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Thank you PrincessMeggy. :-)
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Thank you, NewCreation! A wonderful post.
May I translate it (some day, when I have more time at hand) and post it on the most visited family portal in our country?
I really hope it will raise much discussion, although many rebuttals are expected as well. Sadly, changing spouses is similar to changing cars in our country. Er, wait... cars may be changed less often! Affairages are so common that almost no-one even cares. So the contempt from extended families is quite rare. But the BS and the children are harmed despite the public attitude.
Anyway... If this letter touches and stirres the mind of at least one AP, it will have served its purpose. And this is some powerful message you've got there.
Me: FWW 31
DH: BH 32
M: April 2001
DSs b 2005 and 2006
EA began summer~autumn 2009, D-Day1 Feb 2010
EA went uglier until NC-letters mid-June 2010
Discovering MB site end of June 2010
D-Day 2 Jul 7, 2010, followed by 2 other D-days (Jul 14, 2010, and Jul 31?, 2010)
Falling back in love - or so it seemed...
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NewCreation,
Thanks for sharing your wrenching story.
I believe that God can work good out of bad things, and it just could be that your story changes some hearts and marriages.
We're all sinners - it's just that some of us get real enough with ourselves to acknowledge it and try to live better.
Good luck.
Formerly ConfuzedHusband
BH
WW (Now XW)
Married 4 years, No children.
EA/PA from 2/2008 to 5/2008.
DDay: 5/17/2008 - Separated 6/1/2008 - Filed 8/3/2008
Divorce final 3/2009.
Now in a committed relationship with a woman of character who loves me so much better and deeper than I ever dreamed possible. I had no idea what I was missing out on and am so grateful God gave me a free "second chance" at love and life.
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Put the initial post of this thread on the other website that is designed for people in current affairs. If you have any doubt the name of this website, goggle "the other woman".
Title it as you have titled it here. MAYBE it will touch one person in a current affair.
My brother had two failed marriages - at least one due to his own cheating. He then spent 5 years working on himself. Since then, he has been in his current marriage for more than 30 years.
AM
BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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Sorry if I sound abrupt, but I am having a hard time finding anything interesting about this post.
There is not direct experience here. The poster is not saying: my H started cheating on me after this # of years we were together.
She is just narrating what could happen to an affaraige...but did it actually happen in her real life? If so how?.
It would have been nicer to hear her true story, how did the A start, how long ago did they marry. What is actually happening now in the M. Is the H cheating....?
Are they both D and do they have kids in common or only from previous M...? and how are the kids doing?
I could have written this post. If you do not give real life examples it is all guess work.
blessing
Last edited by atena; 02/18/11 07:40 AM.
atena
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Aetna, she has put her real life story out there. It's on another post.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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atena
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Oh, for goodness' sake...... http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2478719&page=1NC2011, I for one am going to thank you, without reservation. I'll go beyond that - I hope you and your estranged husband reconcile, using the MB principles if feasible. Your husband's ex-wife has moved on, and remarried. (Happily?) There are too few days in any of our lives to spend many of them in regret and self-denigration. You and your husband had something good once; I wish you strength and succes in relocating it.
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All and all this post tells me also how unrepentant the twice WH is!!!!
Even OW came to her senses...but not the WH!!
This really tells us that misery is in the mind of the beholder.
I seriuosly do not think these WH have anywhere close the idea of the type of pain, guilt and hurt that all the other people in their lives seem to experience (again, even OW)
I am more and more convinced that the WH is the embodiment of today's attitudes and low integrity trends.
The personify the "self centered" being that is so appealing to a lot of people nowdays. The "do what makes you happy" kind of fellow...with no regards for the rest.
blessing
atena
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Put the initial post of this thread on the other website that is designed for people in current affairs. If you have any doubt the name of this website, goggle "the other woman".
Title it as you have titled it here. MAYBE it will touch one person in a current affair.
My brother had two failed marriages - at least one due to his own cheating. He then spent 5 years working on himself. Since then, he has been in his current marriage for more than 30 years.
