LoveCAG, this post is not helpful in the least. There is nothing to indicate that his ex is crazy. There is no reason to disrupt his children and take them out of their home, only to move to another house and have the conditions remain the same. And he has not indicated that he wants to reconcile - quite the opposite. I have no idea where you're coming from with all your STD talk.

ed, it sounds like XWW is still trying to have it both ways and wants to continue having two men feed her ENs. This is just an attempt at more cake-eating.

Ignore the messages, or else forward them to her boyfriend. Then get yourself an intermediary to use for necessary communication regarding the kids.

Plan B - it ain't just for married folks anymore.

well its too late to offer opinions -- since you did #3.

But I would have done a 2/3 combo. I would have responded to her with a strong "hell no, skank" and copied OM on it.

But 3 alone is good too.

I'd write her and say, "It's over. I'm moving on with my life. I don't want you back in my life no matter what. I will not be used by anyone ever again, especially by you. Leave me alone unless it's an emergency. You can figure out other parenting issues on your own. I don't get feelings of nostalgia for you. I don't miss you in any way. I don't want you back in my life in any way. Don't ask again. Everytime you do, I will forward it to any man you're seeing."

Then go dark and simply ignore any attempts by her to communicate.

Martital Bliss, I see nothing wrong with LoveCAG's post.

Sane people do not act like this. It is a common belief that WS's are affected by varying degrees of insanity, irrationality and poor decision making.

If his wife lives literally 2 minutes away, he might get more peace of mind not having her in such close proximity.

My apologies guys, I didn't mean to lose my cool

I'd say that this is NOT helpful:
Sure they do. She's their mother and she has visitation. Nothing like screwing up the kids even further by painting their mother as a 'toxic wretch.'


But he hasn't said a word about her stalking them, slashing tires, none of that. I've re-read his posts and don't see any point where he's uncomfortable with their proximity.

What he has posted are the actions of a typical wayward who wants to have and eat their cake. So he's going to remove his children from their home...why?

Ed has encouraged this. He responds to her emails. He responds to her texts. He divorced and then had her living with him less than two months later.

He has yo-yo'ed back and forth and left her so many openings that it's no wonder she's still riding the fence. He was still outlining what it would take to get back together, months after the divorce was final. This was not lost on his WW.

I suspect Ed would still want to try again. And I think she knows this.

I'm not used to defending the actions of waywards, but Ed, if you don't want her to text you, don't respond to her texts. Same with emails. I'm not even sure how she can have your email address at this point.

I happen to be the son of a toxic wretch. I am pleased that no contact was established with her many years ago in my life and has been mostly maintained.

I think waywards should forfeit the right to their children.

I don't think it helps children to try to encourage them to have a relationship with the person who torpedoed their family, although I don't think they should be prohibited from it, either.

I don't know the specifics of this case, just saying that I see nothing wrong on the face with the thought. Sure, all kids need a mother and a father, but some of us get stuck with a toxic wretch.

But that hasn't happened here. Ed's ex has privileges with the kids. And she's not a slavering lunatic. I've seen no post to indicate that she is an danger to anyone. She's just his ex-wayward. And she's getting a lot of signals from him that may be conflicting. Ed has not placed firm boundaries with her. For all we know, they could end up remarrying. Then the kids will really need an explanation.

So here was my crazy ex's reply to me after I forwarded her e-mail to OM.... She is truly insane.

i didn't tell you that I miss you, moron. I was just saying that I DO have a soul and I do feel bad for what I did.
Your response is just a perfect example of what a complete [censored] you are. I am happy to not be with you any more. Like I said, I couldn't even sleep when you were in the same bed with me.... You are a moron. Good riddance.

On another note, she has demonstraed some "crazy" behavior. She keyed my car after I called her a dirty skank while we were going through the divorce. She has some serious issues...not sure what to make of her. Personality disorder maybe? If the crazy starts to come out again, my lawyer will be in touch with her about taking away her visitation rights.

I read what she sent you and then read her psycho reaction to forwarding to OM.

Honestly, the best thing you can do in every way is ignore her texts unless they meet the criteria of someone about to die or there's blood somewhere.

If she calls, ask, "Is someone about to die? Is there blood somewhere? No? Then there's no need for us to talk."

Then hang up.

Do this enough times and she'll get the message.

I agree with helpthelostdads here, I just wouldn't engage in conversations with her..
Living a better life than the one you had with her is the best revenge. Do it enjoy it.........

Ooookay, I'm not so big that I can't admit when I'm wrong.
I guess she is a little crazier than a typical wayward.

.... i was so ready to go "gotcha" and then i see u already beat me to that last post.

darn you!

No you were right MaritalBliss. I think the crazy one is actually Ed himself. What's the old line about doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result?

Ed, you're divorced, yet you continue to let your XW walk all over you and to disrupt your life on a regular basis. What do you get out of this? I mean, you must get SOMETHING out of it to let it continue well after your divorce. It's like you are walking around with a sign on that says kick me.


Your words Ed. But actually it is YOU that continues walking down this road for whatever reason.

I think you misunderstood the context of what I was saying. She sent me her crazy email to see if the door was open to get back in my life. It is most definitely not. I have given her chances to make things right and it was always the same old story. I am NOT going down that road ever again.

I was just looking for guidance on how to deal with her insanity as I move on with my life. Forwarding the email to om seems to have put an end to her games for the time being. I will just ignore any craziness going forward and keep communication to issues involving the kids.

Ed, You've come a long way. It's a process. I'm glad you're at this point right now.

My advice is to stay away from women for a good while. Discover yourself again. Take music lessons. Learn to dance. Learn the guitar. Become a gym god.

It's all part of the healing process. Then, when you finally get comfortable not dating and just being alone and with your kids you'll find love again.

Just stay away from women for now. They're trouble in your current state of healing and you won't be able to objectively pick one to date and may hook up with someone you shouldn't.

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Just stay away from women for now. They're trouble in your current state of healing and you won't be able to objectively pick one to date and may hook up with someone you shouldn't.

Very good advice, start with staying away from your XW.

No, I understood what you were saying. You're divorced Ed; usually the only contact with an Ex post-divorce entails short terse conversations about the kids, hand-offs at visitation times and random sightings at the mall. Doesn't sound like your situation now does it?

Change the locks on the door, tell her she ain't welcome chez Ed and move on with your life.