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I am actually very sad. Been very depressed these past days. I guess the sale of the house, the move and the fact that WH is still with OW are the final tombstone on my M which, at this point, has not hope to go anywhere....
I guess it is a natural feeling...
blessing I think it is natural to feel this way, esp. when moving....but this is a new start, its good things that are gonna start happening for you...Good Luck sweetie...
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. 
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Hi all,
just an update to say that I moved and have been in the new place for a week now.
Things have had their ups and down recently. I had some health issues that needed to be taken care of and seem to be ok for now.
I spoke to my son yesterday and he said his dad will go to the States soon to visit grandpa who has been very ill. WH will not stop to see my son even if it has been a while since they last saw eachother.
a trip to the States is not really around the corner for WH and yet he could care less about taking time to go and see son.
He is still with OW, not living with her so far, but seeing her daily.
At this point WH has not tried to contact me in any form or manner and the sale of the house has been totally taken care of by the real estate agent.
I still fail to understand why WH will throw it all away for someone so insignificant and a house-wrecker whose kids are a nightmare.
I also fail to understand why their A is lasting this long when most relationships around me seem to crumble and so many people have so many problems with their spouses or partners....WH and OW do not seem to be affected by anything.
As time goes by and with the move, I have realized that my attachement to WH goes up and down.
At this time I am finding myself missing him a lot as I realize it is really over between us and that I will never be with him again.
Thank you for listening
blessing
atena
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Blessings to you too, atena.
It will get better for you, I promise.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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i trust it will get better..
thank you for your support
blessing
atena
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Atena, I was thinking about you yesterday! I am so glad you sold the house and have moved away. Do you like your new home?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Atena,
You are on the other side now, I hope you are making the best of your life....keeping and open heart and mind to new experiences.............
jessi
BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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I am renting a new place and it is beautiful, I was very lucky to find it!
I do not feel I am on the other side yet. I still love my WH, it is crazy to think that I am still capable of having feeling for this man who has shown nothing but cruelty and contempt towards me, but I know he is happier without me and at the end, I have to be grateful that a person like him is out of my life.
blessing
atena
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I am renting a new place and it is beautiful, I was very lucky to find it!
I do not feel I am on the other side yet. I still love my WH, it is crazy to think that I am still capable of having feeling for this man who has shown nothing but cruelty and contempt towards me, but I know he is happier without me and at the end, I have to be grateful that a person like him is out of my life.
blessing Are you missing all the lying, cheating and general cruelty? Or are you romanticizing again? Keep in mind, that you have even told me that you wouldn't want him back like this. Can you imagine what the life of the OW is like? Having to watch her back every second because she knows he is a liar and a cheater?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Hi Melody, good to hear your comments! i hope you are doing well, I thank you for reminding me.
The OW is a lot like my WH, but I do agree that she must be super jealous knowing what he has done to me. Even if he tells her she is the one...she must a fool to believe him...
I can't forget his behaviour and I can't forget he has the same behavior with our son...that is pretty low when you lie and cheat on your children by not dedicating time to them and by avoiding being honest with them,...at the end it is WH's loss.
One day he will get his face out of his [censored]!!!
blessing
atena
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You have a chance to have a GREAT LIFE, Atena, if you will just take it. Remember what Dr Harley told you? Your future could be wonderful.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I do believe it!
I am taking swimming lessons, I have joined a sports club and I plan to travel. I have new friends and i look for fun stuff to do all the time... I am learning new things at work.
I do have lots of potential and I know my feelings for him are just a story I tell myself about a man who has not been nice to me in years and who does no longer exist!!!
blessing
atena
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I do have lots of potential and I know my feelings for him are just a story I tell myself about a man who has not been nice to me in years and who does no longer exist!!! When I first met you, you were one miserable, depressed, despairing woman. Your H did not make you happy, he made you miserable. He made you suffer for years. And didn't care. Are you missing the Grade A misery? I can't help but wonder what your life would be like with a man who treated you like a queen and who put you before anyone else. That is all you have wanted and needed. You wanted happiness and your H made your life hell for years. You want that back?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am taking swimming lessons, I have joined a sports club and I plan to travel. I have new friends and i look for fun stuff to do all the time... I am learning new things at work. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I do believe it!
I am taking swimming lessons, I have joined a sports club and I plan to travel. I have new friends and i look for fun stuff to do all the time... I am learning new things at work.
