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My youngest DS, taught himself to read before he was 2 and was a voracious reader, but he slacked off when he was about your older DS's age. Thankfully, he's picked up the habit again. Something my DS loves just for the inanity of it is The Hitchhiker's Guide series. He bought a single binding of all the books for me for Christmas--just so he could borrow it and reread the series. (His older brother has taken the copies younger DS read with him to grad school.) I think that I'm going to give him Isaac Asimov's short stories to read tonight. He's going to love them. BTW, I knew you were a reader because you have excellent writing skills. It shows! 
"Your future isn't sealed. Nothing bad is going to happen. You just put everything in God's hands and in the meanwhile, do all you can do as a woman to protect yourself and your finances and family. That's what your job is to do now and let God deal with the wayward. Trust me...you do not have to lift a finger. HE will deal with the wayward."
Quotable words from peachyisback
“Sometimes you don’t get where you want to go, but you get much further than you were before.” Tiffany on Top Chef
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My youngest DS taught himself to read before he was 2 and was a voracious reader, but he slacked off when he was about your older DS's age. Thankfully, he's picked up the habit again. Something my DS loves just for the inanity of it is The Hitchhiker's Guide series. He bought a single binding of all the books for me for Christmas--just so he could borrow it and reread the series. (His older brother has taken the copies younger DS read with him to grad school.) I think that I'm going to give him Isaac Asimov's short stories to read tonight. He's going to love them. BTW, I knew you were a reader because you have excellent writing skills. It shows!
Last edited by HopeandGrace; 03/03/11 11:06 PM.
"Your future isn't sealed. Nothing bad is going to happen. You just put everything in God's hands and in the meanwhile, do all you can do as a woman to protect yourself and your finances and family. That's what your job is to do now and let God deal with the wayward. Trust me...you do not have to lift a finger. HE will deal with the wayward."
Quotable words from peachyisback
“Sometimes you don’t get where you want to go, but you get much further than you were before.” Tiffany on Top Chef
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Thanx for the compliment, although I think I could be a much better writer.  I hope my DS10 finds the joy of reading again. Whenever he can't sleep, he tries to come back downstairs and watch TV. I tell him that he should read a book instead. He does. He did get this book at a school fundraiser called, The strange case of Origami Yoda. For a couple of weeks, every piece of paper he could get his hands on, turned into an Origami Yoda. It was GREAT. Nothing since though. I am gonna jet off to bed. I am so sleepy. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I read your last line last night, Scotty, and headed straight for bed. I always have to stay up later than I like in order to make sure DS goes to bed on time. Of course, since I'm taking Ambien, he could just wait about 20 minutes and then get up again. I don't think he does.  But I could be wrong. I saw my doctor today. My blood pressure is great (122 over 60!) and he's glad I requested to up my ADs since I have some heavy-duty stuff to get through this year. He's a nice doctor, just so young! And he calls me "young lady" when he enters the room?!  I told him to quit patronizing me. On my last visit, when he said that, I told him to get his eyes checked. Today he was wearing glasses.  I wonder if he took me seriously? He is not yet forty. He looks like he's not yet 35. In other words, he could be my son (given that this is Tennessee and my own sister was a grandmother before she turned 32!) But that's a story for another time. It's Friday night and DS can stay up 'til the cows come home. I'm gonna hit the hay! Get it--cows? hay? Well, I laughed.
"Your future isn't sealed. Nothing bad is going to happen. You just put everything in God's hands and in the meanwhile, do all you can do as a woman to protect yourself and your finances and family. That's what your job is to do now and let God deal with the wayward. Trust me...you do not have to lift a finger. HE will deal with the wayward."
Quotable words from peachyisback
“Sometimes you don’t get where you want to go, but you get much further than you were before.” Tiffany on Top Chef
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I did get it. And I giggled. Teehehehe.
