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Joined: Feb 2010
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Hi there,
So glad you have landed on your feet and moving in a positive direction with your life.......
Now lets keep your heart open for new adventures..........make new friends, enjoy the kids......
Smile every day, be proud and know that you can't be responsible for anyone else,
God bless.........
jessi


BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
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(((((NP)))))

I am sorry that this has turned out this way for you.

I am concerned about one thing though. Why are you still communicating with him? I have witnessed my sister dealing with her XWH and it is HORRIBLE and they have been divorced for almost 3 YEARS. It only gets harder to deal with an unrepentant wayward. I would suggest that you get into at MOST email exchanges, but I would most definitely use an IM.

Take care hun. hug


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Feb 2005
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NP,

Thanks for the update, was worried about you! Sometimes when BS are quite it means that they aren't doing things the MB way and don't want to here it. I am glad you have taken a step for you, and ultimately your children.

Hang in there and keep us posted. Let us know how your kids are doing.

ba


Me-49, WH-51
Married 02/1983 yrs, Sons - 27, 26, 20
1st PA - 1985, 1st known EA - 1992/1993
2nd PA - 06/02 to 11/04
1st D-day - 09/03, D-day 2 - 10/04 D-day 3 05/08
NC e-mail - 11/04- it wasn't real
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738
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Thanks everyone!

Well, our contact is limited to the children. Which is why I'm surprised he can still find ways to be mean, but he does it!

DD is doing okay. She went through a hard phase where she was crying for him to be home all the time. But she seems to like OW ( puke) and she is always quite happy to go over there with her dad. She still talks like we're a family but she seems to be adjusting okay. Hopefully. She is getting happier again.

DS, unfortunately, is another story. Well, in his relationship with his dad I mean. He's the happiest, sweetest, most mellow and charming baby, no trouble at all! A complete joy to be around. But his dad doesn't seem to care too much about him, other than treating him like you would a zoo exhibit ("Hello, son, how are you? Well...I'll just move onto something else now...") WH barely pays him any attention, never attempts to spend any real time with him when he's in town, and has zero bond with him. He never takes him overnight like he does DD, but that's becuase I fought that, and said he was too young to go there overnight, esp since he barely knows his dad. I hope they can form a bond as he gets older, for his sake....but if not, it's f'ing WH'S loss.

Anyway, yes, I'm doing well! The sun is back out (literally and figuratively) and I'm looking forward to seeing what my future holds now! smile


Me: BW, 27
Him: WH, 29
DD 4
DS 1
Married 07/25/09
A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner)
D-Day: 3/31/10
2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010
3rd D-Day: 4/21/10

Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10
WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10
False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10

Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012

Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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Oh, YAY!! NP, I am so glad you checked in! I've wondered often about you! You, my friend, did your best. And you will recover yourself with your two kiddoes.

Your POSH treats you like that because he wants you to dislike him. It would make it ever so much easier on his conscience if that were the case. If you must be in contact, don't rise to his bait and give him any satisfaction. Rise above that. What am I saying - you're already far above him.

I understand about the triggering emotion of posting here, but do try to keep us up to date with what's going on in your life.

NP kiss


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Nov 2008
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Originally Posted by NewPetals
I don't think they will last, and I don't think he is completely happy with her, no matter what he says. BUT, it is no longer my concern...

Exactly right.

Thanks for coming back w/ an update, NP. You sound like you're in a much better place - take care of you and those kiddos!

Last edited by Mrs_Vanilla; 04/05/11 11:13 PM. Reason: addition

Me - 30 (FWW)
H - 30 (BH)
DSx2
D-day: 2008
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738
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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Your POSH treats you like that because he wants you to dislike him. It would make it ever so much easier on his conscience if that were the case. If you must be in contact, don't rise to his bait and give him any satisfaction.

Oh, I do dislike him now. But to his face I am ever so nice. Not overly nice, I mean, I'm not a doormat, but I am civil and strong and polite. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of having me be all mean to him and letting him feel justified in his actions! wink


Me: BW, 27
Him: WH, 29
DD 4
DS 1
Married 07/25/09
A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner)
D-Day: 3/31/10
2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010
3rd D-Day: 4/21/10

Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10
WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10
False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10

Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012

Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 634
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Hey NP!!

Happy to see you back with an update. Sorry to hear where things have ended up, but I do believe that it is what is best for you and the kiddos. You sound really great! You sound really strong! Give yourself a big old pat on the back because you deserve it. You did everything you could but your WH is just a lost cause unfortunately. His loss. You are going to rebuild a better life then you ever had before with WH. You will have the wisdom of your current experiences and the knowledge of MB to help you find another man that will treat you like the awesome woman that you are. Your future looks very bright NP. Of this I am certain.

Don't be such a stranger!! wink

Joined: May 2010
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Oh NP, I was thinking about you the other day! I'm glad you came back to give an update. Definitely sorry how things ended up, but you did all that you could and I know you will have an awesome future with you and your kiddos.

Hugs!

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The kids sound ADORABLE, and I'll bet that precious baby is getting really huge and walking all over by now. smile


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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I'm back!! I'm thinking it's time I moved over to the Divorcing forums though....

I've survived. I hope all of you do as well. Love to all of you who were so supportive and helpful through all of this. It was really the only thing at times that kept me going.

Take care, all of you!!


Me: BW, 27
Him: WH, 29
DD 4
DS 1
Married 07/25/09
A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner)
D-Day: 3/31/10
2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010
3rd D-Day: 4/21/10

Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10
WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10
False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10

Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012

Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 754
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Posts: 754
Hi NP!

Glad to hear you are doing well and welcome back!

ba


Me-49, WH-51
Married 02/1983 yrs, Sons - 27, 26, 20
1st PA - 1985, 1st known EA - 1992/1993
2nd PA - 06/02 to 11/04
1st D-day - 09/03, D-day 2 - 10/04 D-day 3 05/08
NC e-mail - 11/04- it wasn't real
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