AM I was just thinking the exact same thing. Do this! But DO NOT mention this site!
Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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Put the initial post of this thread on the other website that is designed for people in current affairs. If you have any doubt the name of this website, goggle "the other woman".
Title it as you have titled it here. MAYBE it will touch one person in a current affair.
My brother had two failed marriages - at least one due to his own cheating. He then spent 5 years working on himself. Since then, he has been in his current marriage for more than 30 years.
AM I was just thinking the exact same thing. Do this! But DO NOT mention this site! She'll just get banned and the post will be removed. You're not allowed to post anything over there that isn't 100% supportive of the OW staying in their A's.
Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
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Put the initial post of this thread on the other website that is designed for people in current affairs. If you have any doubt the name of this website, goggle "the other woman".
Title it as you have titled it here. MAYBE it will touch one person in a current affair.
My brother had two failed marriages - at least one due to his own cheating. He then spent 5 years working on himself. Since then, he has been in his current marriage for more than 30 years.
AM I was just thinking the exact same thing. Do this! But DO NOT mention this site! She'll just get banned and the post will be removed. You're not allowed to post anything over there that isn't 100% supportive of the OW staying in their A's. Good grief....well at least a few people will see it before it gets removed. Worth a try, IMO.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. 
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Put the initial post of this thread on the other website that is designed for people in current affairs. If you have any doubt the name of this website, goggle "the other woman".
Title it as you have titled it here. MAYBE it will touch one person in a current affair.
My brother had two failed marriages - at least one due to his own cheating. He then spent 5 years working on himself. Since then, he has been in his current marriage for more than 30 years.
AM I was just thinking the exact same thing. Do this! But DO NOT mention this site! She'll just get banned and the post will be removed. You're not allowed to post anything over there that isn't 100% supportive of the OW staying in their A's. Good grief....well at least a few people will see it before it gets removed. Worth a try, IMO. x2
Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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For those of you who have not seen another repentant Wayward Wife on the MB BOARDS???
-Mrs. Wondering
-Schoolbus
-and one Vet that everyone keeps forgetting was a WW.....she'll tell on herself I'm sure.
SB
S
Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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Repentant OW, not repentant WW.
It's non-repentant waywards that don't survive here.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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I really liked this perspective. Very eye opening to say the least....
Married 7, Separated summer 2010
me, BW: 31
WH: 31
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I find what you wrote very interesting. When I first opened your thread, I expected to see some satiric writing. I did not expect the honest-feeling information you conveyed. I checked out your original thread, and like this one, and I actually think you may "get it." I am no fan of the OW, like (I'd assume) all BW's, but you intrigue me. I think you're sincere in your warning/writing. Your pain of what your part in the A was shows through. Sadly, though, I doubt other OW would get what you are saying, more likely think you are full of it. Sad, but probably true.
Thank you for sharing.
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My stepmother likes to tell the story of how she babysat my brother when he was 3 years old. She says he stood in the bathtub saying "I want my milk!" and she says "All I could think was 'I want one of those!'"....so she took my father from us. How is that for selfishness? She never got one of those because my father didn't want any more children. She's now 65 and childless taking care of a frail 85 year old man. She got everything NewCreation2011 outlined in her post. Forty years of it.
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is this what my WW has to look forward to??? i often wonder, you see, i'm not sure someone who is an active participant in splitting up two families (hers/mine w/ 2 kids and his w/ 3 kids) is capable of feeling these types of feelings. this seems to be the exception and not the norm.
my ww is on the verge of making the biggest mistake of her life. its sad to know that this may be a description of the second half of her life.
when i was dragged to a child psychologist a few weeks ago one of the more interesting momments was when the counselor looked at me and said i would be fine but then looked at my wife and said she needed help because she would be dealing with this for the rest of her life.
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For those of you who have not seen another repentant Wayward Wife on the MB BOARDS???
-Mrs. Wondering
-Schoolbus
-and one Vet that everyone keeps forgetting was a WW.....she'll tell on herself I'm sure.
SB
S and I would add my own wife to the list... Grace4me, as truly repentant.
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