There's a girl I work with, who is younger than me, and she always calls ME "kid." I comment on it. She calls EVERYONE "kid." It's funny.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Another boring Sunday. Well, I did do a little shopping and found what I want to wear to court. Navy slacks, navy and white striped sleeveless sweater and cardigan set, navy shoes. Did I mention I look fantastic in navy? All made by Kasper (if you want to google it). Also bought a Ralph Lauren long-sleeved purple tee that I may get to wear once or twice this spring and 2 Ruby Road tops--all handsomely marked down. I love three-quarter length sleeves (like Ruby Road's tops) because I currently have a bad case of Oprah arms. I'm hopeful that my skin has enough elasticity left to rebound somewhat from my rapid weight loss or I'll be in three-quarter length sleeves forever and a day. On to another topic: My in-laws came over yesterday and FiL spent 2 hours installing the mounting bracket for my flat screen TV. Yes, they are special people and I'm so lucky to have their support.
"Your future isn't sealed. Nothing bad is going to happen. You just put everything in God's hands and in the meanwhile, do all you can do as a woman to protect yourself and your finances and family. That's what your job is to do now and let God deal with the wayward. Trust me...you do not have to lift a finger. HE will deal with the wayward."
Quotable words from peachyisback
“Sometimes you don’t get where you want to go, but you get much further than you were before.” Tiffany on Top Chef
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A week from today WH and I meet in court. The thought makes me want to  . Thank the Lord my sister is coming in to be with me. It's payback time--twenty years ago I went to court with her to get back child support from her XH. My hamster wheel is just a spinnin' away. Should I wear my wedding band? I still wear it but would it send a silent message to WH by not wearing it? Would it send an important message to the judge to be wearing it? Thoughts, anyone? I wish I could make the hamster stop--I'll be in a tizzy by next Monday if I can't get it to stop. I'm a little crazy here tonight and I've got a week to go. 
"Your future isn't sealed. Nothing bad is going to happen. You just put everything in God's hands and in the meanwhile, do all you can do as a woman to protect yourself and your finances and family. That's what your job is to do now and let God deal with the wayward. Trust me...you do not have to lift a finger. HE will deal with the wayward."
Quotable words from peachyisback
“Sometimes you don’t get where you want to go, but you get much further than you were before.” Tiffany on Top Chef
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From Pepperband's thread "The Run-of-the-Mill WW"--her run-of-the-mill WW sounds so much like my WH (my thoughts in red): 1. No previous adultery
None for my WH.
2. Her adultery choice gnaws her conscience and she has difficulty reconciling her behavior with her beliefs.
Same with WH--it was eating him alive at the same time he was exhilarated by it.
3. Physically suffers with a guilty conscience. Difficulty sleeping, eating, concentrating.
Again, WH. He lost weight, couldn't sleep for more than 4 hours at a time, and told me he was wandering around the plant where he works because he couldn't concentrate on doing the deskwork he needed to get done.
4. Has fallen head-over-heels "in love" with OM, which is often an old flame.
He OW is an old flame and he is absolutely besotted by her.
5. Has spiritual/religous beliefs she must ignore in order to "follow her heart".
He was an incredibly moral man before but now he only justifies with is fog babble.
6. Cries frequently but privately.
Well, I don't know if he cries frequently but he has cried. That in itself is unusual. The last time that I know of, he cried when DS told him he wouldn't spend the night with him because WH wouldn't agree to not contact OW while he was there.
7. May turn to alcohol to numb her conscience.
My FiL is greatly concerned that he may start drinking. I don't know if he has, but he seems that lonely and desperate.
8. Feels powerless and overwhelmed by her feelings of desire.
He's definitely powerless over the hold she has on him. I keep waiting for him to wake up and get his spherical objects of maleness back from her, but it hasn't happened yet.
9. Hates herself.
I think it's clear to all who know him that he hates himself, but somehow feels he's made too many irreconcilable mistakes to come back.
10. Cannot look at her husband or others who trust her without feeling worse, so begins to avoid people who love her.Yes. Yes. Yes. It's the reason he avoids contact with our three adult children. It's the reason he avoids contact with me and his parents. I don't think he can look in the mirror anymore and like what he's become. Originally Posted By: chrisner
I am also in the camp that believes once a WW begins a sexual adultery the BH is really, really in trouble. Far more so than a BW.
