Yes, she will, I already have planned that she will be here when he drops the kids off next Sunday. I almost feel like what is there left to fight for. A shell of a man who can walk out on his family. Our boys are only 2 and 5. But, I still feel so strongly about trying to save things. I just have no hope. He did not wnat That is what is sad too. The loss of hope even if I had false hope all along. Have people come back from this?

Did you ever expose to the OW's family and friends? ARe they still working together?

Mason, you're going to have to lose this loser attitude that you have. STOP BEING A DOORMAT. If you want to save this marriage you're going to have to stop being a total wuss and grow a spine! Can you do that?

They are still in the same company,I exposedupto the CEO, her family already new everything.They can no longer travel together and they had to sign a no contact with one another druing work hours. He originally told me he was willing to find a new job,now that was BS since he told me he wants a divorce. I just do not get how someone does a 180 within a months time,
MB, please tell me how I am being a doormat and I would appreciate your hard core advice on how to have a chance at savings things. I am in plan b with and IM in place. What else do I need?

This sight is my only hope. I want to have my husband bacck ane keep my family together.

And what did her family say to you EXACTLY? What are their thoughts about her shagging a married man?

They do not care, she told her family. I just need to stop him wanting to divorce me. I am not sure how I can do that. Plan B Yes. that is my only hope? I believe he is still in love with her and will not make the commitment to see if his feelings will come back for me. any advice would be appreciated.

I read on here all the time, rarely do I post because I am still in recovery and do not feel like I know enough to give anyone advice.

I am amazed at times when someone like you Mason comes here asking for advice and the vets (MelodyLane, maritalbliss, JT and others)on here who have saved countless marriages give you awesome advice and it is like you do not understand a word they say. I wonder if you are reading what they say or are so wrapped up in doing things your way that you refuse to take the only advise that could possibly save your marriage.

First let me say loud and clear CHEATERS ARE LIARS. You cannot believe a word they say. I learned that the hard way. When I read your post and you say that "she told her family and they do not care". Can you please tell me how you know this? Have you talked to her family? Did you send a letter to everyone on her Facebook page?

PLEASE go back and re-read what the vets have told you to do about exposing the affair. I sadly found MB when it was too late to do any exposing and wish I had. The only person I exposed to was to the OW's H.

I think it was maritialbliss that said to stop being a doormat and grow a spine and you need to do just that. I'm sorry if this sounds like I am being mean, I'm not. I just want you to do what the vets are telling you to.

To all the vets, not sure how you do this when it almost feels as if you are talking to a wall. I get so frustrated just reading it, can't imagine how you all feel.

HU

I have exposed to everyone. His family knows her family know, the OW is divorced and moved back in with her parents. I have listened to the advice, that is why I exposed the affair. This past month I thought I was in recovery, my husband broke it off with her, but it was a false recovery. He said he had no feelings for me anymore and wants a divorce. I came back to the site because I wanted to understand what I need to do to move forward and try to save my marriage. I blieve my husband is comapring his feelings he has for the ow andnot giving us a fighting chance.

Have you told him what your requirements are for staying in the M? This isn't over by a long shot, mason. Your H is conflicted and is terribly foggy right now. You need to show him the way home.

Unfortunately, the critical factor in this is that the two of them still work together. I don't care if they signed the Declaration of Independence - they still work together. Any time they see each other their feelings for each other will be triggered. That is why he has done this 180. There has been contact and they have resumed the affair.

I would continue Plan B and use your IM as planned. Hopefully that will be a jarring experience for him. Did you write a Plan B letter? (Sorry, I can't remember reading that.) You need to let him know that you love him and want to save your marriage, but that you will not remain in a relationship with another woman. OW has to go. And your WH will have to leave that job. Those need to be your requirements. Have you told him this?

I know he is lying but he told me he wants to be alone, he did tell me when he wanted to recover that he would leave his job, but after telling me that he does not love me anymore and he wants a divorce. It is so cruel. I did not send a plan B letter, I have not contacted him since Thursday nor do I want to. I told him on Thursday that I wanted to keep our family together and we need more time. He flat out said he does not want this. I know Plan B is the way to go. He will get legal separation papers next week and then he will know how serious this is. He knows I do not want this. I have packed his closet up in garbage bags and put them in the garage. He will be suprised when he gets the boys next wknd that he will not be allowed in the house. I am not sure a letter to him will matter at thos point. I do not think anything will change his mind. Tough pill to swallow hearing such cruel words.

I disagree, mason. I think you need to write a Plan B letter and put it with his things. Have his things sitting on the porch when he comes to pick up the kids.

Change the locks on the doors so he can't get in.

Ok, I will write one up today. I am going to change the locks. Thanks for your advice. My entire family thinks I it is over. This is the only place where may have a glimpse of hope and be able to save my marriage. Funny thing, before he told me he wanted a divorce he told me he was glad we could talk without the hostility. Little does he know we will not be talking at all. Must be the fogginess and the dillusional life he thinks he has.

Any suggestions for the Plan B letter after he already states he wants a divorce. I had one written up but it was when he was telling me he did not know what he wanted. Now his decision is divorce.

Why don't you post what you've written and let us take a look at it.

Here it is....

I would like to acknowledge and apologize for my part in the demise of our marriage. I was selfishly caught up in myself, and with my selfishness and foolishness I neglected your needs, and I failed over and over to give you what you needed. I want you to know that no matter how bad the past has been, no matter how ugly things may have gotten, I know that we can get past it.

Over the past year I have endured the hurt and pain caused by your affair, but I will not do so any more. Every day that passes with your continued contact and involvement with her and our marriage in limbo only continues to weaken the love and respect that I have for you. The path that I must take now is one of both choice and self preservation. With all my heart, I would like to build a new marriage with you. A marriage in which we both feel loved, safe, and respected. I simply will not continue my efforts to rebuild our marriage while you are still involved with her.

I know that we can only fully rebuild our marriage when there are only 2 people in the relationship, you and I. There is no room in my marriage to you for additional parties, Lori included. Until you are willing not to have any emotional, physical or sexual contact with her, I will no longer communicate with you, except through Sharon. I am taking these steps to protect the love and respect that I have for you and any chance we have at recovery as well as my emotional stability.

This is pretty good, but how about a few tweaks?

Also, remember: say what you mean, and mean what you say. When you start Plan B you go dark. NO communication with your WH. Block his phone number. Change your email. Don't discuss him with your IM. She is there to filter out his drama. The only thing you want her to report to you is when he indicates that he has ended the A with the OW and wants to return to work on the M. Permitting him to contact you directly will undermine your efforts and show him that you don't really mean what you say. Waywards capitalize on wishy-washy actions by their spouse.

Marritalbliss edits meet Pep approval.

In other words, this affair has not been exposed to them and is another important step that has been skipped. How do you plan on saving your marriage if you won't take the advice here?

I would send the Plan B letter, change the locks, and then finish exposing the affair. This affair has not even been exposed to the OW's parents, as was suggested long ago.