Mitzie
You don't have to answer this but when planning for PLAN B did you

A. Seperate your financial accounts so wayturd does not have access to yours
B Secure tax information past and present
C. Secure all titles to any vehicles or play toys you may have

I know my wayturd could sell anything WE have but to a buyer it is not worth anything without a title.

Should anything be sold it would be a pain in my Azz but without a title the buyer would have no claim. A bill of sale may save them for about 10 days-Thats how long we have to transfer a title-At the end of 10 days being they would have no title I would be free as the title owner to claim what is mine and take possession regardless of how much money is paid or whatever deal was made. The police would even help me since it would then be considered stolen property.

Remember all items are half yours in the M if you live in a NO Fault state. Here it does not matter whos name it is titled in-Mine is hers and hers is mine-HALF.

Personal property is different and there would be nothing I could do to stop her from taking my tools and selling them. Even with that I would in the eyes of the court be entitled to half the money or if all the money was spent then she would have to prove to the court it went to the benifit of the M. (house/car payment/bills/
Not much incentive to do that unless that is what the purpose is.

Are you sure he can just sell items in your state? I need signed permission from WW otherwise and that ain't gonna happen.

Really dig into this with a lawyer. You possibly could have some rights that may favorably benifit you.

I am certainly not a lawyer and I know all states are a little different with their laws. I just don't belive WH could sell items and take the money. He may be able to do that now but it will catch up to him in court.

Please come back and tell us you have all the big ticket titles secure and in your possession.

nESRE

All accounts were in his name only. He took me off checking and savings about 12 years ago because I was bad with finances. He never trusted me with any money since. I would have to 'ask' him for money and account for every penny spent. Dr. Phil calls these people Money Bullies and that's what he was/is.

Since this is second go-round of affairs, I already knew what needed to be done(it doesn't hurt that I have an attorney for a friend. She may not be a divorce atty, but she thinks like one!). So all titles and pension info, 401k info, all papers of importance are locked away...and far away.

You say he couldn't sell without a title? Unfortunately I fear he may have applied for replacement titles. We have done it before when we sold cars or quads or trailers and couldn't find the title. It only takes a printout from online taken to a notary and sent to DMV. Title will be in his possesion in about 7 days. All titles to everyting are in his name only. Although getting the vin number off my car would be quite hard since he doesn't come around when I'm home with the car & he can't get into the garage where I work without a pass so he couldn't go there to get it. Is there any other place he could get the vin number? From the insurance agent?

Although this is a nofault state and everything is 50/50 that 50/50 doesn't come into play until the divorce. The only thing I can do is call attorney and get her to file an immediate injunction to stop sale. Can't do that on my own in my state, unfortunately. THis is something WH never could wrap his brain around, EVER. That everything WE have, We built, We bought while we were married, HALF is LEGALLY MINE. He was always selfish.

Well, I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Right now DS1's car has some type of major problem. He's got a northstar engine in it and I have no idea how much it's going to cost to fix that!

I know G-D doesn't give us anything we can't handle. But goodness does he think I have the shoulders of Atlas?

And the more I think about WH, the more I think I really don't like him as a person and I really could do better.

This is actually a good part of the process. It just means you won't be willing to take him back unless he becomes a person you could like and respect.

He needs to earn his way back in, and in a big way. Otherwise, even if you're alone you're still doing better.

Poor DS1. He just bought this car, made ONE payment on it and it's got a blown gasget(?), piston(?), something major. He was on his way to work and the thing just died on him.

Couldn't get ahold of IM(must be at church ). DS1 will NOT talk to WH about the car seizing up. He knows WH will have a screaming fit on him.

