Are you guys thinking troll? Spit it out.

If you've got some questions you want to ask this poster or some advice to offer them with Marriage Builders principles, you can do that.

If you have some concerns, you should take them to the moderators.

Please!!

No accusations or assumptions!!

If you think you can offer this poster MB advice & support,,PLEASE do so.

If not, please refrain from posting...

My concerns (and I suspected another thread too) come from good people spending their time giving advice/care. But like it was said in the other thread, someone else may benefit from good advice even if the OP doesn't.

Thank you.

Heather, we look forward to hearing from you and helping you.

I am steaming mad at your OM right now. He should not be consoling you.

Anyone who truly cares about you knows you need to be with your parents and kids right now. Not in the arms of some affair partner.

You are not thinking straight, and that is understandable. Please don't make matters worse by continuing on with this fantasy life.

OM is a scumbag. Anyone who would have a relationship with a married woman is a scumbag, regardless of his profession. You already realize this.

You deserve better treatment from men altogether. Don't go on this way.

Exactly!

Your H's A doesn't in any way justify your own A or any of your own bad behavior. Going to OM's house is taking another step down the WRONG path.

I have no problem if you want to D your H. I don't know what the right answer there is but one thing I do know with 100% certainty is that continuing your own A is making an awful situation WORSE.

Start doing the right things...for yourself and for your children.

NC and expose to OWH. Don't leave the home. If anything, ask your H to leave.

You are making the biggest mistake by going to OM, what your husband has done is horrible but really you are doing the exact same thing he is doing so why are you so upset? Because his affair never ended?

I am confused....you are cheating on your husband and feel soo horrible then you find out that the affair never ended and now you are leaving?

If you really want to end this marriage then yes by all means go to the other man...but you just told us that you do not care for him, you do not love him, so now that the situation is different you run to him? Does not make any sense!

I am sorry for the pain you had to endure but if you are giving up dont give up and run to the OM, you need to face your husband and tell him everything! Then decide if you want to stay with your husband.

I do agree about telling the OWH, but that IS IT!!! EVERYTHING else you are doing I DO NOT AGREE ON!

too late. she is on her way to OM's house. This is not good

Hmm, well, she was on "Who's Online" but she just logged off... ??

Please do the right thing here, it is probably too late I am sure you are there right now with the OM and we can not change that....but please do something right and go home and face your husband you are no better then your husband, so stand up and go to him.

Do you honestly think your actions are justifiable?

Go home
Face your husband
Talk to him
Tell him everything
then if you still want to divorce him then by all means do so...but do it THE RIGHT WAY!!

NOT

THE WRONG WAY!!

I am here and on my phone so it is so hard to type. I am here in the car still
and have not went anywhere at all other than driving around. My phone has not stopped ringing from my husband. Om and and the woman my husband
never stopped loving. I talked to my mother and I swear she wants me to be with the other man. He is just getting out of practice and has a game in just a few hours. I will have the whole night to have this sink in. I am so grateful I have u all here. I feel so alone and so deep in pain right now. Thank u so much

Has your mom known all along about your affair with OM?

Did your two friends know that it was a physical affair?

I'm glad you're driving around. Don't see OM, Heather. Don't do it. I understand your desire for consoling, but it is not in your best interest.

Please call and tell her husband today. He has a right to know about this. I would tell him before your H and the OW get to him and spin the story.

This all needs to come out, Heather. Your affair, his affair. Get it out in the open into the light of day. Most especially with your children.

Oh good grief. This is getting ridiculous. I was all on board until I saw this. It makes no sense to get lathered up about your H's affair when you are in an AFFAIR yourself, Madam. You have lost the privilege of victimhood when you are doing the same thing.

How about calling up the OW's husband, telling him about the affair and then going home and acting like a grownup? You have children and need to pull yourself together for them. Go home and talk to your husband. Tell your kids what is going on and control your emotions.

Yes. Your first call needs to be to OW's husband. Then GO HOME. I know you're going to hate to hear my advice since you've already balked at it, but YOU ARE NOT A TEENAGER WHO'S BEEN JILTED. You are a MARRIED MOTHER. GO HOME.

Heather,
Something to think about, your life has been filled with lies and deceit, your husband and the affairs he has had, now your own, all of it was wrong because neither of you could do the right thing for each other and your family.
Do you want to continue this kind of life or this where you put an end to all this and only act in an honest and respectful way.
I think it's time to do the right thing across the board, it's time to be accountable for your actions so you can change this rollercoaster lifestyle and be a more stable loving individual.........
First things first, I would call the OW's husband and let him know what has been going on.........he deserves to be able to make his own decisions about his life and future, then you put your big girl pants on and go home and talk to your husband calmly, you be truthful about your feelings and your actions you come clean with anything you yourself had done wrong in the marriage.......You give him the respect to tell you his story ............Then you make a decision together what the future will hold for the two of you, right now you are so angry making any kind of decision is not advised...........
You talk, you tell the truth, then you take some time to absorb the day and make your decision when you are ready......
You also keep the OM out of your life for now.............Respect for your family has to come first right now................all you can do is control yourself and have the moral will power to do what is right. Your husband has his own demons to deal with...........the OW and the OM need to just even be in the equation right now.......they were both mistakes and don't really have any importance here.....
This is your chance to chance your life no matter what happens here, I don't think you want to continue like this, look what this kind of thinking has brought to your life and your childrens, it time to change YOU forever........Take that chance...................you came here to do the right thing, don't lose that plan......

Well, this certainly is interesting.

Heather, do what everyone is telling you. Call OW's H and let him know what is happening. Then get in your car and go to a hotel so that you can calm down. Talk with your family, don't talk with OM he cannot help you with this or with life.

You are a married woman with children, he is a single guy with no children. Given the age difference, that this relationship started and is an affair, there is little chance it would work.

Your H has been burning up your marriage for years now time for serious honesty on the part of both of you.

Calm down, and start doing what are the moral and correct things to do.

God Bless,

JL

Then get it over with and take your medicine. Answer your phone, go home and work this out with your HUSBAND. You both have dug yourselves into a hole, no sense blaming your husband for something that you're guilty of yourself.

Do the right thing and go home. This little thing with OM hasn't worked very well for you so far, has it?

Heather, I hope you have the good sense to realize how totally delusional this fantasy is.

Your mom probably has no idea that relationships starting as affairs have less than a 5% success rate.

Now, back to reality ...

What are your plans for tonight? Have you called OW's husband?