Peachy, thanks for the explanation. I think the "red" part came from people telling me that it would look "hot" or something. Red is the color of "hot" for me.

I called my oldest, DD30, who is a charge nurse at a chemo (infusion) clinic. Her area of expertise is different than yours if you're in imaging, but I hope that between the two of you, you can answer all future questions.

DD said to do the bronch first, then get a baseline PET scan. It doesn't matter, however, what we think as I think Karin's doctors have already decided to do the bronch first.

They did 5 different blood tests on her today, including one immediately after she gave a urine sample. And many other tests--x-ray and CAT scan and breathing tests, etc.

She's 51. My baby sister.

I agree w/her. Bronch b/c you need to see what you're dealing with exactly, then wait about 4-5 days after bronch to make sure the lungs aren't hot (meaning extra density/uptake of the region) and do the pet scan.

Fwiw, you cannot do a pet scan after chemo. Must wait 2 weeks or scan is poor. So bronch, four or five days later, then 1st pet and then if chemo needed begin then. Usually they'll check w/another pet to see if there is good response to treatment but again, just wait 2 weeks after last chemo to schedule.

Peachy and everyone,
They tried to do a bronch on her today but couldn't because her lungs are filled with pneumonia!

I think this is good news and may explain her poor results on the pulmonary function test last week and the ground glass opacity of her lungs. They're not even sure they saw a tumor yesterday because her lungs are so filled with pneumonia!

Pray that this is the explanation for everything!

I hope so too!

That would be wonderful, praying for it! My sister's had it tough next to me too. Not fair indeed.

Prayers going up.

Thanks Peachy, cabbage, and Scotty. I'm filled with hope!

I spoke to her this afternoon after she had spoken to the doctor. He estimates she's had pneumonia for 4 months--since she had the flu in early January. She's felt bad for a long while, but visits to the PA just produced increased asthma meds.

She hasn't really had much of a fever, maybe just off and on, but not constantly. She's had back pain but has arthritis in her back, so she dismissed it.

I told her that she's like the Energizer Bunny, but in a dangerous way--she'll keep going and going until she just drops dead.

This past week has been another rollercoaster ride! Thank the good Lord that Karin seems to be doing better than my marriage.

Karin is doing better but will be in the hospital until at least Saturday. The pulmonary specialist told her it will be at least a month before her lungs are clear enough to do another CAT scan or x-ray.

She'll either continue the IV antibiotics at home, using some sort of pic line or, hopefully, she'll be better enough to switch to an oral version of the meds.

Otherwise, life goes on. My IC told me today that she's never seen a marriage recover an affair and months of separation like mine.

I told her that I will be the first. Previously she had said that she's certain WH's affair will end.

I asked her about that. She said she's still confident it will end, but she doubted whether I'll be able to forgive him.

I think either she doesn't know me very well or I don't know myself very well. I think that it's 50-50 at this point that either of us is correct.

But I have a plan--a Plan B and a Plan D. You all know the Plan B. My Plan D is to prolong the divorce as long as possible. It's costing me quite a bit, but I think it's wise to invest in my marriage. I think this "investment" is just ticking off my WH, based on how he's always been about money and his previously stated desire for a "quick and easy" divorce. He told me it's silly to spend thousands to get a divorce.

I think it's silly to get divorced from someone I still love.

Guess we're at an impasse.

Karin went home from the hospital yesterday. She's taking steriods and oral antibiotics and feels better than she has in a long time.

The staff doctor at the hospital thinks the pneumonia was the cause of all of her recent breathing problems. The pulmonologist believes that she probably has a cancerous tumor. Here's for hoping the staff doctor is right! It will be a month before she's able to get a clear CAT scan or x-ray.

Here, we had a quiet Easter at my in-laws house. I hope everyone's Easter was a happy one.

I'm glad she was able to come home in time for Easter and that she is doing well...that has to be be a good sign! But it must be so hard to be in limbo with two completely different diagnoses. (((H&G))))

Prayers that the staff doctor is right. It would be great for you to get some good news. Happy Easter to you as well.

Karin saw her personal physician today. He's pretty certain it's lung cancer. He said it commonly is discovered when a patient gets a severe case of pneumonia like my sister did. He did say he thought it was in an early stage because a wash was done during the bronchoscopy and it didn't really reveal a cancer--more like pre-cancer.

Talk about emotional roller coasters!

She's decided to medically retire and work on being well and doing whatever that takes. She wasn't crying or surprised. Her Buddhist nature is very accepting of this. (My sister is also a Christian and believes in God--you'll never find a more faith-filled person than she.) Her motto for life could be summed up as "Life's too short to be unhappy."

It's always a surprise when my little sister (aged 51) is smarter than me (aged 54).

(((((H&G)))))

Sorry.

I can't even imagine what you are going through. Just know that I am always thinking about you and praying for your sister.

So scary, very sorry H&G. Praying that being in the early stage will allow complete healing!

Thanks, Scotty and cabbage. I do so very much appreciate your prayers.

Praying too and glad she is putting her health 1st right now.

That being said sweetie, it's time to get her a pet. That will stage anything right away. It is time for it.

I will pray tonight for her, for you, and for healing!!! You are a great sister to her! Hugs to you

LOL, peachy--I was going to tell you that she already has 4 dogs and doesn't need any other pets, but now I see you mean a pet scan.

She's in Kansas; I'm in Tennessee. I'll tell her to ask her doc/the pulmonologist/anyone for a pet as soon as possible. Thanks for the advice.

