLane's thread SPYING 101. I'm not an expert, but I think there's some good options for gathering the information that you have a right to know.

You're going to hide a VAR near the phone, right? That should take care of recording her when she's on the phone in the house.

[quote=Arpeggi]Breathe, man, breathe.


Arpeggi, you're advice late last night to "breathe, man, breathe." was a lifesaver. Thank you. Please stick around. Everyone has been great.

marital bliss.
Sorry this phone thing is so confusing. There are about four lines in the house. she can have a conversation in any room. So I am getting one of the devices that records anything said on any line by tapping into one of the unused jacks in the house.

stretch, make sure this is something that can't be seen - you don't want to tip her off that you're bugging the phones. It'll drive her underground.

Four lines? Or four wall jacks? A well hidden VAR will pick up any conversation (one-sided). As for recording directly off the line, make sure that the other party doesn't get an intermittent beep to alert them that the call is being recorded. You don't want this to backfire.

guess I don't know what to do about the phone conversations. But I will test and experiment

Stretch please let us know what works when you find one. Planning to install on WH phone...have you considered VAR?

Glad to hear it, my friend. I'm not going anywhere, and will check in on your thread every time I log on to MB. It's the least I can do after the advice at this site saved me when I went through my WXW's affair. Let me know if I can help you in any way, and remember to just breathe! The most important thing to know is that when you get through this, you WILL feel better than you can imagine now. The pain is temporary - and you will feel so much stronger for having gone through this experience. Small comfort now, I'm sure, but keep your eyes fixed on the goal in the distance as you stay strong and take the high road. I'm really impressed by all that you got done today.

Also, laughter helps. Got any comedies that you like? Give yourself time to laugh. Xanax, Arrested Development (my personal favorite comedy series) and my family and friends saved my life that first summer after I separated from my ex.

Best wishes amigo, and remember I (and many others) are here for you!

Arpeggi

Whew! You're a lifeline.
I cried over and over yesterday. I lay in bed crying and wife rubbed my back. (actually feels better when she touches me. Affection I discovered last fall is my #1 EN)

Since our counseling together has been hard -- and the new marriage counselor has been much better, greater results and breakthroughs, there were a lot of reasons I could go into to explain my sudden depth of tears. And they were all true. Good things to be in touch with. But I had the strength not to disclose that I know about the affair. You vets on MB gave me that strength.

There is more time and work needed before I am ready for that. Not strong now. Barely sleeping for crying out loud. How strong can I be with 7 hrs sleep in three nights?

I found OM phone number btw. A weak alias on her contact list. Feels empowering to have clues. Now I have to try to get old records that are hard to obtain.

Going to play with VAR -- but hidden VAR. The phone jack is too risky.

Testing keyloggers.

I need to get some projects done for work. I have an associate there who senses something is up. Not a full confidant. But he senses something. And he offered to take as much of my work right now as he can. Blessed for that.

Meanwhile... gotta just breathe

Get four digital activated VAR's.

Flexispy looks really cool. But few phones work with it.

Other suggestions for tracking cell phone activity? And GPS

Nevermind. I found some good choices that work on this particular phone online.
Simple online search. Silly that I asked. Like I can't find an answer on my own using the internet without asking the team?

Good sign though... I was able to think and act for myself.

DDAY +2.

Very little sleep. But I am building/following step by step plans. And I just problem solved, decided and acted on my own.

All these slow breathes in/out are slowly bringing me back to life.

VAR's in every room, if that's what it takes. VAR her car.

Sorry I've been away for a day, but you are doing fine. The keylogger option should be pursued with all speed. Let that "cook" for a few days, and keep your other actions going forward.

Finish your tentative timeline; put together your exposure plan/list. And be as normal as possible with WW.

@stretch123 -

You do realize that there is more to do besides Exposure?