Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 2 1 2
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Gack1 for president !

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
G
Gack1 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
I told fww about the site yesterday.

It's not good!

I thought she would be proud, I was wrong.

OC is apparently not a good term for a child.

Even My nieces have berated me.

WTF?

I thought this crap was over.




Last edited by Gack1; 05/06/11 10:57 PM.

Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,803
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,803
So your wife didn't know about MB all this time?

It's not like you're going to refer to your daughter as OC to her face. My H and I never use that term when we're talking to each other. In fact, the only time I use it is when I come here. It's just an abbreviation used for the sake of clarification on an internet forum. Did you explain it like that?

Maybe once she becomes more familiar with MB and what it has to offer she'll warm up to it.


Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780
Originally Posted by writer1
So your wife didn't know about MB all this time?

It's not like you're going to refer to your daughter as OC to her face. My H and I never use that term when we're talking to each other. In fact, the only time I use it is when I come here. It's just an abbreviation used for the sake of clarification on an internet forum. Did you explain it like that?

Right...just like we don't refer to our husbands as 'dh' IRL conversations.

Sounds like she was looking for an excuse to be angry.

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 266
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 266
I never call my daughter OC either--just to clarify the context for forum purposes only.

Perhaps she needs to understand that this forum helps guide us toward enhancing our marriages, learning how to love better, and even gives helpful advice on making good choices. It's a wonderful tool that saves lives. Not meant to degrade.


Me: WW
BH
DD(4)
DS(2)
DD(1)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Originally Posted by Gack1
I told fww about the site yesterday.

It's not good!

I thought she would be proud, I was wrong.

OC is apparently not a good term for a child.

Even My nieces have berated me.

WTF?

I thought this crap was over.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Your good deed?
Raising OC as your own beloved child.

We use such terms OM, OW, BW, BH, WW, WH, COM, OC ..... simply as a shorthand to distinguish the persons involved from each other.

Your wife cares NOT for the term OC?
Does she have an opinion of the term BH?

(((( hugs ))))

And THANK YOU for being MAN ENOUGH to raise the OC in a warm loving home.

Your child(ren) are blessed to have YOU.


Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,094
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,094
Originally Posted by gack
I told fww about the site yesterday.

It's not good!

I thought she would be proud, I was wrong.

OC is apparently not a good term for a child.

Even My nieces have berated me.

WTF?

I thought this crap was over.
Originally Posted by wanthealing
I never call my daughter OC either--just to clarify the context for forum purposes only.

Perhaps she needs to understand that this forum helps guide us toward enhancing our marriages, learning how to love better, and even gives helpful advice on making good choices. It's a wonderful tool that saves lives. Not meant to degrade.
I

This is kinda what I was thinking, I also agree with the other words of folks here regarding the site. I think this site can be very intimidating to someone without some prior knowledge of MB, Dr. Harley's writing, and generally a slow orientation to the concepts. For instance: I had (obviously) been trying to encourage my exww to come here for a long time. Even when the divorce was eminent I suggested she come here for support. She evidently finally logged on one day and then reported to me that she got discouraged because there were "kids" posting -- the best I can figure is she saw a post from someone who had fewer than 20 posts and was listed as a "junior member." Oh well, I tried.

With this particular forum, even though it's not about marriage per se, I think it's essential to understand the concepts prior to coming here. I was a member for a year before I ventured to open up that link - too scared.

The language, acronyms, set-up, and flow of the site are very logical. However they are unlike others I've seen. If you're family are familiar with others, or none at all, I can see why they might have been intimidated.

I would encourage you to go around the site with her for a period of time, pointing out things like # of posts. To me a sign that it's a serious tool - people just don't hang around long enough to post 30 and 40 thousand times unless there is validity.

I also think things like this site, and MB, and lots of other good things are just simply not for everyone. If that's the case for your fww, I only hope she will not discourage you from coming here if it is helpful. It may be something to POJA because you don't want it to become IB.

opt

Page 2 of 2 1 2

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 31 guests, and 52 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Overcomer4513, caraduke, Convict20, GTNY, Avianna
71,737 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,550
Posts2,322,811
Members71,737
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5