I'd just like to say again Scotty, that you are an amazing person. Your thread will be in the MB Hall of Fame for years and a great source of comfort for those who come behind you. Hope you're enjoying a GREAT weekend!

I had to work today. Tired. BUT, IT'S MARCH BREAK. So I will sleep in tomorrow and spend some quality time with the kiddos.

DSx2 let me know that since I was "blessed" seeing OW in the car with Bampot a few weeks ago, she has continued to be in the car every time. ARGH. I find it so disrespectful. It is the first thing that really peeved my mom off, if you can believe it. I joked that Bampot should leave her on the corner with the rest of the street walking trash. My boxing trainer told me that I am better than that. By that, he meant that I was better than calling her names and stooping low. He's right, I am.

Finished reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I have started HP: Order of the Phoenix and it is the first one that I haven't seen the movie for first.

She's a typical OW. She may be in the car now to make SURE that WH doesn't try and stop one day to talk to you. They're very insecure and suspicious creatures. Wonder why that is? *g*

I know. Doesn't make it any less disrespectful though. I don't look out, so I don't actually see them there. DSx2 don't like it, especially DS10. That's the reason they even mentioned it to me. We don't really talk about anything that happens. They talk about their feelings and things that bothered them, but if they don't tell, I don't ask.

I am moving in the right direction, and that is all I ask of myself. One foot in front of the other, one step at a time. Like the saying goes, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."

This is one of the things that I hold onto. Thanks Peachy

Well, Scotty, I KNOW I'm getting better... yes, one foot in front of the other. How can I tell? Well, I just finished watching The Bachelor season finale. I pretty much watched the ENTIRE SEASON -- even the episode on Valentine's Day.

See -- after all the crap I've been through, I still believe in love and romance -- even if it's reality hype and the couple never end up getting married.

But just because I was able to watch tells me that I want to be in a relationship again. I want to go on a date and have fun with a man again. No -- I don't want to share him with a house of females all competing for the same man like the program, but I want to find someone.

Believe me. When I first found out about the affair, I couldn't focus on ANYTHING. I watched little TV at all because my mind was going a 100 miles an hour with thoughts and pictures that just kept popping in my head non-stop. And I spent hours and hours on the phone rehashing this and that and telling every friend and family members what happened that day.

Now -- three years later (OK, I'm VERY slow at this), I feel good and my mind is clear. I look back at how tramatized I was back at the beginning and where I am now. My friends and family definitely see a change. I am focused on me.

So there is hope for us BS's out there. I know I have to get divorced first before the real magic can happen, but I'm OPEN and OPTIMISTIC that a great guy is out there just for me. I not only believe in love, but I believe in a BETTER LOVE than the one I had for nearly 30 years with WH. That, my friend, is HUGE in my book. I never thought I'd say that.

Nice post Holyheart, it helps those of us who are not quite there yet, imagine the possibilities.
It also helps to know that the craziness I felt and still do just not as intensely, is normal.

I was like that too. I cringe now because I know I must have neglected my son to a degree because I was on the phone so much. Almost 2 years later I am sooooooo much better. I don't even always repeat my interactions with XH to my mom.


It is huge and I am happy to hear you say this. What is the hold up on the divorce? Because I definitely think 3 years is enough time of being seperated to get your head and heart in the right place for a new relationship--when-as you said, the divorce is final.

Just checking in to say that life in Scotty-ville is.....life. Things have been happening all around me. Some of it bad, some of it good, and some of it devastating.

I have been thinking about things lately. One thing I noticed is that 15 months is a LONNNNNNNG time, and 15 months isn't really that long. Huh? Well, I think about how far I have come on those 15 months, and it is AMAZING. Then I think, it really wasn't that long ago, when you think about it.

On the Bampot front, he is still fulfilling his duties financially. He still calls DS10 every night, whether DS10 answers or not. This week, DS10 has actually spoken to Bampot 3 days in a row. That is a first in almost 2 months. I noticed, since I am human, that Bampot has attempted to call EVERY SINGLE NIGHT since DS10 stopped talking to him all of the time. And when DS10 answers, Bampot usually only talks for a few minutes before saying "bye." Sometimes, DS10 says, "I want to talk to you more." And sometimes he doesn't. Usually, if he does, Bampot will talk to him for a few more minutes, but it is still less than 10 minutes. How does someone go from having their children be the center of their universe to someone who sees them for about 60 hours a month and speaks to them, on average, 100 minutes a month? I just don't get waywards, and I hope I never do.

