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Keep good records and be prepared to send it to appeal if necessary.

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New week, Update?


Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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Well, nothing really to report.

I did have a day where my daughter during my parenting time acted so afraid of me and wouldn't sit down to talk to me or come near me while at the library. Like someone just flipped the light switch off to her. Normally, she's by my side, holding my arm, or just plain out wrestling around with me showing me that she loves me dearly. Also, my son cries when I take him home because he doesn't want to go home. This just breaks my heart.

crybaby

This sucks so bad........... I'm so ready for all of it to be over with. Ready to raise the white flag.........

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Originally Posted by sack
Ready to raise the white flag.........
Do NOT do that.


Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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Gack,

You should request an evaluation for alienation of affection. Show proof that the relationship between you and your kids is being damaged by your WW.

A psychologist should be able to pick up on all of this and be able to testify to it.

Don't lose faith. The battle seems to last forever while you're in the middle of it. But it really is a short term battle with very longterm outcomes.

Keep the faith and stay strong. This is all temporary! Get some good care for yourself and find yourself a good and ascertive counselor.

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Originally Posted by helpthelostdads
Gack,
You mean Sack, right?

Originally Posted by helpthelostdads
You should request an evaluation for alienation of affection. Show proof that the relationship between you and your kids is being damaged by your WW.
Do states allow you to sue due to Alienation of affection from your kids? I assume you file against the WS?

I know most states wont allow you to sue your spouses affair partner or spouse for Alienation of affection from the WS due to an affair. But I had never thought about it for kids.


Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 62
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Went to court the other dat and I was found in contempt of court due to the fact that my lawyer didn't show me a court order for me to turn over the rest of my 401k money until 5 weeks after the court order. He kept telling me I needed to turn the money over but not once did he mention the fact that there was a court order. Now, I have to pay her lawyer $750 in 7 days (which I don't have) and I have to replace all the money spent (which was on maritial assets) after the order date.

The judge asked me why I didn't hand over the money right away. I told him under oath the truth, and that was that my lawyer didn't show me an order until 5 weeks after the order was writen. The judge asked me if I was in his courtroom on the day it was writen, I said yes. He then said, "You didn't hear us talking about it?" I said, "No, because you took counsel back into your chambers and discussed this behind closed doors."

My lawyer is pissed at me for making him to look like a fool, but oh f*ing well.


I'M SO DONE WITH THIS!!!!

I will be asking for my lawyer to write up a settlement agreement. She gets everything, all I want is the shoes on my feet, and my sanity back.......

Life goes on.......it's all materialistic stuff. It can be replaced.

She's got my daughter hating me now and everytime I pick her up, there's no affection shown. I can't handle any more of this.

I know I need my kids in my life, and they need me, but I do not want to deal with this ANY LONGER.......

WHITEFLAG

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Originally Posted by sack
I will be asking for my lawyer to write up a settlement agreement. She gets everything, all I want is the shoes on my feet, and my sanity back.......
If you do this, I assure you, you will regret it for a long, long time.

Stop payments to and fire your lawyer.

Hire a new lawyer AND see about recouping your costs from the first lawyer, he is incompetent and should not be practicing law.

Your whole problem here is an incompetent, lazy lawyer.
You need a "Pit Bull" lawyer, this guy sounds more like a used car salesman.

Originally Posted by sack
She's got my daughter hating me now and everytime I pick her up, there's no affection shown. I can't handle any more of this.
You do not actually believe that rolling over will help this do you....

Because I assure you, it WILL get worse if you just settle. You will see youR kids MAYBE twice a month, when there mother has something SHE wants to do and needs a baby sitter. And they will be so brainwashed that they will hate YOU because YOU are the cause of all this according to there sweet innocent mother.

Your/there only hope is for you to at least get shared custody.

FIGHT!!!

Last edited by Gack1; 04/14/11 09:44 AM.

Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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Link up with lawyers from the father's rights organization in your area. Talk with them about parental alienation charges against your wife.


Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1

The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"?

The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!"

If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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I know I should fire my lawyer and hire another......

But I'm officially broke, almost homeless, and got nothing. I don't have the money to retain another.

I've been an emotional wreck, literally. I don't want to be emotional no more. I see my therapist today, we'll see what she says.

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Originally Posted by sack
I know I should fire my lawyer and hire another......

But I'm officially broke, almost homeless, and got nothing. I don't have the money to retain another.