DS1 called AAA and had it towed home. I went out and looked at the engine & tried to crank it over, no luck. Like I really know anything about car engines...well I DID fix my tub leak

So I called WH. WH, who wants nothing to do with the reality of having children or dealing with said childrens problems, was furious. I wouldn't have called him but for the fact that he

1. picked that vehicle out for DS1, to which I was adamant about DS1 NOT getting because it will cost a fortune to fix if something happens

2. He is cosigner on loan.

3. He is verrry mechanically inclined. He can tear an engine down and build it back up like nobody I know.

Wilst in the mix of speaking with WH, I noticed that he is now using phrases and catch words that POSOW uses. Like, ending his sentences with the phrase, 'real nice'. As in "I'm going to have to look at it real nice". Not sarcastically, just ends sentence like that. I think it's REAL STRANGE!

Anywhoo, WH is going to have to deal with it. He cosigned, he never taught DS1 basic car maitnence (DS2 he has), he's going to have pay $$$ to have it towed somewhere and have it fixed because it's a Northstar engine. DS1 only works at Home Depot, and if he can't get to work he's going to get fired, no job, no money, no car payment.

I'm fine. Phone call did nothing but reiderate my stance on NOT talking to WH. THe way he treats his children is terrible.
Right now I seriously cannot stand the man. And after hearing him talk like HER,

Off to work soon on this SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!

P.S. WH- HUGE STEELER fan. Hope we ruined his day...teehee

you didn't need to call him

You are newly back into plan B-ish and want to cling to the old ways

but

so what IM was not available this minute
so what he cosigned
so what he is mechanical

What if he didn't exist on this planet and you had to manage situations? You should aim for this.
Not grumbling or fussing or anything. Just being still and managing methodically dealing with life's great adventures.

Yes, of course he is using verbage of the OW. He is with her a lot and absorbing the terminology......no?!(the ending of this sentence is what my wh took on from his OW so its an example......no?!) LOL.

Just be still girl.

Go dark again
and
stay dark.

I posted this with total understanding of where you are at. Really.

I should not see a post like the above one unless one of your children was in life-threatening danger.

In the event of a life-threatening injury or illness, and no one else is available to call him, then and only then would I advocate a direct call.

This is not Plan B. Not at all. This is Plan WhateverMitziefeelslikeatthemoment.

Yes unfortunately it is on most insuurance forms/apps.

Take pictures of everything and gather as much data (year/model) as you can for your own records. If he is going to sell something there could be side deals-So much cash-so the wife doesn't know-the rest with a check.

Don't know what you have but at least he can't come back and sell an item for $500 that was worth $4000 and show you a check or some other bumb excuse when the item was worth way more. Courts wont let him do that but you need proof if he "underprices" items. Says it was damnaged-defective in some way. Could only get this much..you get it

Mitzie

Seriously stay dark. The deal with WH and son was HIS deal. Let them work it out. Your son is old enough to talk to his dad isn't he? Let your son come to his own conclusions with him. You said your piece b-4 the car was bought right? Let it work out between them.

Repeated contact through PLAN MItzie is only going to leave you POed in the end regardless if you R M or not.

nESRE

Mitzie, what other reasons to call your WH can you come up with? I could come up with a TONNE of things to call my WH for, let's see, what has happened this year alone?

First, he moved in with OW after leaving me and our children, OH I WAS MAD ABOUT THAT.

He REFUSED to use IMs. Yea, I was MAD, but I also thought it was funny, because I knew that the MBers were right.

My computer connection stopped working, my computer stopped working, my oven stopped working, my dryer caught on fire, my bestfriend's father passed away, one of our friend's(orig IM) broke her hip and was in hospital, my WH dislocated his shoulder and needed surgery, my WH was in hospital with bleeding in his belly from a kidney stone that tore through his kidney, the list goes ON AND ON. Do you know how many times I contacted him about ANY of these things? NONE. Not ONE. How many times did I WANT to? ALL OF THEM. He was my rock. My orig IM, on the day of exposure said, "But you guys are like eachother's ying and yang. You compliment eachother so well." She was right. And when something comes up, I WANT my WH to help me, actually I want my DH, but he isn't there any more.

Mitzie, please, for YOU, STOP CONTACTING YOUR WH.

