The risk you take when you sin....

Repentence isn't yogurt... it doesn't have a shelf-life, or an expiration date. The thief on the cross KNEW he was going to die, and that he would die soon - like a cancer patient finding God in the last 6 months.

Repentance is in your heart, not in your datebook or on your pocket watch.

Thanks for that Loveisachoice....I tend to think too deeply about a lot of stuff....but truly, I do feel bad about sex before M with my WH....BUT....Do I feel repentent for the right reasons....If I think too deeply about it I dont think so...


I am sorry about it because I wonder if it had something to do with WHs waywardness.....but other than that, IDK....Who did it really hurt, me?....I know its a sin....I just dont know if i am sorry about it for the right reasons....I wont do it again...I know that...

Am I thinking too much into it?

Thanks...I didnt know I would get a response from the Devil ...(I am referring to your cute little icon)...

Now THAT was funny, Stilly!

Mrs. W

Teeheehee....

Thank you, thank you everyone. Especially thank you to LoveIsAChoice for posting that old hymm. I can hear my grandma singing it and it has brought me to tears.

I have been debating this issue with the heaviest of hearts for so long and I feel like through you all God has finally given me a peace today about what I can do. I believe I can reconcile with my husband and work on our marriage.

I know there are still going to be those of you who disagree but your input has been just as valuable to me as those who think I can have a restored marriage AND a restored relationship with Christ.

The things that have really stood out to me in these debates here have been the all powerful forgiving power of God. I have always believed in His power of forgiveness but could not reconcile staying with my husband because of the "go and sin no more" argument. Now, after reviewing the situation with David and Bathsheba I realize that God's forgiveness wipes the slate clean. How could Bethseba be any less "ill gotten" gains than my husband is to me. David KILLED her husband. That doesn't make their situation better or release someone's marriage contract. Sin is sin to God. We as humans classify which sins are worse. God does not.

Psalm 103:12
..as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

The above verse applies, even to me! Praise God!!!!! What a weight to finally realize this, even to me!!

Galatians 2:16
..know that a person is not justified by the works of the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law, because by the works of the law no one will be justified.

I can spend the rest of my life wallowing in remorse for sins that God has already forgiven and taxing my brain and my soul in an attempt to follow the works of the law. Or, I can accept the grace and forgiveness that Jesus gave His own life for and be free. I think God's intention for me is the latter.

I can't believe after all this time, all the counseling, and pastoral sessions it has finally come to me here. Through you all!!!

I do realize that I will always have earthly consequences for my adultery. I know that to my human peers it still reeks. I am not trying to glamorize my sin, only the amazing power of God to heal and restore our soul.

I don't think I can be much of a witness considering the circumstances of my affair. Someone here, and forgive me for not remembering who, pointed out that it could inadvertently be seen as an endorsement for "affairage" because we would still be together. I DO NOT want to do that. I will leave it up to God where and how he uses me. My life is laid out before him. He knows me inside and out and I will wait on his leading as to where he uses me.

I will continue with my plan to confess to my children. I will be sharing all of this with my husband. I will also wait until God shows me the appropriate time and manner in which to repent to the BW. He will know when it is the right time and I am going to listen very carefully.

I never expected in coming here to be uplifted in this way. I know that at least some of you have been praying for me. Thank you so very much.

I would love to be able to stick around here. Maybe I can let you posters let me know when my thoughts might be helpful somewhere. Otherwise I will just stick to my own thread.

NewCreation

NC...how is your relationship with your AP's children? Will your continued presence in their father's life affect them negatively...continue to cause them hurt?

:p



Hey, everybody; let's just venture to guess that 11 years later that her WH probably isn't going to have a chance to reconcile w/ his former BW, who has remarried.

NC stated she was fully divorced when she became entangled in the A with what is now her H/WH.

11 years. I would say that is a tad beyond the high average lifespan of affairs/affairages.

She has been gracious enough to be completely honest where she is coming from, and she seems to want to make the best she can out of where she is.

Can we MB that?

Glad to hear this. (I hope he doesnt repeat his pattern)




This is true. As your other post (If you are thinking of marrying your affair partner) says so well....it didn't turn out like what you imagined.



I don't think of your story as an endorsement for affairages. To the contrary...who would want to go through the pain you have suffered (self inflicted though it is) I can assure you though that you will trigger BSs at times. I would think you would have valuable insight to share with WSs on the brink.


I assume his children are now grown. I think apologies to his children and to your own would go a long ways toward restoring your peace. To the BW....I'm unsure of that one either way.

Peace to you.

Yes....First she needs to decide if she wants to same the M....

Then I think some info...like about his A....and why they are now separated....

She might want to even try counseling with the Harleys, if she wants to try and save her M....I know for me, it might just be a little hard for me to be nonjudgemental...But others might be able to help her....

Bitter...thats the word I am looking for...I am bitter...

Considering your situation, I couldn't blame you.

So are you also saying that a bank robber can repent for stealing the money, while still SPENDING the money?

He needs to re-pay the bank in order to fully repent AND be forgiven, IMHO. This seems like common sense, no?

How can you fully repent when you are STILL COMMITTING THE CRIME?

Ahhhhhh, MarriedForever.....I needed you here earlier.....


EXACTLY!!!!!!!!

I believe he is currently wayward. They are living in separate houses.

My step-children are both grown now. I have apologized without conditions to them both. One I am on good terms with, the other I am not. The bad feelings though are not about the affair. We had a period of time while she lived with us that we got along great. The bad feelings are from discipline issues during the late teen years that she has not gotten over yet.(No one was physically punished or anything else cruel or unusual just to be clear.) I am currently trying to reconcile that relationship to an at least cordial place but have been firmly rejected so far.

Just this past hour I had the opportunity to sit down and confess my past to my 17 year old daughter. Scotland! I wanted to make sure you see I did it! It was very hard but you were right it was necessary. She wasn't nearly as upset with me as I feared. She was uncomfortable. She said she knew it was wrong and that at least I was trying to something about it. She also said she loved me just the same and always would. *sigh* What a wonderful child. I left the door open for questions if she has any later.

Now I have to speak with my son. That should be the last person left to confess to until such time as God see's fit to have me speak to BW. My son is engaged to be married. At first I was only going to talk to him, because it is humiliating mostly. But, the more I have thought about it I am going to speak to them together because if ever there is a lesson you need to hear before embarking on a marriage, this is it. I just hope that I will not be ruined forever in my future DIL's eyes.

Can we MB what exactly?

Some of the BSs here are only going to be able to view this from the BW in this situation's perspective. She continues to be hurt and offended by NewCreations presence in her life and wants nothing for her children or herself to do with the NC...and I can only say if I was in her position I would probably feel the same way.

No matter how many years they are married or how sincere NC seems, I can't seem to muster up more than that when I look at this thread other than to feel sad about how people were/may be triggered when they read it...

NC ~ PLEASE have the courtesy of NOT asking for help on these boards. There are far too many in terrible pain right now from a spouse's affair...this would be ridiculously cruel.

If you want help from MB, please do it in private, from the Harley's. I am sincerely asking you do not do this on these boards. You will not get the help you need on these boards, trust me.