I do have lots of potential and I know my feelings for him are just a story I tell myself about a man who has not been nice to me in years and who does no longer exist!!!
blessing Hi Atena  So good to see your posts. The future is now. It is different then we envisioned but we have to embrace what life is offering to us. I too have been doing many activities. I do not date now and have no desire at this time. Not sure if that will come in time. As long as the waywards are with their POSOW they will continue on their path. There will be no remorse, no flicker of their old self. I have detached from XH even though the phrase "love the unloveable" comes into my prayers for him. You were missed. Thanks for checking in.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Atena! I was wondering about you the other day too. You sound GREAT! Thank you for checking in
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Yes, he was not there to make me happy, he was there to tell himself all the time what a miserable life he had with me and our son. He just hated being M (to me) and could not wait to get out of the M. It must have cost him a lot of lying and deceit to pretend he loved me etc... Now the truth is out. He is happy with a lowlife-OW. That's who he wants to be with and not 100% given he does not live with her and still doesn't even thou I moved out of the building and he could easily move in with her now.... He is really a free loader, 100% so. I can't help but wonder what your life would be like with a man who treated you like a queen and who put you before anyone else. That is all you have wanted and needed. You wanted happiness and your H made your life hell for years. You want that back? So far no man has shown any interest for me. The ones that do are in their 60s so 16 years older than I am. I wonder if there is a point in a woman's life when is no longer possible to find a person who is faithful, attractive and financially ok.... Thank you for missing me!! Blessing
atena
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atena - I'm a newbie here, but I just wanted to comment on your last statement. You are never too old to find love and it is possible to find someone that's faithful, attractive, financially responsible, etc. Look at the posters here - there are good people out there, but you might have to kiss a few frogs before finding a prince. I'm guessing we're around the same age and I don't plan on giving up hope of finding true love again, if I wind up with a D.
In the meantime, get out there, find a hobby, be active, live life!
BS(me)- 45
WW - 41
D-day 1 - (PA) 01/2011
DS - 6
Exposure: early 02/2011
Started Plan B - 7/11
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((((Atena)))...I feel the same way about being to old to find a good partner (I am the same age also)....but when I hear you say it I think, OMG she is so young to be thinking that....
Also, no one has shown any interest in me.....but I dont go anywhere, so maybe when we start enjoying life and doing things we enjoy...I mean I dont think I will meet anyone crossing paths with me in my kitchen, although that would be great....
You remind me so much of me....maybe we were just too good for these jerks, ya know? They probably, deep down, really know that too and that is why they stay with their lowlife OW....because there are no expectations, they can be lowlifes together....My WH lives with his MOTHER now...I mean he would rather live with his mother than me and DS...BUT he would rather live with his mother than with OW also....
I think these men just want to be teenagers again...they dont like responsibilites....but who of us really does, thats just being and adult....and obviously that is too much for them to handle....Hang in there, atena...I am right there with ya.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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I can't help but wonder what your life would be like with a man who treated you like a queen and who put you before anyone else. That is all you have wanted and needed. You wanted happiness and your H made your life hell for years. You want that back? So far no man has shown any interest for me. The ones that do are in their 60s so 16 years older than I am. I wonder if there is a point in a woman's life when is no longer possible to find a person who is faithful, attractive and financially ok.... Thank you for missing me!! Blessing [/quote] Always remember you are a Goddess even though your self esteem took a serious hit with this. The best advice I can give you is to focus on yourself. See what makes you happy. Men have shown me interest and I am not accepting the "cookies" right now. Not interested in hearing their stories or ready to share mine. Most men my age want a 25 year old which is fine for them..till they get dumped. Just be you. blessings.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Hope, it is funny that you said that, about them wanting 25 year olds....
My BIL always dated women in their twenties and he is my age...well, the always want to go to bars or go dancing, ya know basically always on the go....BIL was getting exhausted and sometimes just wanted to stay home and hang out or go to a movie...
He was complaining that dating was running him ragged and that he couldnt find a lasting relationship. I said "dating twenty year olds is running you ragged. Date someone your age."
Well in the last year he met someone five years OLDER than him...OMGoodness, God forbid!!!!!!.....He is now happily married to her after only a year and she is a sweetheart...So maybe there is hope for us...
PS...Her exH left her 10 years ago (while she was pregnant) for another woman that he was having an affair with...
Last edited by stillhere8126; 04/12/11 12:25 PM. Reason: PS
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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