Thanks, I am trying, it had only been two weeks since he told me he was done, I am hoping in two more weeks I will be that much better. It is just hard to make sense out of nonsense. He is missing so much of the boys' lives. How do you live with yourself, all for a chick in Cleveland.

I know in Plan B you are not suppose to hear anything about him, but his friend sent me a text asking how I was doing. Then he said that he thought that my hsuband did really try and that since he felt no "chemistry" between us he in panic ran back to her (OW). Tough to hear again, although I told him after only going to dinner twice and giving up after one week was not really trying. I asked he thought he was happy, he said I do not think he knows if he is happy or not. I think the OW gave him an ultimatum, if you come back make sure you tell your wife you want a divorce. Again, trying to make sense out of this nightmare.

Stay in Plan B, if your husband is confused, let him go back and have the OW try to meet his needs, watch how quickly it all falls apart when she is pressuring him and demanding things to be a certain way and not filling the needs he has that she doesn't want to meet.........REALITY..............
Sit back for now..........

You don't need to hear garbage like this, mason. This does you absolutely no good. And it's probably your WH using his friend to get this garbage to you. The next time someone texts you to see 'how you're doing' stop them from going any further.

"I'm doing as well as can be expected. I prefer not to discuss this right now. Thank you for respecting my wishes."

I know, I am sitting back. One other note he has not been to an attourney yet. Not sure why, he was crystal clear. Apparently he wanted me to wrap my head around the last few weeks. Really??

Ok, I got into his personal email. (could not help myself) and found out while we were suppose to be working on things he made reservations to stay an extra night in New Orleans while he and OW are there for work not until June but he was thinking ahead tomake OW happy. Also that is his wknd with the boys. Not helping him with that, ever! It just solidifies he was never on board to save our marriage, he could not wait to run back to his other life with zero responsibilities. I wish this nightmare would end. If I did not have kids it would be so much easier.

mason, stop looking at that stuff if you're in Plan B!

I know, I am now done. That was the last of it. I need to become numb to it all. Old habits die hard.

Okay, if you promise. I didn't mean to sound like I was yelling

Thank You!!!!! Appreciate the support so much. My family and friend ar so sick of me. Eight months is a long time to be talking about the same thing. I repeat myself over and over again trying to get it all out.

Kind of sad this weekend again, thinking of him being with her still stings so much. I just can not wait for the day when I do not think about it anymore, it is so hard all I want is someone to really love me again and I feel like I will never have that, he has given it all away to someone else. I know it will get better with time, reading everyone's posts tells me that. I want to have a success story so badly, but really do not see that ever happeneing, he is so sucked in. I feel like it is just so easy for him to escape to his other life he is building with her. I took all of the pictures down of us and him with the kids, too sad to look at how our family used to be... Replaced them with all new pictures of the boys. I know plan b is the best place to be, looking back I let him walk all over me and was almost like his friend while he kept lying to me. When we were in false recovery he could not even spend a night here with me and the boys and he is with her for 4 days straight, it makes me so sick. Just need to rant a little, I am so angry.
I read one post where someone said that WS threaten divorce but rarely take action. I hope that is the case with me and Plan B really works. Not sure why I have this strange sense of hope, when the reality of his actions tells me there is none.

Need some insight, in plan b and husband refuses to take kids to my sisters last night so I can pick them up.He was mad because my son told him I was away for the night. Why? Inever know where he is. I was but was on a work trip, had my sister watch the kids for me (he was returning from seeing Cleveland . My husband pick them up from daycare to take them to dinner. He started texting me like crazy questioning where I was and telling me he was keeping the boys if I was not coming home. I had already told him I was and had a work dinner. He was going crazy sayinghe was waiting for me at the house. I told him to go home and after what he has put me through to respect my wished for once. He finally left. Heasangry he found his stuff in the garage. Not sure why he is angry, he chose this, this is what he wants. Not sure why he could not have gotten the kids for dinnerand dropped them off at my sisters and end it there. Any insight would be appreciated.

Sounds to me like he's not liking his lack on control in Plan B. I'd say to stay calm and keep doing what you're doing.

But if you're in Plan B you shouldn't be getting texts from him. AND you responded to him. How's that happening? Where's your IM?

I only answered him twice, new he had the kids, he would not talk to my IM. With having such young boys, I get nervous about emergencies. I am calm and gave him one response answer. I just am trying to get better, he should be happy that he is free from me and day to day responsiblities. Is Plan B working?? Just suprised he just left the OW on Monday and started this nonsense the very next day. I told him to leave me alone. It was like he was trying to have a stand off with me. He is still FOGGY, all I was thinking does he really want a divorce. Did he not have a great weekend with OW? He also checked my Frequent flier acct, got a notice with from my acct to change my password. Why is he snooping on me??

Yes, STOP READING HIS TEXTS. Delete them. If a text comes throug, call your IM and have her send him a text that he needs to send any messages through her because you aren't reading his texts.

FORCE him to go through the IM.

Did you change the locks?

You are right, need to get back on the Plan B wagon full force. The attny I went to said do not change the locks, you are getting more money now than you normally would get if you were divorced. Do not rock the boat.

I need to realize if he does want to talk to me it will be about recovery of our marriage not about the BS he was pulling yesterday. This is why I am posting, need to get focused again.

He's snooping on you because you've kinda/sorta changed the rules and waywards don't like that. They like to be in control. You've seen a difference in what you've done so far, right? And what you're doing is a lukewarm Plan B. He knows you're up to something - you've caught his attention. Now he's testing you to see if you mean it, and by being available to him you're showing him that you don't. Your attempts will fail with this half-hearted attempt.

Mason. You are defeating your long-term goal with short-term waffling. Tighten up your Plan B, woman! Close every crack, every loophole and go guns a'blazing on this!

I will and thank you for the support. He has the kids this weekend and will not be here again. I will have my sister waiting when him when he drops the kids off. You are right I should not have anwered but when he is driving around with my boys in the car going crazy on me it makes me nervous. You are right about changing the rules. I am back on the Plan B bus. I was overwhelmed yeserday with work and traveling and he through me off guard. Does everyone fall off the Plan B track once and awhile?
I guess I must have gotten his attention, it has only been three weeks of rule cahnging. I think he is getting a dose of reality of what divorcing me will look like. NO friend and no contact.
He will be dead to me.

It happens, mason. And it's typically regretted afterward.

No matter. That's history right now. Climb back on board with it and keep going. You're doing fine.

Thanks, went to therapy today and feel recharged a bit, She agrees with no contact and thinks my husband will have a miserable life. That expert advice makes me happy. He is a crazy person who is giving up two great boys for a loser woman in Cleveland. I say good luck and be happy. I am done condoning the affair. Know better do better. Just will be sad when I do not have the boys this weekend but he is only a visitor in their lives now. I will have the major impact on them. They are my boys. I have them 90% of the time.