I've been an emotional wreck, literally. I don't want to be emotional no more. I see my therapist today, we'll see what she says.

Sack,

You�ll feel like this often, but you can�t give up your rights as a father. You�re right about stuff. It can be replaced. But your time with your DD is critical and you will really regret just giving that up.

Represent yourself if you need to, but you can�t just roll over. Contact father�s rights groups in your area. See if they can advise you.

But most of all, don�t make these huge decisions in the state of mind you�re in. I know how you feel. I was there.

Request an evaluation of your daughter by a court appointed psychologist. Go out and get books. One is called �Father�s Rights� and the other is called, �Custody for Fathers�.

These will help you and explain a ton.

Don�t lose heart.

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Hey sack.

I'm so sorry to hear what you are still going through. I can't offer you much in way of advice, but just some prayers.

I agree with what the others here have advised you - read, research and find support groups. It seems to me that you are going thru this alone and on your own w/o much in way of support or guidance. However, I can't believe that this judge did not grant you some leeway if in fact your attorney did not advise you of the court order! I am not in the legal field, but it's my understanding that attorney's will usually follow-up with their clients in a letter outlining the things that just transpired in open court of in private. If he didn't do this then it just reeks of him not advocating for you. Is it possible he did communicate this to you and that you overlooked? I've been on a few juries and it just seems that this judge as well is way off target. And yes, you need to get a much better attorney who Will advocate for you, however you can do that. I would not pay him or your wife's attorney another dime.

Anyway, that being said sack, you can't give up on this - your daughter's well being is at stake here! So, please do as much reading and research as you can. Also, you might want to post more here at this time so you can get support and advice from those who have been through this.

Take care, and prayers,

Tom

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Originally Posted by Tom2010
Is it possible he did communicate this to you and that you overlooked?
The man said he never told him.
He even asked his lawyer WHY he wanted his 401k info, and the lawyer never gave a reason.

Whats to overlook?


Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 62
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Originally Posted by helpthelostdads
Sack,

Go out and get books. One is called �Father�s Rights� and the other is called, �Custody for Fathers�.

These will help you and explain a ton.

Don�t lose heart.

Purchased "Father's Right's" last night. Already can tell it's going to be a great book just from the first few pages. They didn't have "Custody for Father's".

I'll read this one first. I'm not a big reader, but will make SURE I read this.

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"Custody for Fathers" has a section on how to counter the dirty tricks women pull on men, such as false accusations of abuse.

Find it if you can.

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Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
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Sack?


Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
Joined: Jun 2010
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Well, sorry its been a bit since I've gave an update.

Yesterday was an interesting day. Had to be at Friend of the Court for a meeting/evaluation with the kids to see how we interacted so they can make a recommendation on who gets custody. I had all my ammo with me and the first thing she wanted was the report from CPS (which is stunning in itself). I laid it all out on the table to this lady. All her lies and how she's trying to alienate me from my kids. At the end, she asked if I had anything to add. I said, "what she's doing to my kids, is abuse itself". She replied, "There are many things that have been said as well as read that concerns me about her".

She'll have her conclusion in 3 weeks. Until then, I'm still in limbo, and struggling to survive. Next week is suppose to be the hearing for me to get possesion of my house as well as custody of my kids. But it may be postponed until this report comes out.

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Originally Posted by sack
Well, sorry its been a bit since I've gave an update.

Yesterday was an interesting day. Had to be at Friend of the Court for a meeting/evaluation with the kids to see how we interacted so they can make a recommendation on who gets custody. I had all my ammo with me and the first thing she wanted was the report from CPS (which is stunning in itself). I laid it all out on the table to this lady. All her lies and how she's trying to alienate me from my kids. At the end, she asked if I had anything to add. I said, "what she's doing to my kids, is abuse itself". She replied, "There are many things that have been said as well as read that concerns me about her".

She'll have her conclusion in 3 weeks. Until then, I'm still in limbo, and struggling to survive. Next week is suppose to be the hearing for me to get possesion of my house as well as custody of my kids. But it may be postponed until this report comes out.


Document, document, document. Report.

Depending on the nominal stance of the court in your state, it will be a battle.

It took one of my friends about 3 years to have enough evidence documented to have his XW's custody stripped - but through vigilance it was done.

She then proceeded to have 2 more children, with 2 different men, neither of which she has custody of. One is in a closed adoption, the other is in the custody of that father.


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
Document, document, document. Report.


Everything layed out was all in documentation smile

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