Sounds like a great weekend! I hope to have grandkids someday.

I know that your schedule makes it hard, but I'd strongly suggest that you look into a divorce recovery group (or maybe a couple in different cities). While my divorce is STILL not final, I feel like I'm making real progress on my healing due to my group.

Kirby,

I hadn't really thought about going to a D recovery group, I'll give it some thought.

The WW walked in just after the superbowl,after being gone for the weekend, I plan to run away in the morning for the week and stay with my boys.

I will have to spend some time in town to work on the D stuff.
I got the questions I have to fill out for her lawyer, it will take me a month to fill that thing out !!!!! I glance at it and there is a series of questions on me cheating, women I've touched, fondled, or had sex with. Good feeling knowing I can feel that out with a clear conscience. I have to reveal my war chest, so the video is coming out,

There is at least a chance that what I have may loosen up their side......... time will tell on that one.

Update time

The old WW wanted to talk , she had several points she wanted to talk about, most of them relating to my plan B of not communicating and her trying to give me space. So we talked that out for awhile. She said she still loves me and wants to share things with me..... I said that it is wrong for us to do anything that bond us to each other, and that the "space" is helping me to recover emotionally

She threw the open relationship card back on the table, wanting me to consider it again.... Said No

She wants to set up a college account to cover the kids finishing school that we both give equally to........ I said I'd think on that one.

She said she is open to alternative settlement that allows my pay off to her to be spread over time....... I said I'm open to any alternative she wants to suggest

Then she told me that she had been dishonest with me, that when she told me about the relationship she had with an OW it was false, that she did it to help me see how far apart we were and how different our needs are,
She added that she knows how important it is to be honest under oath, and she wanted to clear that up with me, she apparently told the OW what she had done and she is aware that I might be deposing her.

I have no evidence of that A only what the WW had told me at the time, if leaves me wondering how far to push that one in court.

She was either trying to throw me off her and the POSOM or it was for real and she was coming clean with me. I think like so many lies that there are shreds of truth in what she said, trouble is where the truth stops and the lies start, and how much effort should be spent finding it out.

As I writing this I think my lawyer may be able to use it showing mental cruelty, that the WW was lying to me making a horrible situation worse, that after finding her in her 2nd A that she added this on top of it and then let it remain that way until now almost 2 years later with me thinking there was a 3rd A in the middle of all this.

This whole OW thing is pissing me off the more I think about it. She knows that I've had that weighing on me since (I looked it up fall of 2008)

I've been flashing back to the memory of the conversation we had at the time, how contrite and worried she was to tell me, how she cried at the time and hoped I could except it, that she needed me to know it as well.

No matter which way it is she was playing head games on me then or playing them now... either way it sucks.

"Knowledge is Power" just got to figure out how to use it best

Really? I mean really? Open relationship? What is with these women? Mine said something similiar at one point; she wanted us to live together and raise the kids but date other people, etc. Really? And I must have missed the OW thing in the first place, sounds like emotional cruelty to me my friend... and you're still living under the same roof as this woman? Sigh... no advice, just know that I feel your pain.

Travis

Travis'

I talked about the OW thing on my other thread when I was still in the save my marriage mode..... long since past.....

The whole open relationship thing is her fantasy cake eating life she wants me to be part of......

I'll be the perfect wife when your home .......

I'll meet all your needs.......

I just need some space to have some of my needs met that you can't meet....

I'll only do it when your not home......

You can do it to ...... get some strange if you want..... it will be great !!!!

Bwahahaha! Uh huh... Just wonderful.

I told STBXW that I wanted the opportunity to actually have a meaningful relationship with a woman at some point, not a sleazy pseudo relationship. Amazing... just plain amazing.

SC, some days I think we live in the twilight zone!

That we do

when to you PCS and did you check on which state you should live in for the D

I still haven't gotten official orders yet so I'm not sure on when but I'll definitely be living in Missouri. The tax situation is better and the waiting period is 90 days vice 6 months for Illinois. All around, looks like Missouri is going to be the better bet. As to when, I think it's going to be in May/June. Won't be any later than that I think.

SC Good to see you on.

Your WW's fantasy ranks right up there with my WW's

Sliding my new wife over when we are in bed-Boinkin my brains out-and then leaving! Where does the crap come from?

She actually told me this.

nESRE

nESRE

Good to see you too, you any closer to getting things resolved??

SC

Hasn't been that long since you were over across the other side!




How can yo tell when a WW is lying??

Come on-You know the answer......

nESRE

you too still in the house ????

and hows the DD

Moved to an apartment again this time 5m from the house. DD 17.5 wouldn't come with me. She garduates in late May and I don't know how but is on the honor roll this quarter.

I couldn't take the crazyness of WW being there-gone-drunk for days-broken promises to quit-missing work-total upheaval.

Asked her-told her-to leave and she wouldn't so I did.

Our final will be in june unless we come to an agreement first and I know you can hardly believe it she wants the moon and the stars.

Just got here about a 10 days ago and now trying to work into a new pattern. I had one slip up with her and did a rescue last week but have since stayed totally dark.

Starting to feel better. Been to tied up in her crap for too long. Gptta get back to living again.

Do you have a court date yet? Maybe I missed it in your posts before.

Good your keeping some distance but wouldn't going totally dark help more? Financially you guys must be working together yet aren't you?

That explains it!

Thanks TCC

we seem to be behaving well enough, I watch the check book close and have my pay check going to another account 1st just in case

Like you she refused to leave the house and I'm not going to either

I just find other places to be most of the time, this afternoon she wanted to talk over some of that and ask what my plans were for the next week even offered to go to her parents while I am home to give me space

we don't fight but the space still does me good!!!! I want to talk settlement with her and don't think total darkness is in my best interest right now,

I'm still watching her in hopes of getting more current stuff for my lawyer

and no we don't have a court date yet..... just doing the lawyer questions now, deps to follow after that

I take it you are not in a no fault state. I also would say your WW is staying extremely careful too. Right?

I am in a no fault 50/50 state. I think I can do better but I will not go into detail here.

WW did post for one brief day here and after ML got ahold of her and called her on her sh crap it she would not come back.

ML was right on the money w/o ever meeting her, posting. or knowing she was my WW.

TCC

LAST CALL

Are you in?

there you go.....

she'll cut right to the chase

the marital assets get and "equitable distribution" which means 50/50 unless I can get her to accept less...... not happening

the alimony has about 10 things the judge looks at and her conduct is a factor

she was ask for 600k ..... I said what planet are you from....

that's plus 1/2 the assets

and no I'm not that rich..... not even close

slow writer