Great advice, Scotty. I've personalized it for me--it will save some time in the future! (Time saved because I won't contact him, not to save you time because I did.)

Sorry for the t/j, Mitzie. I understand the temptation to call. Really, I'm finding it's a mindset you have to adopt. He is not to be called at all, ever. Unless it involves the death or dire health status of your children.

Just to show that this happens to all of us - I have been in a pitch-dark Plan B since June 2008.

DS23 went to the ER one night
One of the pets died unexpectedly
A hailstorm smashed out both the skylights on my house and damaged the roof
My work computer failed and I had to replace it
DS23's embarrassing wreck of a car is still sitting in the driveway and needs work desperately
The washing machine croaked and poured water all over the floor
The pool-vac stopped working
The drip system for the backyard began malfunctioning and leaving puddles everywhere
I needed a 40-foot walkway put in from the back of the house to the front gate in order to prevent dust and mud everywhere


I could have written that myself. But all the things on the list I took care of myself, either by hiring it done or doing it myself (I put in the walkway by myself). XWH never got one call, ever.


Yes. Plan B means nothing if you keep breaking it. What would you do if he lived in China and had no phone?

You all are right.

Should have handled it myself.What I was hoping was that WH would rush right over here and fix the car so DS1 could get to work. DS1 ended up having to call off.

When I was leaving for work I heard DS1 on phone with his dad explaining what happened to car. That was a good sign right?

...fast foward to me home tonight. Asked DS1 what's going on with his car. DS1 said his dad told him it's blown up. I asked if his dad looked at the engine. Then the poor kid looked at me and said that his dad was supposed to come over but never showed. Ferkin' jerkwipe. OOOOOH I was soooo mad I wanted to jump in my car go over his house and punch is stupid face! (sorry,I'm still a little miffed when I think about that look on my son's face )

How could he do that to his own kid? Now he really is 'one of those dads'

DS1 and I discussed options about car and how to get him back and forth to work and such. We'll make it. We HAVE to.

The one bright spot of conversation with DS1 came when he told me he asked his dad if he could borrow some money to buy a beater car til he could get his engine fixed. Apparantly my WH went on a hour rant(probably more like a few minutes but the concept of time exscapes teens)about how he doesn't have any money and how much he has to pay me and how he has to pay for the car I drive and how much his rent is and on and on about how much he has to pay out for phone and bills and that makes him poor. WH must have been very specific because DS1 knew exactly how much money went for what.

Like I say, no money from WH? TrammpyHo go bye, bye. And I think he knows this. As selfish as he is, not having 'extra' money to make HER happy is going to send her back to trying to win her rich ex back (she's already trying is word on the street).

Putting up a new sig line...my mantra...I'll have to say it like 5 millions times a day, but eventually I will get it.

I like it Mitz. Ranks up there with one of my all time favorites too.....

Don't just do something-Stand there!



Good-Something you do have the ability to help your son with.


WH to SON-Blahdy blahdy blahdy blah.

Son thinking-What a duschebag. Will you help me or not?

nESRE

Mitzie, they all do this. There's no such thing as a WS who is a good parent, no matter what people say. They neglect and lie to the kids every bit as much as they do the BS.

This is another reason for learning to rely on yourself - because WH is NOT NOT NOT reliable any longer. As I said, he may as well be living in China with no phone. What would you and the kids do then?

How funny you would say that. DS1 seems to call his dad that ALOT! I really don't like it, my kids talking like that about their dad and being disrepectful....however...

WHAT A DUSCHBAG!

Well I borrowed the money for the retainer and am going to pay her Thursday.

I wasn't going to do it and just let things stay as they are until something happened. But then I spoke to my friend who is an attorney.

She made some good points about cheating husbands. They don't care about you (already knew this, but it hurt hearing it from someone 'live' as opposed to reading it online. OUCH!). They are all liars(ditto above)and if they are with a b*tch, and since all OW are, they will become a 'b*tch' too. She told me to get my a** to my attorney ASAP because WH can and will do things out spite/anger/frustration/apeasement to OW.

