What does the custody agreement say? How does transportation for visitation work now? If he has to pay for all the associated costs then he'll still have to pay. In mine, the parent who is getting the kids has to take care of transportation. So, he's supposed to come and get them and I'm supposed to go there to pick them up.

I wouldn't worry about it until he actually GETS a job nearby, though.


I'm sorry you're struggling. Are you taking good care of yourself?

The custody agreement was made in bad faith. He was living 20 minutes away at the time, planning to move the next day to 2000 miles away. However, it says he drops off and I pick up, as long as I have dependable transportation, othewise he does both. My breaks aren't great, but truth is I need to get them fixed anyway. He told DD he will be moving in 18 days. Nothing directly to me yet, but it seems as if it's pending.

I am doing what I need to be doing to get work. I am doing what I can to collect child support. Both are taking so much longer than expected. I am taking GREAT care of the kids, who are happy. I think I'm taking pretty good care of myself. Although, I could stand to have one less drink on most nights.

Had a great interview today for a fantastic job that could be the answer to my prayers. I just don't want to get my hopes up, as I have had some great interviews before.

It's too bad you didn't do something legally about the transportation issue right after he moved away. If you had set it up for him to pay for all transportation costs, then you could just keep it like that.

Since it says that you pick up as long as you have dependable transportation, then you just need to tell him that your car is not reliable enough for you to drive that far.

Good luck on the job!

And stop at one drink. The last you need to do as a single mom is have a problem with alcohol. The kids need you to be alert and there for them. Besides, it's expensive.

Well, after toying with our kids about possibly moving back and seeing them soon, he finally told me about it via email. Suggested we share the transportation for visitations 50/50. I declined that offer so I will be driving out 40 minutes from home every other friday and sunday to drop off/pick up my kids. Not ideal but I wanted to facilitate the visitations for the kids sake, and for mine (I need a break every once in a while, I must confess. Having two weekends a month to myself sounds like a vacation at this point.)

He still isn't paying all of the child support, claiming that I'm sleeping with the babysitter and that the costs a aren't legitimate. After all, why would a struggling, single parent with fill custody and no alimony actually need childcare? The process of getting a modification through child support enforcement is slow. I should hear something soon I hope. The plan is, get the modification, and once it goes through (can take up to a year if he protests, which he will), then file pro se for back child support.

My lawyer has long dumped me as I owe her $20,000 and can only pay a couple hundred a month.

Slow process. Patience wearing thin.

At least the affairage X and OW just started will begin in his mother's house, living with her. What a pair of losers.

I am confused as to why you declined his offer to share visitation transportation?

Because it would have meant a much farther drive for me. Either 5 hours round trip twice a month, or 2 1/2 hours round trip 4 times a month.

I guess I'm confused, because 5 hours twice a month, and 2.5 hours 4 times a month both sound like 10 hours driving every month.

Sorry your ex is such an irresponsible jerk FPM. I cannot stand it when men don't take responsibilty for their children. My guess is that he trust YOU.

It is. It is the two choices he offered. I refused and instead agreed to drive the kids out to a place 40 minutes away to meet him there. Round trip an hour and twenty minutes. Less than 5 hours a month instead of the 10 he was offering. Considering all, I feel that was extremely fair. I did some googling and in most cases when the non custodial parent moves away, they are responsible for almost all of the traveling and expenses.

They've seen their dad once in 5 months tho, and I just want them to have a relationship with their father. Too bad the OW (their new stepmom) comes with the arrangement too. She's in the middle of her custody battle right now. These two love to rip up families.

Okay. I get it. He offered two unacceptable choices and you responded with an option that works for you.

Yes, you're right that when the non-custodial parent moves away from the area, it's his (usually it's the father) responsibility to provide all transportation for visitation. I think you're offering an appropriate plan. You are driving about the maximum you would have if he had stayed in the area.

My lawyer just served me with papers. She wants to put a lien on my home for the money I owe her. She knows I am paying her every month what I can, but wants more.

I told her that her strange child support arrangement wouldn't work with my X, and lo and behold I was right. I can't get money from him, so I can make the payments she wants to her, and now she wants my kids house. Feel like I'm getting screwed from all sides.

OK, an update as the saga continues. Filing for legal malpractice against divorce attorney. Didn't want to do it but she forced my hand. Please be careful out there with your attorney choices. Hint: If they yell at you a lot and insist on making you do things you don't want to do nor pay for, they are probably in it just to line their own pockets.

Finally filing for contempt of court against X who refuses to pay full child support. Changes reasons with the wind, but now says he can't afford it. He is enjoying the early days of his affairage living with his mother and new bride. Apparently it was a shotgun wedding.

As for me I am much better, despite the stress of legal issues that never go away. Working 3 jobs and am tired, but love my work, have custody of my kids, and although I see them less than I would like due to my schedule, thay are happy little people. And I am Master and Commander of my life and theirs. It's nice not having to answer to him anymore.

Wish me luck with my former cut throat lawyer.

She must have been a real piece of work if you could find another lawyer to take the case. (Or are you pro se?)

My ex was fired by his second lawyer and so has hired a third who seems to be all about lining his pockets, too. There are way too many like that in family law.

Good luck. I hope your judge will see the truth and provide justice for you and your children.

It was through the advice of many lawyers that I eventually filed suit. Every attorney who tried to help me undo the mess my first lawyer got me into said I should file for malpractice. Something I DID NOT want to do. I am sooooo over lawyers right now. I eventually hired someone who had little experience in malpractice but was being very kind with her rate. Young and eager type of lawyer. We'll see.

The divorce system in this country is very much broken in my opinion. It makes a gut wrenching time so much worse.

If your ex was fired by his lawyer, HE must be a piece of work too. Much luck back.

Thanks.

Yes, my ex is astounding. He tells lies so many times that he starts to believe them.

He told his first lawyer that he was faithful in the marriage, and then the lawyer saw email exchanges about the OW. That one fired him so gracefully that he didn't realize he was being fired as a client.

The second attorney fired my ex when he tried to weasel out of the agreement he made in mediation and then blew up verbally all over the lawyer.

Yesterday, the third lawyer had to drop a motion he had filed because it was based on lies my ex told him. I gave my attorney plenty of information to disprove the lies. I'm very curious what the latest attorney is thinking about his client today, but I'll probably never know.

I am familiar with the phenomenon. The truth and our history have been completely erased and replaced.