To do this a WW has closed every door on the marriage to be able to justify and live with her decision to have sex with another man. At least those from the Type 1 list. I read this with widened eyes. My WH fits to a tee the definition for WW Type I. Yes, he's a man, but he so IS what was said about the Type I WW.
"Your future isn't sealed. Nothing bad is going to happen. You just put everything in God's hands and in the meanwhile, do all you can do as a woman to protect yourself and your finances and family. That's what your job is to do now and let God deal with the wayward. Trust me...you do not have to lift a finger. HE will deal with the wayward."
Quotable words from peachyisback
“Sometimes you don’t get where you want to go, but you get much further than you were before.” Tiffany on Top Chef
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H&G, I don't have it in me tonight for a long post, but I didn't want this to go ignored. I know that you see things in the threads about your WH being like a WW. I haven't been around here long enough, but I have read enough threads to know that around these parts, WW and WH seem to be a different breed. They read from the same scripts and MB works on them both, which is why it is brilliant. Their mindsets are different though. Men, as a whole, tend to be better at compartmentalizing their lives. The WW tends to be more of a WAW. While there are similarities, there are some differences too. That's all I can offer tonight.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Same with my XWH - fits that description completely.
Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10
"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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Thanks, Scotty, for taking the time to buoy my hopes. I was knocked flat by Chrisner's comment. Post any other thoughts when you have time.
"Your future isn't sealed. Nothing bad is going to happen. You just put everything in God's hands and in the meanwhile, do all you can do as a woman to protect yourself and your finances and family. That's what your job is to do now and let God deal with the wayward. Trust me...you do not have to lift a finger. HE will deal with the wayward."
Quotable words from peachyisback
“Sometimes you don’t get where you want to go, but you get much further than you were before.” Tiffany on Top Chef
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Ah, shucks, mymissy. Now I'm afraid all over again. I'm just going to keep hoping that my WH gets over her and comes back. It's really all that I can do. Best wishes and thanks for your reply.
"Your future isn't sealed. Nothing bad is going to happen. You just put everything in God's hands and in the meanwhile, do all you can do as a woman to protect yourself and your finances and family. That's what your job is to do now and let God deal with the wayward. Trust me...you do not have to lift a finger. HE will deal with the wayward."
Quotable words from peachyisback
“Sometimes you don’t get where you want to go, but you get much further than you were before.” Tiffany on Top Chef
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I spoke to my counselor today and she helped me calm down. She said to be sure to have an appointment for next week, so I'm guessing she has sensed how really fragile I am.
My sister arrives tomorrow. I'll leave work, run home to get DS and then drive an hour plus in rush hour traffic to pick her up by 6:30.
I'd run there and carry her home piggyback if I had to. I need her this weekend so very much.
"Your future isn't sealed. Nothing bad is going to happen. You just put everything in God's hands and in the meanwhile, do all you can do as a woman to protect yourself and your finances and family. That's what your job is to do now and let God deal with the wayward. Trust me...you do not have to lift a finger. HE will deal with the wayward."
Quotable words from peachyisback
“Sometimes you don’t get where you want to go, but you get much further than you were before.” Tiffany on Top Chef
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Ah, shucks, mymissy. Now I'm afraid all over again.
I'm just going to keep hoping that my WH gets over her and comes back.
It's really all that I can do. While almost all of the A stories and fog babble is much alike; remember that every situation and person has some differences. And while maybe our WH's are seemingly sounding alike; what didn't work out for me is not necessarily going to be the same for you. And while part of me would like to see the affair-ship end, XWH to come crawling back; the other part of me realizes that most likely isn't going to happen, but that is just my situation. Please don't let my cryptic comments scare you. So stick to the wonderful advice you are getting here, especially from Scotty (she is a great cheerleader); continue on in your own recovery, and follow what is in your heart. Your so very right - it really is all you can do. You are a strong and beautiful person, stand strong in your beliefs, and most of all be proud of who you are and what you stand for. Enjoy your time with your sis, sounds like you need that right now.
Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10
"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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SUPER SISTER TO THE RESCUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Make sure you have some GREAT laughs with your sister. Try HARD not to talk about your WH or the A. It will still come up, of course, just try to re-focus so you can have some FUN. The A will still be there to torture you when your sister leaves. Guess what colour my finger nails are? Come on guess. Did you guess it? They're GREEN. It's for St.Patty's day. And when I was picking the green I wanted, I bought a new silver for my toes and I had to stop myself buying the orange, yellow, blue(I must have 20 blues), and purple. I think I have a problem. HEHEHEHE 
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Just a quick note: I picked my sister up last night and then stayed up until midnight talking with her about lots of things but especially about the divorce and my WH. She offers supportive but realistic counseling to me--"Yes, keep hoping but also make plans for the rest of your life. Know that whatever was meant to be will be. You will be happy again in your future." I had to work today, but we went out for dinner tonight--me, my sister, my mom, and my older DS (DS25). DS15 had a piano festival to attend--WH took him. WH asked DS25 to go but he refused. Tomorrow my sister (let's call her K), DS15, and I will go to Nashville for another piano festival. We'll meet up with DD30 and have lunch at what must be the only authentic Jewish deli in TN. K is keeping me busy and will be the best possible person to go to court with me. I think I'll survive Monday and all of the other Mondays to come. Have a great weekend, y'all.
"Your future isn't sealed. Nothing bad is going to happen. You just put everything in God's hands and in the meanwhile, do all you can do as a woman to protect yourself and your finances and family. That's what your job is to do now and let God deal with the wayward. Trust me...you do not have to lift a finger. HE will deal with the wayward."
Quotable words from peachyisback
“Sometimes you don’t get where you want to go, but you get much further than you were before.” Tiffany on Top Chef
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Have a good time with your sister. Take this time to re-vitalize yourself. I am glad that you have support IRL. Any thoughts on where we want to go when we go to Scotland(I gotta stop talking about your toes, ppl are starting to talk)
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Have a good time with your sister. Take this time to re-vitalize yourself. I am glad that you have support IRL. Any thoughts on where we want to go when we go to Scotland(I gotta stop talking about your toes, ppl are starting to talk) Hahahaha! I have a hankering to see the Firth of Forth--just so I can say I did. Oh, and Loch Ness. John O'Groats? I hope you've had a great week, Scotty. Take care!
"Your future isn't sealed. Nothing bad is going to happen. You just put everything in God's hands and in the meanwhile, do all you can do as a woman to protect yourself and your finances and family. That's what your job is to do now and let God deal with the wayward. Trust me...you do not have to lift a finger. HE will deal with the wayward."
Quotable words from peachyisback
“Sometimes you don’t get where you want to go, but you get much further than you were before.” Tiffany on Top Chef
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MyMissy--thanks for your post. You said some very kind things and I appreciate them.
"Your future isn't sealed. Nothing bad is going to happen. You just put everything in God's hands and in the meanwhile, do all you can do as a woman to protect yourself and your finances and family. That's what your job is to do now and let God deal with the wayward. Trust me...you do not have to lift a finger. HE will deal with the wayward."
Quotable words from peachyisback
“Sometimes you don’t get where you want to go, but you get much further than you were before.” Tiffany on Top Chef
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Have a good time with your sister. Take this time to re-vitalize yourself. I am glad that you have support IRL. Any thoughts on where we want to go when we go to Scotland(I gotta stop talking about your toes, ppl are starting to talk) Hahahaha! I have a hankering to see the Firth of Forth--just so I can say I did. Oh, and Loch Ness. John O'Groats? I hope you've had a great week, Scotty. Take care! Well, I think you have given this more thought than I. I will need to get cracking. I am competitive can you tell? You should see me playing Guitar Hero with DS10.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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