I don't know what he's capable of doing at this point so I borrowed the money and I'll be protected from whatever they throw my way.

Plan B seems much easier since he filed. It's as if I now know the invevidable IS going to happen and I MUST get on with MY life. When I called my attorney's office today they told me they had my copies of D papers. Once I get those in my hands...

Valentines day is gonna SUCK this year! Last year I got roses AND choco covered strawberries and we were getting ready to take our family on a cruise in two months. WHAT THE HE** HAPPENED TO MY LIFE??!!???

mitzie - Sorry to hear about your sitch. I'm with you 100% Valentine's day is going to SUCK! Last year was nice, not great, but this year..well, let's just say doing exposure about a week before the day doesn't help.

Is it wrong of me to HOPE that my WW's Valentine's day will also be bad? We had planned on having a romantic dinner at home - exposure kind of killed the mood for that. :-)

Mitzie:

Thought I would drop by your thread after our chatting on H&G's thread.

Please stay in Plan B. Your DS can deal with his FATHER to get the car fixed.

Yes, you will have to drive around DS, but that is what happens. Darling WH can get the car fixed...

There will be a reason TOMMORROW to call WH. So call him TOMMORROW. Not today.

If he only paid $500 to file, why do YOU have to pay $1,500? You might end up with much better representation, but why?

And do not back off on doing what you need to do. And do not be afraid to have your attorney ask for the sums to be garnished from WH's pay.

I can see WH deciding that he doesn't have to pay Mitzie all THAT this month....

So stay dark...

(((Mitzie)))

LG

WH filed a quickie uncontested divorce. Just to get the paper out there. This kind of D is usually filed by married people without any assets or children. I am NOT filing, don't have too for 24 months. The $1500 is the retainer for the D. It will cover me from now until 2013 when I have to file. If WH does nothing for 24 months and leaves me & kids the h#ll alone then the $1500 goes toward D. If he pulls any Sh*t then I have my representation to stop him and she pulls her hours out of the fifteen hundred.

I don't think, no I'm sure, WH knows that the $300 will NOT cover the cost of a contested D, which is what I am going to file. I'm going to be lucky if the $1500 covers MY cost and that's with me doing a lot of the footwork myself. We're no Bill & Melinda(Gates) but we have a few assets that are going to have to be split.
Most of the expensive assets, house & prop not included, are WH's toys and he'll fight tooth & nail to keep them. He can have them, as long as I get half of what they're worth!

WH's pay is already garnished. The state I'm in automatically does that when child support/spousal support/partial mtg pmt is filed.

I used to like to think I was 3 steps ahead of WH...now with whackadoo skankoo onboard barking orders...not sure. She's not intelligent, but she's smart. Like a devious conieving witch smart.

I am NOT getting involved in son/WH car problem. Yes, I have to drive his bum around...I am a mother and used to doing such things...but DS1 is 18 and needs to take on his own responsibilities. Already the last two days he's had to find his own way home. If he's got to pay people gas money to cart him, then so be it. He knows his dad's work schedule, but he would rather walk the 14 miles home then call him. Love that kid o' mine.

Today I picked up the D papers that WH filed. They looked like standard court papers. So&SO vs So&So.

But there it was...his signature...he signed them, he really, really did.

I came home and cried.

It's been 20 days since we have seen each other. We used to never go 24 HOURS without seeing each other.

When I looked at the D papers, the first thing that I thought of was, 'I wonder if she was with him when he signed this at his attorney's office'. Skankella was probably sittin' there with a great big smile on her face. Then she probably took him home and screwed his brains out. I shouldn't have thought that, but it invaded my mind.

Tonight I am heartbroken.

Mitz

Sorry

Try to get a good nites sleep on it before you do anything.

Talk it out here before you do anything.

{{{{{{{{Mitzie}}}}}}}

Your in my prayers.