On a positive note, no one's asked me if I have started dating, in a few months. Now that I mentioned it, someone is sure to bring it up tomorrow.

Take care. Live life. That's what I am doing each and every day. Making the best life I can for me and my children.

ETA(since I am a positive person and I don't want to always seem negative), Bampot bought shoes for DS8(even though I have some) and he didn't need to ask DS10 to ask me what size he needed. Anyone remember that from last year? HEHEHEHEHEHE

Wondered what you were up to, Scotty. Thanks for the update!

Keep making the best life you can for you and your kiddos.

Was thinking about you also. You sound good. Glad to hear it.

You're doing great!!!

One day at a time. Towards a beautiful future! Maybe Bampot will in time, rejoin you and your children in this beautiful future, but maybe there is simply a different and amazing new future ahead!

Keep your heart always open

Good for you, Scotty!

So, yesterday, I checked the mailbox. I hadn't checked it since Thursday. I received a letter from the government about needing more proof that Bampot doesn't live here. They want me to prove that Bampot hasn't lived here since Dec/09. I am going to need to be creative about it.

Then, this morning, DS8 gave me a hard time about going to school. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt and he didn't want to wear a jacket. I told him that he couldn't leave the house with a short sleeved shirt on. I actually walked out of the house and stood at the corner(4 houses away) and waited for him to come out.

As I was standing at the corner, that OM/MM from the school was standing with a couple and another man. They were talking. Then, OM/MM saw me standing at the corner. Whenever I have seen him alone, he wouldn't even look in my direction, and he crosses the street instead of walking past me. Apparently, with these "friends" aka. encouragers of the A, he found some courage. He started saying, quite loudly, "I have a wife AND a girlfriend." They all laughed. He then said, "It's okay though, my wife knows about the girlfriend. I can't be doing anything wrong when my wife doesn't care that I have a girlfriend." I was SOOOOOOO angry. He kept looking at me. I knew what he was trying to get to me, but I kept my cool. I walked back to my house and DS8 was on his way out.

I walked him up to school, went inside and then he wouldn't go to class. He is having a bad day today. So I brought him home. He kept telling me that he didn't want to go to school because he would miss me too much. And to think, just last week I was thinking that it had been a while since he had a bad day. To parenthood.

Oh, BTW, I finished reading the Harry Potter series on Saturday night, and I am sad. I KNEW that it was the last book, but I am sad that it is over. I started reading The Gargoyle, by Andrew Davidson. I'll let you know what I think when I am done that one. Anyone have any suggestions for other books/series that I should read.

I've always wondered how you prove a negative. I had a client who had to prove her husband didn't live there. Some bills were still in his name because they were behind and they wouldn't "reconnect" them in her name until she paid the owed ammount which she couldn't do. As her caseworker, I went and advocated for her but I don't know what a normal person does.I think they should have to prove he IS living there...

Scotland, I follow your story and you are dong well. I congratulate on not going over to OM/MM and decking him. I don't know if I would do the same.

Stand tall. You are a good Mom to your kids and they have a great roll model while these WS wallow in their own garbage.

As far as I know, which being in Plan B, I can't be certain, he hasn't even changed his license.

We don't have a legal separation, and none of the bills had been changed. I can't buy him out of the house.

Funny thing is, they are asking me to prove where I live. I have lived in this house for the past 12 years. I didn't go anywhere. What does proving where I live do to show that Bampot doesn't live here? I am going to give them what they ask for, I just don't know how it will help.

My original IM, the last time I spoke to her, had told me that Bampot hadn't picked up the his mail from the government. It was the same papers I had received about proving that he didn't live here.

I am going to just give them what they asked for, and let them figure it out for themselves.

Waywards suck azz(haven't said that in a while).

I told my friend, as I was leaving the school with DS8 in tow, that had it been on my way home from the school, I may not have been able to control my temper. All I did was look at them.

Hi Scotty! If you like YA stuff, the Hunger Games series (3 books) was GREAT! Check out the reviews on amazon. Very hard to put down