Thanks for the prayers, peachy.

Peachy, I have a question for you. On another thread, you wrote:

Did your WH try to take your divorce to mediation to avoid having monkeyho and the affairrage partner testify?

I think I can get everything I want through mediation (even 50% of his retirement) but I desperately want to depose Dumpy and make her testify in court. However, my lawyer has told me that pushing it into court may not please the judge and that may affect the final judgment over property. Still, he can send her interrogatories and depose her even if he doesn't use it because we settle first.

Did you have this problem--great settlement or justifiable revenge? Can you give me more details?

Thanks!

Well I had so many court run-ins with Darth it wasn't funny.

When we tried mediation it was (now looking back) quite comical.

There's a neutral, court appointed party there to be the referree for the two divorcing and their lawyers.

We walked in, me with my two attorneys (yes it took two b/c he was horrible to reign in and it almost took a year to even get his financial disclosure), and darth with his attny. We began, and my attorneys started, and about halfway through our opening banter, he stood up and said, "Phillip, what are you going to do about this (Phil was his attny)?" Phillip told him to sit down and wait and listen. Things went on some more, and we got to hear from Phil for a while and then the attorneys began talking and somewhat negotiating. Phil said "I can see this is very reasonable..blah blah blah" (talking about division of $ and such).

Darth got insensed, felt he was going to not have things his way, so he stood up and asked Phil to go into the hallway with him. HE FIRED his attorney in the hallway, and then walked into the room where we were doing the mediation and said "I will be back in a minute. My client has exited the building and made me to believe he has fired me."

The mediator was speechless as were my attorneys and of course, myself.

A few minutes later, Phil came into the room again, apologized for everything, said that Darth indeed fired him and that he was sorry we came to this, as it was a waste of everybodys' time and money.

The mediator said he'd never seen this happen before EVER in his 30 years of law practice, and both of my attorneys AND Darth's attorney had never heard of this happening before. Thus, we had to go to court after that.

I was never going to get a dream settlement because Darth would never permit it. Plus we had a forensic accountant go thru everything and nothing more than what he had decided to provide to the court (his business faked financial documents, this we did prove later on)was far less than what he really had financially. He'd sent (found this out like 3 years later) money overseas into several different accounts.

So it depends on your situation. Just remember, a wayward will NEVER be fair or just in any situation like that. He has to pay for a hobag as well as his family and the hobag will demand MORE.

MORE of YOUR money, and the money for the kids. She feels entitled to it too.

Now what you can do is still hold a pre-mediation deposition where you call in the other woman. It's like a trial, but not where there is a whole packed courtroom. We did that. He saw and knew after our pre mediation depositions where everything was going and that he was going down.

My attorneys, however, did not want me in the room with the ow (s) (there were 2) because they said it would further emotionally harm me, but they could grill him away and show me the testimony. They did and it still hurt just as bad.

However, when you go into court, there is imho more shock value when they have to take the stand, and the ow had to. I was good with that part. Hearing the lies and justifications were great. In the end, one of the ow came clean and admitted what she did was "not the best thing and she felt bad".

So my response is go hard and heavy on them. MAKE them know they'll be deposed in court. Let them know that even if it goes to mediation, there WILL be a deposition somewhere, and that THIS SHAME, THIS SIN, THIS EVIL, will become PART of a legal and binding document that anybody in this country or around the world can see, if they come and request the documents.

Let him know that he's lost the ability to negotiate.

I just think negotiations w/waywards are similar to attempting to negotiate with a terrorist.

Take it from the navy seals: fire first, take no prisoners, no negotiations with the terrorist, then burial at sea later.

I am a huge supporter for deposition of the ow/om. It is something they dread, something that really drives THEIR role in things home.

Plus, if anybody ever says you are slandering them, like the ow or om, you simply go and pull up the official legal documents, get them printed off, and voila. It is suddenly NOT heresay. It is legal fact.

Legal fact you can splatter all over the place. Wherever you wish to. On the subway. On a bathroom wall. On a billboard. On your FB page. On a flyer. Anywhere YOU like. You can continue exposure infinitely if you wish.

I did. And to this very day, monkeyho DARES not show her face on FB or in any media outlet, and didn't even announce her wedding to another mangina (he was a guy who cheated on his wife too with her). Why? Because meee enacted an exposure which went on for as long as she tried to come around my child (which was prohibited as per my separation and divorce decree). He was deeply (Darth) entrenched in his affair with monkeyho, but seeing the other ow, Ms. Family Values, at the time, on the side. When he later on married the pregnant Family Values, I could not prohibit that as she was at the time legally married to him.

I even sent further exposure letters to her family (along with the document) when she (against the courts' ruling) was with my son for one weekend during his dads' visitation. I even was so kind as to highlight the areas of our decree which SHE VIOLATED and also highlighted her name in the "committed adultery" part and sent some of her interrogatory.

She could do nothing about it, since it was simply HER OWN testimony and the decision of the judge and the legal pleading. All was legal. All was valid. I sent a letter saying, "Please inform your relative, Ms. Monkeyho, that if she violates the included legal ruling, that the law enforcement in her area will be notified, and she will be answering to the courts in GA as to why she deliberately broke the judges' orders. Enclosed you will find her words and testimony and I am informing you she illegally spent the night under the same roof as my son carrying on an indecent relationship with his father.

There is merit in having the ho's testify.